Last weekend, I wasn't an alcoholic...

Old 09-24-2009, 08:04 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
holdfold's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 96
Drift, nice to see you here and that you are rationalizing intake versus need.

One small question.... see if you can not drink for a month without any issues = shakes, craving, panic attacks, anxiety, sleeplessness, etc... that will answer the question for you.... if you can, stay sober for a year and see how you like it.... if you can't we're all here to help.... either way you are welcome in SR.

You have drawn similarities for many of us here... for me two years ago and that ramped up to a fifth a day and more.....

Try and see how you get on....
holdfold is offline  
Old 09-24-2009, 08:06 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
PrimalScream's Avatar
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 219
Thanks for sharing driftwood...this thread is great for those of us who pretty much just drank beer and thought we were "OK" because we did. I was/am like that to, although I didn't drink everyday. I was/am a binger (pretty much every weekend from Friday to Sunday, with the odd weeknight thrown in...all vacations and holidays). Have been for the last 30 years. I just turned 43 sept 7th and celebrated it with a 5 day binge in Vegas...when I got home I quit and haven't had any for 15 days now. I told myself I am not drinking for 30 days as I know I can do that. Saying the rest of my life was to vague and overwhelming, but I know in my heart if I get 30 days I will go for another 30 days. I even went to an beginners AA meeting...I never thought I would do that, but it was might want to check one out. Anyway, great to have you here and I hope you do the right thing for you.
PrimalScream is offline  
Old 09-24-2009, 11:07 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
zen alien
Thread Starter
driftwood's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 13
It's nice...really, unexpectedly trip on what turns out to be a bunch of friends I didn't know I had. I honestly dont know what I'll do, but I know that, again, today, I'm not drinking. When I think, "never", it's too much. Way too much change to commit to in a single thought. At the same time, the thought of having a beer or two seems a little profaning to the sense of calm and purpose I've felt for the last 110+ hours. So, what to do? I guess I'll have to forfeit my anxiousness to know what course is charted in favor of living this moment free of a map. That feels pretty good, in a totally terrifying way

MeAndOnlyMe - one of the things I read on someone's signature before I posted (wish I could remember whose) seems apropos for me, maybe you too: "the future is a fiction that will never be written".

Still haven't had any symptoms I'd attribute to detox issues, but it was an interesting experience getting home last night. Weds nights are usually solitary time for me (wife & girls have activities, so I usually enjoy playing my guitar and killing a mixed 6 (at least) all by myself). I knew I wasn't going to let that be the case last night, but habit sure wanted me to! Didnt really know what to do with myself, ended up getting a lot of things done. Seemed to help alot just keeping a glass of cold club soda with lime at hand...I never realized just how much of my habit seems to be a physical thing; i.e., having something cold in my hand & sipping it.

thanks again for all the response and advice....I am listening.
driftwood is offline  
Old 09-24-2009, 11:28 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
smacked's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Blog Entries: 1
Originally Posted by driftwood View Post
Wow, thank you all so much for such a warm & unexpected welcome. I'm very glad to have discovered this place. I feel very fortunate to have done so.

Seems like the mission of SoberRecovery is a community support effort, but maybe its worth mentioning that it functions very well as a cautionary tale for people like me.., As I've read some of your posts, I've been stunned to realize that it really can get that bad, and that's a good thing. I didn't realize it was humanly possible to survive some of the quantities related even once, much less habitually & it's frightening to think I'm potentially submitting myself to the same road some of you have already tread.

Bottom line is that I enjoy drinking, but only if I do it because I want to. I think I'm starting to understand that I'm reaching or am past the point where "want to" has anything to do with it.

thanks again for the welcome, hope to get to know you guys better.

I enjoyed drinking too. Too much. I 'wanted' every drink I consumed.. too often. Too much and too often would have destroyed me if I kept it up, so I stopped. I actually didn't experience any detox/withdrawal symptoms either, and I have no idea why.. doesn't matter anyways at this point.

I have never ever regretted not drinking. On those days that still come where I do miss the taste, mind buzz, whatever.. I weigh it against what I've gained from being sober, and remind myself exactly where I'd go back to if I indulged. It's not THAT important.. that buzz or that taste. It's just a drink, right? I'm pretty ok with a Dr. Pepper and a clear head, any day!

smacked is offline  
Old 09-24-2009, 03:05 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Ethanol Intolerant
recycle's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 665
Blog Entries: 3
DW, I am a half dozen years older than you, and my experience sounds similar to yours. I always took a little pride in my ability to wallow with eagles at night and soar with the pigs in the morning. Then it clicked for me about two years ago, I went from a drinker to a drunk. The game was on, bourbon in my morning coffee became a game. Now I am broken, I damaged my self, I will never be able to go there again with risking death. (Sounds dramatic huh? But I **** you not, there is a line you cannot see until you pass it.) Do yourself a favor, take a month off from drinking, it should be no big deal, tell your friends you are training for a marathon or something. If there is no addiction, it should not be a problem right?
recycle is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:30 PM.