mystarisfading

hello, my name is star. i am 21, a senior at a college in pittsburgh. i am not the most open person so i figured id post on here to vent and be honest since i am new to the site. i have managed to surround myself with drug addicts/alcoholics for my entire life. my mother started drinking after my parents seperated and she married an alcoholic. my grandmother is a closet alcoholic. my first boyfriend was addicted to heroin. my ex loved coke. i started drinking and smoking weed when i was 13 and that continued through high school. as i went through school i watched numerous friends of mine get hooked, overdose, fall off the face of the earth. i managed to still party but not drown myself with addiction. i started going to meetings with my best friend who started doing heroin as a young teen. i told him i didnt need to go, that i wasnt an addict, that i just drank, smoked weed, and the occasional bag of coke. in december i turned 21 and broke up with my long term boyfriend, the one who loves cocaine. in january i met this guy who i became good friends with who was a recovering addict. he went through open heart surgery and was hospitalized the year before because of drugs. he had been an extreme addict out of control. he has fake valves in his heart now and takes daily medication to keep his heart beat down. we started exclusively dating in the spring and he started taking percocets once a week and was getting high. he confessed to me that he relapsed and had done bags and bags of heroin and that he felt extremely guilty. i know this guy needs help but he doesnt have health insurance. he takes suboxine daily and every couple weeks i catch him high on pills. he constantly makes excuses and is very shady with me. i have reached out to his family and friends about his issue but i still need to come to grips with my own? i am looking forward to reading other posts from members of this site and learning some things.

peace, love, and happiness.
star.

Aysha

I think you said it right there. Focus on your own "problems".
When it comes to addiciton of any kind. There is nothing you can do for anyone but yourself.
Welcome and I hope you put some effort into your own issues.

tallcactus

((mystarisfading))
Please get yourself some help now, before U start to experience some problems of your own. Yes, your star is fading, do U want it to become burned out??
Hey, I did not even start to have a problem till my thirties, my DOC was always alcohol; U have so much in the future to look forward 2.
Be supportive 2 your boyfriend and his family, but take a step back, work on U.
Stay strong, get help now...The future is our 'young ones.'