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Tazman53 09-23-2009 04:37 AM

I have noticed that every single major step I have made in my recovery that gave me true results has involved me steppiing out side of my comfort zone.

Calling the drug & alcohol hotline and asking for help!

Keeping the doctors appoinment.

Following the doctors suggestion by going to detox.

Following the detox falks suggestion about going to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and getting a sponsor.

Taking the steps.

Making amends.

Every single one of the above I did not want to do, but I did them because I did not want to die a drunk! Every single one of those things that I did not want to do I did and all of them resulted in good results.

I have found that in order to keep moving forward in my recovery I have to be able to continue to step outside of my comfort zone.

My old comfort zone was sitting in my garage by myself listening to the radio drinking, that comfort zone damn near killed me.

What types of things have you all done in your recovery that involved you stepping out of your comfort zone? What were the results?

tommyk 09-23-2009 05:22 AM

And each time we step out of our comfort zone we become stronger. ;)

I have a note on my 'fridge - "get out of your comfort zone today."

One huge asset I have acquired through recovery is a totally accidental by-product of AA. I can do public speaking now! It used to absolutely terrify me, but since I 'got out of my comfort zone' and shared at meetings, and gave leads at meetings, I can do public speaking now.

When I public speak now I just pretend everyone in the audience is in AA. ;)

Now I am terrified I will introduce myself as "Hi I'm Tommy K. and I am an alcoholic" at a business function!

Great topic - get out of your comfort zone!

keithj 09-23-2009 06:40 AM

I couldn't agree more, Taz. Not only facing some uncomfortable things in my first time taking the 12 steps, but in continued progress as well.

It's gotten to be almost a joke with me. Whenever I have to muster up a little courage or when I'm dragging my feet on something, inevitably it ends up leading to growth if I stay willing to carry out the action. Even if it doesn't feel like it going in.

We can talk about the comfort zone being reinforcing to the ego, or any number of reasons why, but the bottom line for me is that growth seems to come through doing what is right, not what I want to do.

Cath1029 09-23-2009 06:43 AM

Fully trusting is WAY out of my comfort zone...but I'm learning better every day how to do it.

Kez 09-23-2009 06:56 AM

i think trusting myself is out of my comfort zone,, and thats what i think i need to do to get through.....

penny74 09-23-2009 06:59 AM

Yeah.. sometimes you just have to step out in the rain and get wet...
You just have to do it...

Tazman53 09-23-2009 07:10 AM

Cath & Kez, trust is crucial, but one must always be sure that the trust is developed.

A lesson that one must learn is who to trust, trust is something we need to learn to do, but at the same time we need to be wary of who we trust, both in and outside of recovery.

By the time I got to doing my 5th step with my sponsor I had developed a trust in him that I could share my deepest darkest secret with him and know 2 things:

1. No matter what I told him, it remained between him, God & I & would never go no further.

2. That no matter what I told him that he would not judge me for my past nor my present.

A honest and thorough 5th step gave me freedom beyond my wildest dreams.

I told him a secret I had held on to for about 40 years, this was something that had eaten me alive with shame and guilt, once it left my lips I realized just how ridiculous it had been to hold onto that shame and guilt for all those years, he did not bat an eye, he asked me a few questions about it and giving him the answers set me free even more.

I have heard it said that secrets kill more alcoholics then anything. I can see how they would today.

Kez 09-23-2009 07:22 AM

Thankyou Tazman,, i have an appointment with my natropath tomorrow, she is helping me get my minerals and vitamins up to help my body to better deal with stopping drinking she has also given me something to dull the cravings (dont think its working though) and ive only seen her a few times, so not so sure with how much to trust her but what i have said to her she has been kind and understanding, so ill see how it gos tomorrow... I think trust in myself is the harder issue, i have to trust myself to know that i can do this.......

Tazman53 09-23-2009 07:31 AM

Trust in ones self is critical as you say. You know though I have found prayer and meditation along with talking with others I trust about things I am thinking of doing helps me to set my trust level in my own thinking.

My best thinking kept me drunk for many many more years because I could not trust others, I could not ask for help because I felt that I was showing weakness. I reached a point when I was drinking where I trusted no one, especially myself!!! I had to develop trust and faith in a Power greater then myself and in others, this has helped me to gain trust in myself.

I know that the longer I stay sober and trust in my HP and others I gain trust in myself. I still seek guidance in areas I am uncomfortable with, but I get better by the day figuring out with the guidance of my HP what is the next right thing to do most of the time. I am still learning and will always be learning.

bananagrrrl 09-23-2009 07:32 AM

I asked someone to be my sponsor.

That was huge for me. It took me about two months to decide who I wanted and work up the guts.

I still do not like to share though. When they call on me I am extremely brief. I feel like I don't have much to say this early in my recovery. Although I have 50 days, I just started with a sponsor one week ago.

Kez 09-23-2009 07:42 AM


Originally Posted by Tazman53 (Post 2376509)
I had to develop trust and faith in a Power greater then myself and in others, this has helped me to gain trust in myself.

So are you saying that once i trust in others and the greater power than myself,, it will be easier to trust in myself?

Tazman53 09-23-2009 07:44 AM

bananagrrrl getting a sponsor is awesome, I was pretty darn lucky, in detox they had told us to get a sponsor, so the first meeting I went to out of detox I asked this guy I did not know from Adam to be my sponsor.............. He said "No"!!! He told me he would be my temporary sponsor though. We spoke at length, he shared with me suggestions that had helped him in early sobriety to stay sober, but more importantly he shared with me what I should look for in a sponsor.

Following his suggestions helped me to stay sober until I found my present sponsor with whom I took the steps. I do the same thing with any man who asks me to sponsor him, I agree to be his temporary sponsor at first making sure he understands that my feelings will not be hurt in the least if they find another sponsor.

Oh how I remember how scared I was asking him to be my sponsor, what I was scared of I have no idea, probably rejection! When he first said no I thought I was going to die on the spot, but his explanation let me know he was watching out for me and not rejecting me.

Hevyn 09-23-2009 09:35 AM

Thanks for this, Taz.

When I began to admit to everyone around me that I was addicted and struggling to get off it, things changed. I spent my whole adult life hiding it and sneaking around to figure out ways to get my hands on my next fix. When I looked people in the eye and said I was working on my problem and I would get well - that's when things changed for me. It was so hard, though - I never wanted anyone to think badly of me - sad part is, they'd already been talking behind my back for a long time.

Now I'd like to try a meeting and actually - um - say something. :abct:

Bamboozle 09-23-2009 09:42 AM

Reaching out for help with depression.

Not drinking any time sh!t hits the fan.

Keeping my therapy sessions.

Allowing myself to feel my emotions...and letting them go naturally.

And lately sticking up for myself. I never used to do that. Now that I do it feels great. It's still a little scary b/c I'm in unfamiliar territory, but I'll get the hang of it.

Jomey 09-23-2009 10:29 AM

Realizing that I, myself, Jomey, had worth...just because I am a child of my God, a human soul...not because I am a good mother, sister, wife, etc., and I am certainly not worthless because I am an alcoholic. Realizing that and believing it were WAY outside my comfort zone while I was drinking and into the beginning of my sobriety.

Now that I have fully embraced it, I can ask for what I need without feeling guilty or ashamed or weak, and that has set me free.

Great thread Taz. Thanks!

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