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I can hear the bar calling

Old 08-31-2009, 10:42 AM
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I can hear the bar calling

I didn't do too badly yesterday and ended up watching the LLWS at my local bar where I had 3 beers. I came home and was tired as I overdid it on Saturday and fell asleep. I had a 4 more coors lites through the rest of the day and don't feel too bad this morning. However, I can feel the bar calling me where my bros will be ready to watch some football. I am in the process of selling my house back east and have a buyer lined up and finally my wife will be able to join me. I just don't feel like I have a lot of quality in my life right now. I just pass the days alone, not doing much of anything, and waiting for life to begin again. I am very successful but do binge on the weekends. I was thinking of trying to quit until I go on a cruise later in September, but I want to be able to manage myself like I do during the week. I don't have any rules for drinking or anything like that. I do feel rather empty but I attribute that to my less than ideal living situation. Alcohol does occupy a lot of my time when I am not working. I don't overdo it during the week but do so on the weekends. I am pretty active and should have more rewarding things going on, but I don't at present. Any advice?
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Old 08-31-2009, 10:48 AM
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For me it's either all or nothing, I can't "only drink on the weekends" or "not overdo it" or put it off until after a certain date. I tried that for years, and know it was the disease lying to me.

I was really successful, thought I functioned highly, but eventually my life started to fall apart faster and faster, sorta like jumping off a tall building and watching the ground rush at me.

It took awhile, but gradually I started to fill my time with the things I used to enjoy doing, and with new activities I've discovered as a result of my sobriety. My life is so full I barely have time to breathe, but I wouldn't trade this life for anything.
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:01 AM
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As long as you're drinking, alcohol will dominate your life.

I think if you stop drinking, you will begin to find other activities to keep you occupied. When I was drinking, I couldn't imagine doing much else. I have discovered that there are so many things I like to do.
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:04 AM
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I made a lot of excuses to keep drinking.. until I decided to change my life. I wasn't ready to do that for a very long time.

If you don't find you have a problem now, then you don't. Are you looking for advice on how to quit til September (Sept 1st is tomorrow... so I'm thinking you're trying to quit for around 2 weeks??)? Don't buy liquor or go to the bar. I know that sounds silly.. but abstinence is the easy part. Living sober is entirely different and much more difficult, but it sounds like that's not what you're interested in.

Good luck!
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:12 AM
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I agree with everyone. Even though you may not be drinking during the week or right at the moment it's obviously still occupying a place in your mind if your quality of life is poor. So I think you have it backwards, you don't have anything going on in your life because the alcohol has made you feel empty. I used to think it was the other way around too but that's a lie the booze tells you.
Good luck and know that there are a BUNCH of people here who know exactly what you are going through and are more than willing to listen and help.
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:18 AM
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Oh football season was another great excuse to keep getting drunk for me, too! Course, so was a hard day at work, boredom, happiness, sadness, nice weather, terrible weather..

Your post really reminds me about how happy I am that alcohol no longer consumes my thoughts or my life like that. I know you're undecided if you have a problem, or if you want to quit.. and hopefully you make the best decisions about that for yourself... but that was a very clear reminder to me about how much thinking and planning I too used to do when it came to drinking.
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:29 AM
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my grandfather used to say ... if you cant stop at one then best have none

as a young man i used to see him battle drink he would go for months not drinking then fall off the wagon in spectacular style

he would hit the drink hard for a week then go fighting the drink again ,after every drinking session the self loathing and depression would hit him

almost like clockwork after 6 weeks or so he would feel great again then blow it all over again

i cant moderate my drinking if i had a few pints then i would probably go back to being a drunken mess

so granded from beyond the grave your words of wisdom are helping me stay sober ..thanks
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted by JerryBear2009 View Post
I don't have any rules for drinking or anything like that. I do feel rather empty but I attribute that to my less than ideal living situation. Alcohol does occupy a lot of my time when I am not working. I don't overdo it during the week but do so on the weekends. I am pretty active and should have more rewarding things going on, but I don't at present. Any advice?
JerryBear, Jealous here. I could not moderate or cut down. It was continue to drink and drown or completely stop and swim to shore.
I know U need to do what is best 4 U, trying different methods and so on. I was so
Good luck and stay strong.
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:44 AM
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Sounds kinda Cheesy but, "Only you can decide if you are an alchy". Sounds as if you are highly functional in most areas of your life... General Grant comes to mind; he seemed to drink mainly out of boredom and went on to become president. If you want to stop, try filling that drinking time with something else that gets you off. I know my pattern is to drink increasingly during times of stress to the point that I self destruct. Ergo I don't drink. I've found that exercise, especially buying a high end road bike and making it an every other day habit, has become an excellent substitute for time spent in a bar or just drinking alone and numbing myself. I look forward to the natural endorphin high and meeting other cyclists (bs ing about bike technology etc). What ever work for you... Best of luck...
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Old 08-31-2009, 12:45 PM
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I have a tendency to outwork everyone around me and then compensate by not moderating like its some internal justification to overdo it because the pendulum went so far in the work spectrum.
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Old 08-31-2009, 01:59 PM
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"I didn't do too badly yesterday and ended up watching the LLWS at my local bar where I had 3 beers."

If your intention was to drink, you did GREAT.

If your intention was NOT to drink, you FAILED.

If your intention is/was drinking in moderation, good luck.

By the way... why is it you are here?

Keep coming back.
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Old 08-31-2009, 02:31 PM
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Love the way TK bottom lines it... "If your intention was NOT to drink, you FAILED"...Yeah? If you want to totally quit and can't; you can find support/ insight here. If you can quit on you own... Great. Get out of it not only what you want, but what you figure out you NEED. You could be like a lot of people (myself included) that Need to fill that void with something else.
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Old 08-31-2009, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by JerryBear2009 View Post
I have a tendency to outwork everyone around me and then compensate by not moderating like its some internal justification to overdo it because the pendulum went so far in the work spectrum.
Rationalization is a symptom of alcoholism.

I am not saying this to p*ss you off. Nor am I saying that to insinuate that you are an alcoholic. However, from my own experience I played the game of moderating and making up excuses and rules and failing at my rules and modifying them for very good reasons and feeling I did "good" as well. You might be different than me. You might not. But it looks like you are playing a similar game. Moderating sucks when sticking to the plan is a struggle, this I know. Abstinence is usually the answer to that. What gets in the way of this is the rationalizing voice which really is the addict voice. It is hard to see. I lived with all of these things solidly for three years. It is exhausting.
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Old 08-31-2009, 02:51 PM
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Oh, you might want to discuss pharmacological interventions for help with harm reduction with your doctor if you are not ready for abstinence.
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Old 08-31-2009, 03:46 PM
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Hi again JB

I can't really add anything to what I said last time, or to what others have said here.

As long as you think you're managing...(and that's the message I'm getting...you're managing, with weekend blowouts as a de-stress and a justified reward for hard work) I'm not sure how we can help...

D
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