Relapse
 

Hi everyone. I first found this site over a year ago but did not stick with it.
Tried f2f AA and had negative experiences with 2 different groups. One wasn't very friendly, and the other had a guy in it who kind of stalked me. I was happy to see on the boards here that many have found sobreity without AA. I also don't feel comfortable with the Christian slant at AA meetings around here. (My spirituality is more Eastern philosophy.)

Wish me luck. I seem to be unable (or unwilling?) to go more than 10 days without binge drinking. Ugg! I am in self-hatred mode right now, wishing for a drink to make me feel better. How sad.

Am living an hour at a time today.

Hi Sunny,

I am glad you're back.

It's such a vicious cycle to be caught up in the self-hatred, and then drinking to ease those feelings, and of course back to the self-hatred. I thought I would never get out of that mess. But, you can do it! Make one small change and it can have a ripple effect in your life. You can do this!

Thanks Anna. Do they have live meetings of any kind here at SR?

Hi Sunnydog :)

Welcome.

SR can be a great help to you - it is to me...recovery's a lot of hard work, but the rewards are so worth it

If you like, check out our Sept thread - full of ppl who quit this month...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

and our two weeks and under thread, full of people just starting off, like yourself
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-9-a-5.html

Hope to see you around :)
D

there's a live chat meeting schedule forum. I don't 'do' chat myself, but a lot do. check it out.:c009:

welcome back.. i'm in A.A. and have had more than my share of relapses.. today i have a great home group meeting that has saved my life! ODAAT is the way i still live today! (sober 2 years and 8 months now!):ring

I hope you find hope here. :)

I'm sorry you had such negative experiences with face to face meetings. That doesn't mean you should stop looking for them though!

I understand your inability to find solace in the non-secular modes of recovery. The 12 step process, unfortunately, includes this as a fundamental step, which severely turned me off of it. Just remember that you are the single most important agent of your own change. Either you do it, or you do not. That's really all it all comes down to. I know it may seem impossible and difficult and a HUGE up-hill battle...but if you don't do it...who will?

Make the change happen that you want to see in your life.

Good luck and keep posting!

Thanks Dee47 didnt know that was available :)

not many people do Kez!
just letting people know

just call me Dee BTW ;) LOL
D

LOL ok Dee sorry!!!!!!

I think the first thing you need to do is find that self love inside you. You have to love yourself and believe in yourself if you are to succeed in anything.
Dont focus on the past, the negative, what you cant fix.
Start clean. Literally.
Nothing that has happened matters. It may cause some issues in the future. But you take it as it comes and always remember that that was then and this is now. Just stay the course and do the right thing and things will fall into place.
And always keep trying. I cant stress that enough. I dont care if you fall a million times. You get up a million and one.
Welcome back.

Welcome to SR. If you're serious about recovery, SR is an awesome place to start.

Hello Sunnydog... I too just came back from a relapse and am going through those crazy emotions right now... You are not alone.. SR is great support for us all.

Good luck!

I had to get to the stage where i didn't even have enough clean time to relapse on lol before i went to AA! Anyway hope you find your way soon, whatever it may be:-)

Best of wishes to you. You'll get great support here as you can see :c033: