jamdls

Hi Julia, welcome to SR. Am I an alcoholic? I asked myself that question for many many years, I even asked my psychiatrist 10 yrs ago and she said "no, you drink to self medicate". Many people including recovering alcoholics do not consider me an alcholic, but did I have a drinking problem? you betcha! I did not drink every day, I only drank wine, Once in a while I was capable of having just 1-2 glasses of wine (rarely) generally when I drank I drank until I passed out, I was a black-out drunk, when I drank I became a person that I am and was ashamed of, I did things and said things that the sober me (even at the time) found deplorable/immoral/shameful/disgusting/etc; I had horrendous hangovers that lasted 2 days (which is why I didn't drink every day); but yet a day or 2 later I'd do it all over again. Drinking drove me deeper and deeper into depression. By the grace of God I finally woke up from a 12 yr nightmare and accepted the fact that I just couldn't drink not even 1 drop; and through information available from groups like AA, working my version of the 12 steps, prayer lots of prayer I have been sober for 2 yrs-love life-and intend to live sober for the rest of my life.