MrOsaka

The reason they say 90 meetings in 90 days is to form and ingrain a new habit into our daily lives. The point of it is to actually replace the "using" with another life activity.

I've been to over 50 but meetings didn't do it for me. Too much talk about alcohol. They were like a trigger. I wanted to drink every time I left one. However, I highly recommend them for everyone who is trying to quit using. The system is solid and there is a lot of useful information to be had.

That being said without going to meetings, my biggest obstacle to staying sober was figuring out..."What do I do if I don't use?".:wtf2

My journey to this point started About 5 years ago when I started marking an X on my calendar for everyday I was sober and a D for everyday I took a drink. I did that off and on for a few years and I noticed that I would be able to string out more X marks from time to time and I would shorten the amount of D marks. It went from 4 X marks in a row. *relapse period 5 D marks* To 6 X marks. *relapse period 4 D marks* To 12 X marks. *relapse period* To 14. *relapse period* To 28. *relapse period* To 40. *relapse period* and so on with different combinations in between. Before I stopped this time, I was consistently not drinking for more than 2 days in a row.

Each time I found a period of sobriety I would make some adjustments to my lifestyle and after I relapsed I would try to implement them again. In other words, I would fall down but I would get back up, and my legs got a bit stronger each time I started on my way again.

Then last year after my second divorce I started with taking a 5 minute walk near my house every day, rain or shine, hung over or not, so I could pray and give thanks for being alive. That turned into going there by the same time every morning hung over or not. Which has become going there everyday by the same time every morning completely sober. It has been a process played out over time.

After that I started replacing my "club girls" with "sober girls" even if I was still drinking. Then, "Drunk night sex" with "half sober-day after sex", and then "completely sober sex" which was a real challenge at first. This led to a relationship with a non-user, which makes a huge difference for me in staying sober over the long haul.

I also replaced listening to my favorite music (too many using memories) with watching documentaries about musicians and other things that spark my interest. No movies about parties and won't even consider going to a bar or even a concert. I watch fun movies with a positive message, mindless action, or intelligent drama. I try to avoid films about disfunctional alcoholics with family problems, films with depressing themes, and so on...

Now I am at 49 X marks. 90 days of repeating the same activity is what ingrains the habit into our subconscious mind and gives us a new habit. Over halfway there and I can feel it. The cravings are not there.

I know I'm a newbie at 7 weeks but I have been thru the rollercoaster ride of stopping and fighting the urges to do the same things. This doesn't seem to be the same ole' S***. All of the adjustments seem to be giving me a new lifestyle, not just a "no drinking" way of life. This time I feel like I'm on solid ground and moving forward, instead of fighting not to go backwards. This time I feel less fear. This time I feel like it is real.

I am by no means a recommending this method. Just wanted to share and thanks for letting me do that. If some of you guys with quality sober time could give me some feedback about this post and let me know if you believe I am deluding myself, I would really appreciate it.

Have a blessed day.

Some INFO about forming new habits: http://www.eruptingmind.com/forming-...-successfully/

tallcactus

Wonderful post.
Congradulations on your 49 days.
I 2 have and still use a calander, have 4 5+ years. I'm a list maker and it feels good to cross something off. I also like the visual and keeping track. Type 'A' personally here.
Stay strong.

tommyk

"I've been to over 50 but meetings didn't do it for me. Too much talk about alcohol. They were like a trigger."

My own opinion is that talking about drinking and listening to others talk about drinking is important.

My own opinion is that it is unrealistic to believe one can shield themselves from the subject of drinking, and/or the availability of alcohol, in society.

You also mentioned music as a trigger. At some point you are going to hear music and/or speech about alcohol, be prepared. I believe AA prepares people for exactly that.

To each their own - do what works.

But if you should need more help don't hesitate to use the good people in AA, most of whom are just like you.

I don't think meetings "do it" for anyone, each person has got to "do it" at the meetings, and after.

Congrats on the 7 weeks, keep coming back.

thirtybubba

Hmmm.

Osaka, congrats again on the 7 weeks, and if this all is working for you...



Incidentally, I had noticed that about AA meetings--sometimes the talk about drinking seemed to be people one-upping each other with war stories. Never knew how to feel about that--I have gone home and drank after and I have gone home and not drank--but you made a valid point, I think, Tommy, that it's preparation for the real world.

I just always figured at an AA meeting they would tell you how to go about living sober, not what all they did while drinking--I know that part already.

-TB, mulling that over.

tommyk

Side note - a lot of people talk about their drinking at meetings to get it off their chest, and, to actually admit they did 'those things' while they were drinking. They admit it to themselves, and to others. Some of these 'admission' are accompanied by tears, they are the first time the person has spoken about and/or acknowleged the event(s) ever, and can be quite healing to the person.

MrOsaka

"My own opinion is that talking about drinking and listening to others talk about drinking is important."

"My own opinion is that it is unrealistic to believe one can shield themselves from the subject of drinking, and/or the availability of alcohol, in society."

Hey TommyK...Thanks for the feedback. I agree with you completely...We have to confront and discuss our experiences as well as admitting to the things that we have done to ourselves and others...

I am in no way saying that AA or talking about drinking are negative things...Was just saying that too much discussion about using, in the beginning stages of my sobriety, tended to be a trigger. It brought up my using memories when I was weak and vulnerable. Caused me a lotta stress. I thought saying it may be of help to someone who views this post and felt the same way.

Now I can discuss the topic with a bit more comfort, but I won't be trying to discuss the topic with a sexy model who uses, anytime soon. Might cause me to relapse.

When I said I stopped listening to music...I meant that I am not listening to tunes that trigger past emotions during this beginning 90 day period. Music is everywhere...Movies, TV, restaurants, etc. Can't escape it...nor do I want to. Currently, I listen to some classical piano music sometimes or jazz from time to time, which I listened to while I was sober. Trying to build new habits.

I have literally not been around alcohol at all for the past 7 weeks. I realize that my situation is probably unique and if so I feel blessed for that.

Thanks for letting me share.