totally overwhelmed
 

crikey.
i quit drinking while i was on vacation. now i'm back to work, 2nd day at work and things are feeling way too overwhelming. so many personality clashes, have mediation in fact with someone i've been clashing with for years now (a real control freak, triggers the heck out of me) tomorrow. which i'm dreading. can't even imagine doing a 3 hour mediation session w/ someone who makes me feel so f*** up.

i'm also feeling really sensitive - edgy - weepy. like i just can't handle 'the world' right now, ya know??

and last night my g-friend mentioned she would join a gym so that she'd 'be ready' for next time - in the same breath saying she knew it would never happen again (i pushed her when drunk - that was the last time i drank). and that the prospect of me boxing (i mentioned i might like to box for exercise) made her feel 'unsafe.' and basically she said 'no, you can't take up boxing.' which is fine, i understand that, i do... so i won't... but her crying & looking at me like i'm a monster again and feeling like such a horrible person again...

and work BS...

!@#$!%

i don't know how to manage these things (stress i guess it's called) w/out the promise of booze in the near future). :a108:

excercise is a good idea.


Prioritize your tasks at hand. A person can only do one thing at a time as a rule.

I am sure your girlfriend is affraid that you will drink again and treat her badly again and this is something that it will take time to heal.
I quit drinking when my wife said quit or get out and I am sure at first she did not think that I would follow through with my promise.
Time sober will make her faith in you stronger and if this is what you want I can tell you that it is worth the effort.
As we face more and more things sober we become stronger and the desire to drink to handle our daily burdens diminishes until we embrace these trials as just a part of life.
Don't give in now. Your desire not to drink will become stronger than the need to drink sooner than you expect.
Good luck.

Wow, violence is never the answer in any situation.

And, if there is not trust between you, then I'm not sure how that will work.

I think you should just focus on your recovery and let the rest fall into place.

Sensitive-edgy-weepy, yup, that's all part of it. Things won't stay that way, though. It will all get better as you learn to live without your crutch. It only stays that intense in the beginning. Each day you're making progress - it just doesn't feel like it right now.

thanks for all the great tips and support everyone! focusing on one task at a time... very helpful. thank you.
exercise. i must and will. absolutely. thank you.
knowing that i AM getting better everyday but that it just doesn't feel that way right now... edgy-weepy-sensitive, knowing that will pass in time... excellent. thank you thank you.
hearing that my gf needs time to heal and that trust will one day be restored as i continue to heal and maintain sobriety - good to keep in mind, very helpful, thank you.

thanks again y'all! :scared:

Capt Zing had a great suggestion I think - prioritize...don't try and do everything at once - it's ok to deal with just the most important stuff for now....

and like Anna says the most important thing, really, is your recovery - get that down and everything else has a way of falling into place :)

Keep hanging in there~
D

Thanks for reminding me why I try (try...) to live the 12 steps.

I am succeeding in learning how to handle these things without the promise of booze in my future.

Keep coming back. ;)