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Old 09-22-2009, 02:53 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR Wolf

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Old 09-22-2009, 03:10 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Hey Wolf, welcome to SR, this is such a great site!!! I wish you the best on your path. Please keep reading and posting, you will find tons of great advise, experience and suggestions here.

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Old 09-22-2009, 03:20 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Wolf00
I really am going to change my life. I can quit anything cold turkey and am right now, but its damn hard. I'm incredibly strong willed, but also stubborn.
Being determined and focused on working a good personalized addiction treatment program has changed my life all for the better in countless ways. So it sounds like to me your off to a good start... keep up the forward momentum.
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Old 09-22-2009, 03:24 PM   #24 (permalink)
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an old timer said to me once " alcoholism is like making love to a gorilla, you might love it or hate it but once it starts youve lost all options to when its gonna stop".

never truer words spoken !!.

take care, be safe and get help.

go bless
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Old 09-22-2009, 03:37 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR!!
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Old 09-22-2009, 03:48 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Welcome, Wolf

I just wanted to share that I was surprised at how many of the people in my life either said 1) "Why didn't you tell me?"(ie, they would have done whatever they could have to help) or 2) knew what I thought they didn't
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Old 09-23-2009, 03:32 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Welcome Wolf00

This isn't a lecture brother, these are just some of my thoughts as I read your posts.

You sound like you have a good handle on your situation and what you want to accomplish. Self-awareness is a sign of strength, but just being aware isnít going to change anything until you do something about it. Acknowledging to yourself that you have a problem is only one part of the process, but it can be the beginning of your turning point.

You say you never talked with anyone about this,,, maybe they already know.

Great lyrics in a song, "You never know just how you look through someone else's eyes."

Maybe you have hurt your family and friends - did you ever ask them? You might be surprised by what you hear. And don't get mad and defensive if you hear some hurtful sh*t. Remind yourself that you're the one that asked.

Who knows what groups or recovery programs will work best for you. Get involved with some - it may be just what you need right now. Keep posting, stay involved. PM me if you want. I can speak more frankly and colorfully that way.

I wish you success not luck. Luck is for gamblers - success is the reward for doers.
Dude, thanks a lot as I sit here awake unable to sleep knowing this is part of the pain of abstaining. I most definitely have hurt my friends and family indirectly and have noticed certain more sober friends talking to me less and less.

My family has only approached me once to ask if I was OK at real bad on oxymorphone (Opana ER 40's = bad news) when I was whacked outta my gourd and during a three to four almost daily coke bender that whacked me out pretty bad once again.

My friends all know, and often ask me if I quit to the opiate **** to which I say, "yes" which I think they know is a lie.

I've got a handle on it terms of identifying the issue, but its filling some void I can't understand. I don't know how I feel about recovery programs. Once again I'm strong willed but ******* stubborn as a mule. Thanks my man.
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Old 09-23-2009, 03:37 AM   #28 (permalink)
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I killed myself with a ton of drugs and alcohol too, for most of my life.

Getting and staying clean and sober has been the best thing I have ever done.

I highly recommend getting some Dr. assistance and a good plan for recovery. Abstinence has very little to do with recovering from drug addiction or alcohol dependence.
Thanks girl, I've got more going for me than I really know. But addiction is almost a family curse as all in my immediate family are heavy drinkers or drug users. You're right I've done it for a few months and had this energy burst I can't explain ie going to the gym, eating right etc. But I've always hung in the circles where its not "where can we find whatever" but "how much do I feel like doing cause its easier to get than groceries cause its brought to me or in the ******* house.
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Old 09-23-2009, 03:50 AM   #29 (permalink)
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But basically its broke me financially and spiritually recently and I realized I'm lucky to be alive.
Wolf I bolded the word spiritually in quoting you because in order for me to recover I had to have a spiritual awakening.

Quote:
there is some void that is being filled by drugs and alcohol.
I bolded the word void because due to the spiritual awakening I had that void in my soul has been filled, I tried filling it for many years with booze and there never was enough booze to fill it no matter how hard I tried the void remained.

I and millions of others have found a spiritual solution to a physical/mental problem. Interested?
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Old 09-23-2009, 03:53 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Wolf I bolded the word spiritually in quoting you because in order for me to recover I had to have a spiritual awakening.



I bolded the word void because due to the spiritual awakening I had that void in my soul has been filled, I tried filling it for many years with booze and there never was enough booze to fill it no matter how hard I tried the void remained.

I and millions of others have found a spiritual solution to a physical/mental problem. Interested?
Had the same conversation with a relative doing the same thing. His answer exactly. Grew up Catholic, believed all of it, but lost faith for a LONG time to this day. So yes.
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Old 09-23-2009, 10:41 PM   #31 (permalink)
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You sound alot like my sister. She was the life of the party and always fun to be around. She experimented in alcohol, cocaine, crack, and lastly pills. The pills took her soul and eventually her life. Please try to seek professional help. You sound like you are on the right track but trying to go it alone cold turkey may prove to be a difficult task. God bless you on your sobriety.
Hey I wanted to thank you thats me, only the party never stopped for me when it did for many, but not all that I knew. I've identified the issues and think talking to people like you are the only therapy I need.
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