It’s like I can't control myself
almost like I don't know what I am doing
but at the same time feel one hundred percent responsible
The guilt it ravages me and it tears me apart
I feel disgusting and I don't like myself
In public I don't like being myself
I put on another person and pretend to be someone else
somebody that I am not
in a world of fake I fit in perfectly
I belong somewhere far from here and my assistants help take me there
they gives me the strength to go on another day and
to get up tomorrow
I hope that they will let me live in peace
but some days I am not sure if they will
Sometimes I just want to sink down and slip away
just dream for forever and live eternity in a world that is soft comfy and
allows me to start from scratch and to be someone new
I wish that I could just change and be someone new
a different person
something far away from what I am
I want to go back and change everything and
do more than just exist
I want to be happy and
I don't know if can be
I doubt I can take this much longer
I want to just disappear of off the face of this planet
I want to fall asleep forever and
always be in a deep slumber
on clouds
Oh sweet serenity
the sweet taste of perfection
what I would give to taste the life that is wholesome and
has reason
Oh what I would give to be an angel in
the eyes of those who want to trust me and
the ones whom depend on I and
I on them
I can't sleep
I am continuously thinking
wondering why I don't get better
and wondering why
when I want to I don't get better
I continue on every day feeling like a piece of ****
I feel like throwing up
I want to but for some reason cannot bring myself to
maybe I care about myself too much
I just want to eat food and
to drink
I want to feel full not empty
I want to feel whole
I try
I try I try I try
but nobody seems to notice
the small things
nobody cares
The things that matter
it means nothing
they pass by
like another second in a day
they go unnoticed
Stuck in reverse
but going full speed
fast-forwarding