wildflower9110

I found this site last year but didn't join til now. Ever since my dad passed, I have been drinking way too much. I keep telling myself, it's only wine, not like it's whiskey or vodka. but it is getting in the way of everything else in my life. I just want to go home, and drown everything.

I am embarrassed to tell anyone in my family, or any of my friends. What is the first step to getting help?

I didn't ever expect to find myself in this spot.

Kjell

Hi Wildflower-

I'm probably the last person to offer advice (I'm still struggling). I've found AA and really like it. Again, I'm just starting out, but admiting there is a problem is the first step, regardless of how you decide to combat this problem.

Let's do this together! Keep posting.

ANGELINA243

The first step to getting help is admitting that you have a problem--which you have already done. Second thing to do--reach out/ask for help---which you have also done. Congrats! This place--these people here are amazing! I don't know how much you have been drinking--or for how long...but seeing a DR is a good place to start. Also, there are programs out there--such as AA (for example) that have helped many people. You could also check that out or some other recovery based group for support. Also--keep posting/reading here too. You don't have to go through this alone. Welcome! Glad you are here.

OZboy

..hey you jumped on a computer and found your way here...

..thats the 1st step..lol..Oz..

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community....

According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control...
it makes no difference if you drink only beer or
wine or liquor. Or if you switch around.

They all are a toxic liquid and will damage your
brain and body....this is true for all drinkers
not just alcoholics.

Sorry to see your Dad passed last year....

Dee74

hi wildflower - I think everyone has it right - the first step is reaching out.
This is a great site - read around, post as much as you want to....we're here to help

Welcome to SR!
D

coffeenut

Welcome to SR. I think you've made that first step...realizing you have a problem.

Please hang around....and post!

cptspalding

Hi wildflower

Sorry to hear about your dad.

You've found this site which is a good place to start. Dee has pretty much summed it all up, hope you get the help your looking for.

Keep posting and good luck

Horselover

Welcome to SR and I am so very sorry to hear about your dad's passing. That is a hard thing to deal with, but I can tell you that it is even harder when you are drinking to deal with it. I tried to drink and deal with things and I only got more depressed and more upset. I am so glad you reached out here. Please continue to post. SR is very helpful, but don't hesitate to seek out face to face groups too. Also do consult a doctor if you need to. Withdrawals can be dangerous.

Wolfchild

Hello and welcome to the Sober Recovery community.

SCRedhead

Welcome wildflower!
Sorry to hear about your loss. I am glad you posted and hope you are reading all the threads of kind support and honest caring. When I finally admitted I might have a problem I opened the door to recovery. I researched, read, listened to advice, and was finally honest with myself. That began my awesome trip to sobriety. I remember a time when I did not think I could go an entire week without alcohol ~ I will celebrate six months sober on the 22nd and I honestly have not felt this wonderful in 20+ years! Really. I had no idea what life without drugs and alcohol would be like, but God I am glad I finally found out. I can not explain how wonderful I feel (physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally) now that I am sober. Just try it - if for no other reason than to say you did. I bet you will be amazed like I am. Anyway, keep posting and know we are here for you and we care.

NewBeginning010

Hi WF, so sorry to hear about your Dad.. my thoughts & prayers are with you. My Father is my best friend & the person who I am closest to in this world, I fear the day I lose him.

All I can tell you that he is in a better place with family/friends & loved ones, he has a place reserved for you when your time comes along (sorry if I went too deep, I get where you are coming from).

So happy to have you here on SR, this is my second family here, we all understand where you are coming from & are here for you. Please keep on posting & sharing with us.

All of the best.

NB

smacked

A lot of my drinking buddies were "just wine" drinkers.. what's funny to me, is that even being a hard liquor (and anything else) drinker, I usually always avoided wine because it got me too drunk, too fast, and made me black out every time I drank it. Weird huh?

Welcome, glad you're here.

Tazman53

Welcome to SR wildflower, my condolances on your father passing.

Well you took the very first step as already stated. Here is the first version of what I did.

1. Realized that I had a problem.
2. Saw a doctor who suggested detox.
3. Went to detox where they suggested AA.
4. Went to AA, asked for help and got it.

Take it one step and one day at a time, in reality all we really have is the day we are in, when things get real tough just stick with the moment.

You are not alone in this!

jamdls

Hi Wildflower. Congratulations on realizing you have a problem and wanting to change. I drank 'just wine' for many years, I didn't have a problem I was just a wino...got to the point that pretty much the only thing in my body was wine because I didn't bother to eat and it eventually nearly killed me.
Sorry about your loss, in the past 2 yrs my dad has become my best friend and my biggest supporter and I fear his passing (he's almost 87!). 5 months into my sobriety my mom passed away, my family thought it would be an excuse for me to relapse; I did not, if anything her passing made my resolve stronger because I knew I'd been a neglegent daughter and a cause of worry to her, I could not change the past but I choose to honor her memory in 1 way by staying sober and being the person she always knew I could be.

bananagrrrl

Hey Wildflower, I am sorry for the loss of your Dad.

As everyone said, you have made the first step...

Sikkisirus

Sorry to hear about the loss of your dad xx

wildflower9110

Wow. I am so grateful for all the replies I got. I am so miserable right now...I KNOW this is not the right path. I didn't say in my first message, but my dad was an alcoholic, and so was my mother. They both stopped drinking, thank goodness. She drank gin, he drank whiskey. He stopped about 10 years ago, when his doctor told him he would DIE if he didn't quit. After he passed, the days after, I just could not get through it. I simply couldn't deal with the visitations, the funeral, etc. That's where it started. Before that, all I ever drank was a Mike's hard lemonade, once a month, if that! I thought, there is no way I'll continue this, I would never dishonor my dad that way. But then I found myself wanting to cover up the grief...and falling into this pit. I am too ashamed to talk about it with my family or friends. I never wanted to go down this road. I'm not sure what to do next. I keep telling myself, tonight is the last night! no more after tonight! But I always find a reason. It is costing me financially and physically. I hope to learn a lot from this site!

Thanks to all of you.

Emily2002

I found myself drinking more and more after my mom passed (7 years ago) and kept plugging along, raising four young children. I was functioning, but barely. I finally talked to someone -- a therapist -- who told me she thought I was seriously clinically depressed.

I told her no -- I couldn't be, since I was still actively volunteering, running the household, running the kids around, etc. Turns out I was depressed, and it wasn't until I'd started an antidepressant that I finally realized it.

Have you thought about talking to someone about your grief?

OZboy

..step 2..
..make a plan..if you don't know how to...

..doesn't matter..
..we'll always be here.....lol...Oz