when?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 34
when?
I'm entering day three, and no desire for a drink at all, but I know that will soon change. I know that the "better" I feel after a few days, the more I feel like I am fine, I can drink responsibly, no problem..and at times I can, but then BOOM! Complete intoxication/blackout/falling down/ here I come. I know that I am on the right track now with this site in talking about it and it's giving me more strength and resolve in staying away. I was supposed to go away with a friend next wknd but I told her I couldn't (I know if I go I will drink). I'm taking baby steps to ensure I will stay away from alcohol. I also know it has to be a one day at a time endeavor. If I try to look ahead and say I will never drink again that is a recipe for disaster. Day at a time...day at a time.
That brings me to my question to you all. When? When do you start to enjoy a sober life again? When do you feel like sobriety is not mundane? When do you feel like you can live a life and enjoy things and have fun without booze? When do you begin to look forward to things that don't include alcohol? I would love to hear other's experiences regarding this because this is where I fall. I feel better physically and then fear that life will not be good without drinking and cave in and drink again, starting up the cycle once again, letting myself down once again. So, that is my question. When??
That brings me to my question to you all. When? When do you start to enjoy a sober life again? When do you feel like sobriety is not mundane? When do you feel like you can live a life and enjoy things and have fun without booze? When do you begin to look forward to things that don't include alcohol? I would love to hear other's experiences regarding this because this is where I fall. I feel better physically and then fear that life will not be good without drinking and cave in and drink again, starting up the cycle once again, letting myself down once again. So, that is my question. When??
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Hi Ellie! Great question. I have felt that way too, for a long time. That life will not be "fun" without alcohol. I am only on Day5 of my sobriety, so my advice won't carry the weight of the more long term people here, but I can say that I am at the point where I have weighed the pros and cons of drinking. I got to the point in my life where the cons outweigh the pros. And the temporary high that I got from alcohol is not worth the misery that follows. Next time you think you want a drink, try to think of the total picture and not the short time high you are going to get from it.
I have tried to quit many times now, and in my experience, the only way you have any chance of making it work for good is this: once you make your decision to stop drinking, never allow yourself to question it. You made it for a reason, and they were good reasons. Once you start to question, you are in trouble. Stick to your plan and I'm sure the benefits will start to become apparent.
I have tried to quit many times now, and in my experience, the only way you have any chance of making it work for good is this: once you make your decision to stop drinking, never allow yourself to question it. You made it for a reason, and they were good reasons. Once you start to question, you are in trouble. Stick to your plan and I'm sure the benefits will start to become apparent.
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
When i move out of the problem and into the solution.
When i leave behind what i knew to be true and embrace the new.
When i make progress in my recovery instead of settling for total abstinence.
When i surrender my will & my life to God (as i understand him) instead of self willing my life.
i hope that you come to realize that new possibilities exist &
that you don't have to repeat the same mistakes ever again.
When i leave behind what i knew to be true and embrace the new.
When i make progress in my recovery instead of settling for total abstinence.
When i surrender my will & my life to God (as i understand him) instead of self willing my life.
i hope that you come to realize that new possibilities exist &
that you don't have to repeat the same mistakes ever again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 40
The fun you can have with alcohol is just out of the question. The only way I can tolerate living without it is to think of it as an allergy. When I drank for the last time and woke up in the hospital, I told my brother and he said "Why did you drink? You're allergic to it." I haven't forgotten those words. I'm just as bored being quit as I was before I started drinking. It's just the way it has to be. Unfortunately, because we're allergic to alcohol, we don't get to enjoy the benefits of alcohol, the same way people with fish allergies don't get to enjoy seared tuna steaks. It's a bitch but it's reality.
I can think of worse afflictions to have.
Consider all the problems you will not have as you don't drink. I don't have to deal with hangovers. I don't have to worry about smelling like a gin mill at work. I don't spend money on booze. I don't worry about when the liquor store closes. I read books, I have meaningful conversations, I go outside and enjoy nature. I live a life without booze because I'm allergic to it.
I can think of worse afflictions to have.
Consider all the problems you will not have as you don't drink. I don't have to deal with hangovers. I don't have to worry about smelling like a gin mill at work. I don't spend money on booze. I don't worry about when the liquor store closes. I read books, I have meaningful conversations, I go outside and enjoy nature. I live a life without booze because I'm allergic to it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 146
I felt better right away in regards to this. That's because towards the end, I just holed up in my apartment and drank, doing nothing other than drinking, and then recovering the following day/s. So drinking kept me from enjoying activities. Now that I don't drink, I have extra time to do things.
But if you're the type who did things like social activities, barbeques, etc, hang out with friends, etc all while drunk, I can see where there might be a void. best of luck.
But if you're the type who did things like social activities, barbeques, etc, hang out with friends, etc all while drunk, I can see where there might be a void. best of luck.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 46
I really can't pinpoint when the really good feelings started, but I'll tell you, when they do, its a pretty remarkable thing. I guess it really depends on how ready you are to be clean. I know for me, I was absolutely ready to step away from using. There were times in the past where I was intrigued by the idea of sobriety, other times it made sense, other times I wanted the problems to stop but wasn't ready/willing to stop the real problem. This time was really different. I can't exactly say where the motivation came from but it was genuine and I was ready to take action.
I know most people go with the "one day at a time" thing, but I honestly think that when I came to the realization that I needed to quit drinking and using for good, I was able to see the changes that I needed to make to achieve that goal. I could always stay sober for a day. I didn't need to change anything to achieve that. Setting the bottle and pipe down forever, was going to take much more. Some changes were temporary. For a few weeks, I talked to nobody except my wife and my mother. I only left the house for work, school and counseling. Gradually, I could start to peek my head out into the real world. I could see friends again if it was in the right context. I got out to some social events, which sometimes to my dislike, substances were available. It was tough but I had support. I also try not to give my addiction that much power. I have to remind myself that I'm stronger than it and that really, I don't want to use. I hate the feeling after the party is over. If I don't party, I don't have to go through that anguish.
Another thing I try to remember is that alcoholics and drug addicts are really boring to be around when you're sober. What once seemed like a blast, seems really pointless to me now. I like baseball and football. Its cool to actually pay attention to whats going on rather than be constantly preoccupied with getting wasted. Its also cool to just go to a movie or play Scrabble with my wife. A few months ago that would have bored me to death. Life just seems very enjoyable in itself right now, and it gets more so everyday. Sure theres tough days, but now that I can actually deal with my problems instead of running away from them, it feels fantastic. Maybe thats the root of feeling good. I dunno but I'll run with the idea.
I know most people go with the "one day at a time" thing, but I honestly think that when I came to the realization that I needed to quit drinking and using for good, I was able to see the changes that I needed to make to achieve that goal. I could always stay sober for a day. I didn't need to change anything to achieve that. Setting the bottle and pipe down forever, was going to take much more. Some changes were temporary. For a few weeks, I talked to nobody except my wife and my mother. I only left the house for work, school and counseling. Gradually, I could start to peek my head out into the real world. I could see friends again if it was in the right context. I got out to some social events, which sometimes to my dislike, substances were available. It was tough but I had support. I also try not to give my addiction that much power. I have to remind myself that I'm stronger than it and that really, I don't want to use. I hate the feeling after the party is over. If I don't party, I don't have to go through that anguish.
Another thing I try to remember is that alcoholics and drug addicts are really boring to be around when you're sober. What once seemed like a blast, seems really pointless to me now. I like baseball and football. Its cool to actually pay attention to whats going on rather than be constantly preoccupied with getting wasted. Its also cool to just go to a movie or play Scrabble with my wife. A few months ago that would have bored me to death. Life just seems very enjoyable in itself right now, and it gets more so everyday. Sure theres tough days, but now that I can actually deal with my problems instead of running away from them, it feels fantastic. Maybe thats the root of feeling good. I dunno but I'll run with the idea.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I can't pinpoint a date...I just remember people telling me it did get better - if I hung in there and didn't drink - and it did.
It definitely didn't go by my timetable - and sometimes it was hard and I thought I'd never make it - but I trusted the people here, I had faith...and they were right.
People are right tho when they say its more than not drinking - it takes a lot of work for someone like me to relearn how to live live sober - it takes even more work to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin, and how to be happy.
The only way I can describe doing that is...live it. Live life sober - don't be afraid to work hard and you'll grow and learn from dealing with things and people sober, reach out here for support as often as you need, read the books and tips and things that people suggest, stay active, be healthy, and - always - be honest with yourself - take out 'me time' to quietly think about yourself whats going on and where you're headed...
If you do your part Ellie, all will be well
Your part right now is basic - don't drink - all this other stuff is important but it all hinges on that....
Keep it up!
D
It definitely didn't go by my timetable - and sometimes it was hard and I thought I'd never make it - but I trusted the people here, I had faith...and they were right.
People are right tho when they say its more than not drinking - it takes a lot of work for someone like me to relearn how to live live sober - it takes even more work to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin, and how to be happy.
The only way I can describe doing that is...live it. Live life sober - don't be afraid to work hard and you'll grow and learn from dealing with things and people sober, reach out here for support as often as you need, read the books and tips and things that people suggest, stay active, be healthy, and - always - be honest with yourself - take out 'me time' to quietly think about yourself whats going on and where you're headed...
If you do your part Ellie, all will be well
Your part right now is basic - don't drink - all this other stuff is important but it all hinges on that....
Keep it up!
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
For me 1 day after i stopped drinking which was the day i walked into my first AA meeting and actually said i am an alcoholic and i need your help...how do i get a sponsor...working the steps along the way and making new sober friends which meant i changed my lifestyle completely and started to take an interest in the things i had actually always been interested in but had been suppressing with alcohol.
Like people have been telling me for years it really is that simple, didn't listen for nigh on 10 years but that doesn't mean everyone else has to do that?!
Like people have been telling me for years it really is that simple, didn't listen for nigh on 10 years but that doesn't mean everyone else has to do that?!
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