10Days
One Foot in Front of the Other
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 582
10Days
Feeling OK...not like a million bucks, but definitely better.
I can see and feel some of the crushing anxiety and depression starting to lift. Woke of this morning wanting to call of work in the worst way possible, but knew I had things to do. So I dragged myself out, and, once I had a cup of coffee and the fog started to lift, realized I'm calmer.
I'd like to think it's a combination of the new meds and some of the work I've been doing on myself in recent days...alone, with the support of my wife and friends, by reading some of your stories and posting when I think it's helpful, and with my therapist.
Last therapy session was really heavy for me. I actually felt a bit worse when I left than when I stepped in. Today's session was different. Still heavy, but somewhat uplifting at the same time.
We discussed several topics that I feel will be important to me as I move forward:
-Trusting and believing the love that others have for me
-Working on love for myself
-The importance of giving to others, even when I don't necessarily feel like it, and especially when I don't feel like it.
-Being grateful for the people and things I have in my life, looking back and realizing how far I've come, and how good my life really is, and letting the future take care of itself.
One big thing we discussed was the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and actions. When I "go off the rails", often times my thoughts feed into my feelings, which in turn create my actions. I'm thinking many of you can relate. What my therapist tells me is that I need to work the loop in reverse...let good actions improve my mood, and therefore my everyday thoughts.
Seems deceptively simple, but when I apply it, it works! I just needed a reminder after my most recent relapse.
I know I have an awful lot of work still in front of me, but I feel better about things than I did just a few days ago.
Thanks for listening, and I hope you are all doing well.
Special shout-out to fallenman and purple cat. I hope we're still bound by the same sobriety date, and I also hope you're having a good Day 10 too.
I can see and feel some of the crushing anxiety and depression starting to lift. Woke of this morning wanting to call of work in the worst way possible, but knew I had things to do. So I dragged myself out, and, once I had a cup of coffee and the fog started to lift, realized I'm calmer.
I'd like to think it's a combination of the new meds and some of the work I've been doing on myself in recent days...alone, with the support of my wife and friends, by reading some of your stories and posting when I think it's helpful, and with my therapist.
Last therapy session was really heavy for me. I actually felt a bit worse when I left than when I stepped in. Today's session was different. Still heavy, but somewhat uplifting at the same time.
We discussed several topics that I feel will be important to me as I move forward:
-Trusting and believing the love that others have for me
-Working on love for myself
-The importance of giving to others, even when I don't necessarily feel like it, and especially when I don't feel like it.
-Being grateful for the people and things I have in my life, looking back and realizing how far I've come, and how good my life really is, and letting the future take care of itself.
One big thing we discussed was the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and actions. When I "go off the rails", often times my thoughts feed into my feelings, which in turn create my actions. I'm thinking many of you can relate. What my therapist tells me is that I need to work the loop in reverse...let good actions improve my mood, and therefore my everyday thoughts.
Seems deceptively simple, but when I apply it, it works! I just needed a reminder after my most recent relapse.
I know I have an awful lot of work still in front of me, but I feel better about things than I did just a few days ago.
Thanks for listening, and I hope you are all doing well.
Special shout-out to fallenman and purple cat. I hope we're still bound by the same sobriety date, and I also hope you're having a good Day 10 too.
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Yup! Feeling good. Went skating today and yesterday, which helps a lot with making my mood good. Except that I haven't skated in a month, and my boots were really making the tops of my ankles hurt - ouch! I have a skating lesson tomorrow (first one in well over a month) so that should be fun.
I'm glad that things are going well for you too! Working on oneself is one of the hardest things to do, I think. I went through a lot of it when I beat anxiety disorder years ago (well, almost beat - I think the drinking is a lingering part of that).
Anyway, keep up the good work!
I'm glad that things are going well for you too! Working on oneself is one of the hardest things to do, I think. I went through a lot of it when I beat anxiety disorder years ago (well, almost beat - I think the drinking is a lingering part of that).
Anyway, keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bowling Green KY
Posts: 275
still here want to heal and happy for the things you're working out.
i just finished a major project that i've been working on for a month. back in the day i would take tomorrow off and just get drunk as heck tonight.
but that's not gonna happen. i'll leave work. go to baseball practice and help out there. go home and just chill.
one of the hardest ones you're working on is love of oneself. i guess drinking yourself to death could be looked at as the utimate love of oneself as we destroy ourselves no matter who it destroys around us.
but when we wake up toxic it is ourself that we hate. i truly, truly detested myself when i woke up and couldn't remember if i did something embarrassing the night before. even when i found out i didn't it was no relief.
thank goodness i have not woke up with that feeling for the last 9 days.
stay strong my brutha and you too purple cat.
i just finished a major project that i've been working on for a month. back in the day i would take tomorrow off and just get drunk as heck tonight.
but that's not gonna happen. i'll leave work. go to baseball practice and help out there. go home and just chill.
one of the hardest ones you're working on is love of oneself. i guess drinking yourself to death could be looked at as the utimate love of oneself as we destroy ourselves no matter who it destroys around us.
but when we wake up toxic it is ourself that we hate. i truly, truly detested myself when i woke up and couldn't remember if i did something embarrassing the night before. even when i found out i didn't it was no relief.
thank goodness i have not woke up with that feeling for the last 9 days.
stay strong my brutha and you too purple cat.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 232
HOLLA! to my other day 10'ers..lol
Thanks Wanttoheal for letting me take in your therapy vicariously..lol it's a comfort to know there are others on this new scary/exciting? journey with me. Another weekend is approaching, stay strong everyone
Thanks Wanttoheal for letting me take in your therapy vicariously..lol it's a comfort to know there are others on this new scary/exciting? journey with me. Another weekend is approaching, stay strong everyone
One Foot in Front of the Other
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 582
Purplecat and fallenman, glad to hear that you're still around and doing well. Carrie, welcome to our not-so-exclusive little club! It's great to make your acquaintance!
What say we all see each other to celebrate the miracle of 20 days...if not sooner!
What say we all see each other to celebrate the miracle of 20 days...if not sooner!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 50
"Trusting and believing the love that others have for me"
That's the hard one for me. I do believe it, usually, but it hardly takes any little proof otherwise to blow it all to H-E-double-hockeysticks.
Glad you found this forum. We do care about you and are here to help.
That's the hard one for me. I do believe it, usually, but it hardly takes any little proof otherwise to blow it all to H-E-double-hockeysticks.
Glad you found this forum. We do care about you and are here to help.
7
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: MN
Posts: 40
Im so glad to see I was not the only one that I think their anxiety went hand & hand with the drink. Yesterday was one of the 1st days that I left the house & went grocery shopping & didn't feel overwhelmed or anxiety.
Im hoping it gets better every day.
Heres to day 11 for us!
Im hoping it gets better every day.
Heres to day 11 for us!
way to go guyshypercube
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 306
One big thing we discussed was the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and actions. When I "go off the rails", often times my thoughts feed into my feelings, which in turn create my actions. I'm thinking many of you can relate. What my therapist tells me is that I need to work the loop in reverse...let good actions improve my mood, and therefore my everyday thoughts.
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