Wantthatfeeling

Just trying to find out if this is normal...I am feeling more ANGER and RAGE than I have in a VERY VERY long time and, in fact, just went off on someome is a way that was pretty unacceptable. I feel like people are going to want me to start drinking again.

Any thoughts on this?

Aysha

I dont know about drinking. But I had alot of Rage in early recovery. But I found out I have had that rage all along. Just got toned down by using drugs. Couldnt feel much of anything high.
It took me some work and awareness of it to get it under control.
I think it is pretty normal in early recovery. But it does get better with some work.

Wantthatfeeling

Thanks Aysha. It is good to know I am not alone. I appreciate it.

Anna

Oh yes, I felt a LOT of anger too.

In fact, it turned out that a lot of the anger was towards myself for allowing myself to get into the mess that I had. So, I had to learn how to deal with the anger and I had to learn how to begin to forgive myself.

Maybe you could try journalling to get your feelings out, and exercise always helps a lot.

KenL

Same with me. I felt it too and I would go off on my innocent little kids. Feeling like a complete dweeb about it I of course always apologized for being that way. Fortunately, I have very forgiving children. I think it's important to feel that anger and learn from it but perhaps get away from others who may not benefit from it at the time. I don't think that most of us are naturally angry people. I firmly believe that it has to do with our condition (alcoholic) and perhaps our constitution (well-being). I have come to see that when I am of anger it is because I am not understanding or taking the time to learn from my condition and/or constitution and to do something about it. There is no easy answer and the journey is long. I wish you luck.

keithj

You wouldn't be the first. For many alcoholics, simply not drinking is a miserable experience. Almost as bad as drinking.

What are you willing to do in order to recover from that anger, that manifestation of self? I had to do much more than not drink.

jamdls

The consensus is you're normal. I was so greatful that I lived alone when I stopped drinking because I was not a nice person! I remember wanting to run people off the road and if I even saw people drinking on tv I wanted to punch them out and I've always been a very calm person.

Wantthatfeeling

Oh! Thanks so much! I actually just spoke to my boss, who is also one of my best friends and an incredibly intellgient woman about it. And I think I am going to go to her pshychiatrist to talk to him about the meds thart I am on. I am doing AA and I am still feeling "off". I watched some of the supplemental footage yesterday to documentary on alcoholism and realized that even without the alcohol my "other" issues. which for me include a VERY high level of anixety are still here and need to be dealt with. I have not seen a psychiatrist in a while (like many years) and had been seeing a nurse practioner but I just think my meds are not working. I had two panic attacks this weekend that I previously would have dealt with with alcohol. Now it is just me and the anxiety.

Thanks so much for your responses. I am glad I am not alone.