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Why not?

Old 08-31-2009, 08:35 PM
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Why not?

Been wearing myself down, working day and night trying to let "me" think it's ok?!?!?!
Trying to convince myself, somehow, someway it's ok to allow myself to drink again?!?

I know what this is...I know what I'm doing/thinking....
I am aware of what my thought process is doing...or trying to do.......I again am my own downfall....or at least my enemy...at becoming the downfall....

I DO NOT AGREE...but how can I stop these thoughts?

I feel strong, I feel good, proud......but this constant fight is starting to tire me.....wft......i need relief....
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Old 08-31-2009, 08:39 PM
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Why not? Because drinking never improved any situation. It takes more than abstinence, but that's a good place to start.
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Old 08-31-2009, 08:55 PM
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I guess all you really have to do is think about the quote you have. It says a lot about how we can deal with the present situation before us. In your case you want to stop thinking about drinking. I suppose it would be a good thing to do what the quote says and really contemplate. Contemplate why you are thinking about drinking. I know that lingering mind set is hard to beat but I think it's too much to say you are your own downfall. Whenever I think those thoughts it makes me feel like I have a reason to drink. But you did say you are proud, strong and feel good. You may want to consider adding courageous to that list. It seems like a battle, I agree, but in reality it's a way of life we have to get used to.
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by jade09 View Post
I DO NOT AGREE...but how can I stop these thoughts?
You might not be able to stop them. The best you can do sometimes is recognize them as crazy and ignore them to the best of your ability. I do not reason with them because I deign them as crazy. If I find myself indulging these thoughts, like saying back to them, oh, it would be ok to drink, you weren't that bad, maybe you weren't a real alcoholic, I just say to myself, NOT A REAL THOUGHT, IGNORE, and I wait. I just kind of watch them like they are a little crazy fantastical child throwing a tantrum in my mind that will go away after a while. And they do go away after a while. It is like waiting out a storm. For me I have had it last an hour to as long as two weeks.

I don't know if that is the best way to deal but it is what I do. And unfortunately I had to do it this weekend at 11 months sober, after about 5 months of no cravings or crazy thoughts whatsoever. I found myself waiting out cravings this weekend. Yep, addiction is crazy and can come out of the woodwork at crazy times.

A thing you might want to check out is urge surfing (basically dealing with urges using mindfulness), I think what I do is a version of it, and other people can probably explain it much better than me:

Mindfulness

If that website is unhelpful you can always put it into google. Good Luck. It really does get way easier.
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:11 PM
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Thank you KenL...truth.........thank you
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:13 PM
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Thank god for second thoughts, just being able to rationalize those thoughts is a miracle. Before we would act on instinct when we had thoughts to drink, we would pick up as soon as our mind said "i need a drink". That is major progress, keep it up Jade
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:15 PM
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"The best you can do sometimes is recognize them as crazy and ignore them to the best of your ability. I do not reason with them because I deign them as crazy. If I find myself indulging these thoughts, like saying back to them, oh, it would be ok to drink, you weren't that bad, maybe you weren't a real alcoholic, I just say to myself, NOT A REAL THOUGHT, IGNORE, and I wait. I just kind of watch them like they are a little crazy fantastical child throwing a tantrum in my mind that will go away after a while. And they do go away after a while. It is like waiting out a storm. For me I have had it last an hour to as long as two weeks". sfgirl
Sorry it was a bad wkend, but thank you for sharing......helped me...good luck...hope this will be a better week
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:22 PM
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It is rough man, I usually kick the hell out of myself at the gym before anything anyway. I can make my body so tired that it can hardly move, and i love it, the working out and the pushing of limits. But my mind is always racing, moving, i can never tire my mind out and it drives me nuts. I understand, i am going through this also. I am up and down regarding when and what I want to say, emotional and a mess at times. I guess we all are time and time again. At least we can bridge eachother across together. I can not believe how weak I can be and how weak we all are when drinking is involved. What did a bottle of anything do to help us, nothing until now.
One love.
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:38 PM
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True

Why can't I stay true
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:39 PM
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oh another thing— eat ice cream
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:45 PM
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Wink

..what if it's your 'destiny'..
..heck!..i don't even know why i'm here..or you?

..it is good...however..just to talk about it..lol..Oz..

.but i do agree,maybe you too?
..it is good to be 'sober'..even if it's a struggle..
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:48 PM
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how can i stick out my tounge and kick u in the ass?
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:49 PM
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if it was that easy......i am.....or have been struggling for a long time.......I REALLY WANT THIS TO END
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:50 PM
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I really want this to end
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:54 PM
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Smile

...wow..

jade..come on down..
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:55 PM
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..can i help ?
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:59 PM
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thanks OZ.....what u know about loving the family too much, hating oneself too much, and way too high expectations for oneself?
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Old 08-31-2009, 10:03 PM
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Hi Jade

I started to make inroads when I realised just cos I felt like drinking didn't mean I had to - feeling like drinking is natural for us - my mind and body were attuned to regular alcohol intake - I'd drink over anything - no excuse too small.

The thing is - if nothing changes - then nothing will change.

Every time you allow yourself to drink you're just letting the madness get a tighter hold on you, and it makes it that much more difficult next time.

Not acting on those thoughts was the hardest thing I ever did - but I did it

Not because I was strong or because my willpower was incredible - but because I wanted a better life, and I trusted the people here who told me my life would be better if I hung in there and didn't drink.

They promised me all this pain would be worth it - and they were right.

All any of us have to do, right at the heart of it, is not pick up that drink today.

There's a ton of support around - we're all here to help, and support and advise you - and there's many many face to face programmes out there.

If you've got the desire to quit, you can, Jade.
I can show you a hundred people here to prove it

D
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Old 08-31-2009, 10:11 PM
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BIG HEART

"The thing is - if nothing changes - then nothing will change."



HEY-----someone said that-------gatta go back and ck-----but it stuck----
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Old 08-31-2009, 10:13 PM
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thanks
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