Beligerent

So here I am 4 days sober after getting my first DWI Saturday night. I hired a lawyer on Monday and swore to my wife this would never happen to me again. I decided to really quit drinking this time. I mean really. No BS. I'm probably going to lose my job as a result of not being able to drive. This is probably the biggest test my life has ever seen. Ive had a headache for 3 days from the alcohol withdrawal and the stress.

WantToHeal

Hi Beligerent, I responded to your post the other night about DUI penalties. As you can probably tell, I've been in the same situation myself. I don't know what to tell you about your job situation, other than to say I know you're probably in a pretty low place right now.

But you can use this situation to better your life, if you want to. With a supportive wife and a young son, it sounds like you have a lot to live for!

Have you talked to your lawyer about entering a treatment program before you go to trial? It seems to me this might serve two purposes: get you some support early on in your recovery, and serve as a mitigating factor with the judge.

Be well!

ElizabethFord

Justin;

Do you think you are being funny right now? It's really not appropriate talk for a forum dedicated to getting back on the right track. And drinking martinis is not it!

Get a life loser!

PrimalScream

Wow...sorry a couple of people seem to be bent on hijacking your thread Beligerent, but you have 4 days sober (I'm on day 7 myself)...keep up the good work. Sorry about the DUI and the possible job loss but you can come out of this situation...people have come out of much worse. Stick close to this forum, it really helps.

ElegantlyWasted

Liz and Justin. Have been hanging out here for about a month and have noticed a few things. Humor and self parody; if that is the place Justin is comming from, is actually a self defense mechanism. Sort of like laughing at death because it is too frightening to process on an emotional level. And those who initiate and maintain petty arguements don't seem to last too long in sobriety. To me; this is a place to be honest, learn and figure out a way to live a quality meaningful life without using. I try not to judge; just learn from others who have been generous to post here. Just my take. I
make a real effort to understand those posters who have a lot o posts and a good amount of sobriety. Humbly on day 50 this time.

ElizabethFord

Elegantly wasted, please do not presume to know me because you have been here longer. I wasn't provoking an argument. I can see that the person who started this thread wanted it to be taken seriously. And this guy is making a joke out of it.

Also, don't call me liz. My ***** of mother called me Liz and she is the reason my life is in shambles.

ElegantlyWasted

Just notice referenced thread was eliminated. Oh well... On topic deal with your DUI as best you can. I have one. And move on this is a great site. Ignore the drama mongerers.

ElegantlyWasted

Ford, what have you done to be constructive in relating to others? You seem a little sensitive??? Best of luck to you. Just an observation. Try not to personaliz. All things considered you seem to be baiting an a mod is likely to kil this thread.

smacked

Beligerent, welcome. Sorry your thread was instantly hijacked, it was rude... but it happens.

Congrats on your 4 days, despite what is being shown HERE, this IS a very helpful and supportive forum, usually.

For those of you who want to fight like kids in a sandbox, maybe consider taking it to a private message and away from folks coming here as newcomers seeking support... just a thought.

UniversesChild

To belligerent: I am on day 7 also, having gotten a DUI myself two months ago. I totally feel where you are right now, as I spent the better part of a month and a half drinking by myself at home after the DUI. It was my lawyer who suggested going to AA. Please read my initial post right above yours.

Trust me on this: Either get yourself into a treatment program, and/or get to an AA meeting as soon as you can. I promise you, you will feel better. The people there won't judge you, as they've all been there too. You'll get good advice, and if you're like me, you'll think hard and long about not drinking anymore. It seems like the end of the world (I know), but it's not, and you'll get through this. Things will get better.

I cannot suggest this strongly enough: Go to as many meetings as you can before your sentencing, keep a list of each meeting you go to, and have the moderator at each meeting sign each line on the list to prove you were there. Doing so will very likely make a difference in your court outcome. If you haven't had a DUI before, you will likely get "diversion", and then it won't even go on your record. (Just don't do what I did in diversion and keep drinking anyway, just stopping in time to pass urinalysis tests.)

Going to AA will give you a better understanding of where you are in your drinking (how far along in terms of addiction). This could very well save your life, and/or the lives of others.

I know this is hard, probably about the hardest thing you've ever faced. But you will get through it. You probably feel a lot of shame and humiliation, and I know it's just awful. But you CAN turn this around into a positive. I'm betting your wife and son will admire you more than you can even imagine if you do this for yourself. You'll only know if you try. You've tried drinking, and you know the result. Try the opposite, and watch what happens.

Best of luck to you and your family. And keep coming back!

Dee74

Congrats on your 4 days Beligerent

D

Paul993

Glad that you have come back here for support ! I also replied to your DUI post with some experience in NH (Dec-2008 first and LAST DUI - since I have not had a drop since). YOU CAN DO IT !

Forums here are good, but I recommend AA meetings - it is great to be welcomed and supported and realize that you can have a great life without the alcohol. OK, don't worry about that yet - just do one day at a time and address the important legal and family stuff.

Do you actually drive for work ? or is it an issue just getting to/from work ? You might be amazed at what kind of support from friends you'll get while you are without license. I assume you've got the 30-day temporary right to drive while your case goes to court, etc ?

Best wishes !

tallcactus

((Beligerent)) said, "This is probably the biggest test my life has ever seen."
Having been arrested and in jail, I have 2 say that this was the BEST thing 2 have ever happened 2 me.
I promise that U will say this 2 down the road a year or 2.
Better things R coming 4 U, if U remain sober.
Look on this as an learning experience.
Stay strong, lean on yr support system.

Tazman53

Welcome to SR Beligerent, you have gotten some darn good suggestions so far.

Speaking from a strictly legal point of view either going into some sort of treatment or going to a bunch of AA meetings will score you some points in court, depending upon the judge and the state it may score big or not that big, but it sure will be a plus no matter what.

Now from a recovery stand point, AA was what saved my butt along that lines, I tried to control/stop drinking for a lot of years until I reached the point where I had to drink, I drank when I did not want to drink.

A lot of alcoholics have a very difficult or impossible task in front of them trying to stop drinking alone with out a program, most recovering alcoholics use some sort of program/support system in order to stop drinking and stay stopped. There are quite a few different programs around, it sure would not decrease your chances of staying sober by using one.

PurpleCat

Welcome Beligerent! I wish you luck in your journey. I don't know what happened with the hijacking (fortunately those posts are gone), but I have found lots of support here. Please join us in the September thread. All of us there stopped drinking this month (I'm on day 10 myself).