6 months but struggle with feeling "different"
Custom User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SC
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by CarolD 
When it's your turn to order ....here is my experience...
"I'll have a Diet Coke ...make it a double please"
usually gets grins rather than sly glances.
"I'll have a Diet Coke ...make it a double please"
usually gets grins rather than sly glances.
(I'm going to regardless)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
brandonlee81....Welcome to SR and Yes
you are welcome to use anything I share.
I certainly hope you will....
If anyone asks "Why aren't you drinking?"
Try.....
"Getting myself healthier"
thereby making them
you are welcome to use anything I share.
I certainly hope you will....
If anyone asks "Why aren't you drinking?"
Try.....
"Getting myself healthier"
thereby making them
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by sailorjohn
[B][SIZE="7"]
Percent of adults who drank alcohol in the past year: 61% (2006)
Those numbers are from the CDC, do a little extrapolation, IIRC the 'rate' of alcoholism is 10%-someone please jump in to correct me here if I'm wrong-translates into a lot of alcoholics out there, close to 20,000,000?
Percent of adults who drank alcohol in the past year: 61% (2006)
Those numbers are from the CDC, do a little extrapolation, IIRC the 'rate' of alcoholism is 10%-someone please jump in to correct me here if I'm wrong-translates into a lot of alcoholics out there, close to 20,000,000?
IMO as new narcotics come along, as prescription use goes up, as unemployment goes up - so goes addiction.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
That feeling of being different, of separateness, of being on the outside looking in was something I had for as long as I could remember, even as a small child.
I didn't feel like I fit in, and as I got older, that feeling got worse.
Then I discovered alcohol, and it became my social lubricant.
Thank God for AA. The people in those rooms loved me until I could love myself. The 12 steps relieved me of that bondage of self. Working with others has given me far more in my life than I could ever hope to give to them.
I no longer feel separate from the rest of mankind.
I didn't feel like I fit in, and as I got older, that feeling got worse.
Then I discovered alcohol, and it became my social lubricant.
Thank God for AA. The people in those rooms loved me until I could love myself. The 12 steps relieved me of that bondage of self. Working with others has given me far more in my life than I could ever hope to give to them.
I no longer feel separate from the rest of mankind.
Is it hot here or am I crazy?
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Planet Zirchon 9 (which is near Milwaukee, WI.)
Posts: 38
So many good posts here. I will try to refrain from repeating what has already been said.
I also felt awkward at first. However I realized that it was ME who was doing this to myself. Most people are completely unaware of whether I drink or not. In fact, most people could care less because they are only concerned with themselves and their own world. This is not a criticism on humanity - this is just something I learned in business.
When I was a drunk, I thought the entire universe revolved around me and that everyone was watching me. Yes, all about me, me, me. After about a year sober (once my mind had cleared) I gladly embraced that the universe does not revolve around me. I now happily accept the fact that most people aren't paying that much attention to me.
When I am in a social or business setting I don't feel an obligation to explain to other people why I don't drink (that's even if they ask). If I am asked, I usually answer with, "I'm allergic to alcohol." That diffuses further questions. Some people actually become sympathetic to my "allergy." Plus I am not stigmatized as the recovering alcoholic. I normally order seltzer with a twist of lemon. Specifically ask for it in a tumbler - looks like a G&T. I remind myself that nobody really cares or is even paying attention to what I order. I also make sure that I don't count or watch how much other people drink - it's none of my business. Who am I to judge? If someone becomes drunk and annoying, I simply gravitate away from them.
It's nice to feel normal, even while others drink - be it socially or to excess.
I agree that we recovered drunks are very sensitive and attuned to our surroundings. What a special gift to have, isn't it?
Ginger, I wish you strength, personal peace and a drama free life as you continue living sober.
I also felt awkward at first. However I realized that it was ME who was doing this to myself. Most people are completely unaware of whether I drink or not. In fact, most people could care less because they are only concerned with themselves and their own world. This is not a criticism on humanity - this is just something I learned in business.
When I was a drunk, I thought the entire universe revolved around me and that everyone was watching me. Yes, all about me, me, me. After about a year sober (once my mind had cleared) I gladly embraced that the universe does not revolve around me. I now happily accept the fact that most people aren't paying that much attention to me.
When I am in a social or business setting I don't feel an obligation to explain to other people why I don't drink (that's even if they ask). If I am asked, I usually answer with, "I'm allergic to alcohol." That diffuses further questions. Some people actually become sympathetic to my "allergy." Plus I am not stigmatized as the recovering alcoholic. I normally order seltzer with a twist of lemon. Specifically ask for it in a tumbler - looks like a G&T. I remind myself that nobody really cares or is even paying attention to what I order. I also make sure that I don't count or watch how much other people drink - it's none of my business. Who am I to judge? If someone becomes drunk and annoying, I simply gravitate away from them.
It's nice to feel normal, even while others drink - be it socially or to excess.
I agree that we recovered drunks are very sensitive and attuned to our surroundings. What a special gift to have, isn't it?
Ginger, I wish you strength, personal peace and a drama free life as you continue living sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: NY NY
Posts: 37
Thanks to everyone. You guys are amazing. The energy you put into the replies and the thoughtfulness of your answers are so incredibly helpful. I bought a book today, called, "Dry" a memoir by Augusten Burroughs the author of Running with Scissors. Part of my recovery process has been to read about other's journeys. Thus far I have read, "Drinking, A Love Story," and "A Drinking Life."
I'll let you all know about "Dry" from the book jacket it sounds like it will be good.
Someday, maybe I'll be helping others the way others have helped me.
I'll let you all know about "Dry" from the book jacket it sounds like it will be good.
Someday, maybe I'll be helping others the way others have helped me.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Hi, Ginger!
I think the longer I'm sober, the easier it gets. And the more proud I am of feeling different. I'll take that over being a drunk anyday.
Now, when I go to restaurants I notice how many people are NOT drinking....heck, I thought Everbody drank...when I drank. Sure....sometimes I remember ordering a drink, but rarely do I even want one.
I don't do the mocktails, either. I'm a Diet Pepsi girl....wonder if they make those in a double?!
FWIW...being different is okay in my book. A huge congrats on your sober time, too.
I think the longer I'm sober, the easier it gets. And the more proud I am of feeling different. I'll take that over being a drunk anyday.
Now, when I go to restaurants I notice how many people are NOT drinking....heck, I thought Everbody drank...when I drank. Sure....sometimes I remember ordering a drink, but rarely do I even want one.
I don't do the mocktails, either. I'm a Diet Pepsi girl....wonder if they make those in a double?!
FWIW...being different is okay in my book. A huge congrats on your sober time, too.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Well I guess I am a bit slow to reply, but "Dry" is an awesome book & an excellent read of his recovery.
There are some good short stories in the back of the book Alcoholics Anonymous and there are several AA books dedicated just to the stories of other folks who have recovered as well. Then of course there is "Bill's Story" the first chapter of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.
Different...... one of the great gifts that in my early drinking days alcohol allowed me to deal with VERY well.
Today being in recovery and having taken the steps and applying them to my daily life I celebrate being different!
I am an alcoholic which makes me automatically different then according to some studies then 80% of the population.
Now to see that I am even more different, the vast majority of alcoholics never even begin recovery, the majority of alcoholics die from thier alcohlism in one manner or another, of that small percentage of alcholics a darn small percentage of them stay sober for a year or more.
I am different also in the fact that on the 18th of September I will have 3 years sober.
I am also in the minority of those who not only have stayed sober for more then a year, but can also honestly say that the obsession to drink has been lifted and I could care less if I ever had another drink again.
Yes I am different and it feels GOOD!!!!
We are all different, but very few of us are different enough for others to even take a second look at us.
I was at a pro football game and as I was leaving the game I felt as though I was really no different then anyone else leaving the game until I saw a VERY red faced, red eyed gentleman stumbling along mumbling something no one understood as his friends were helping him not fall down....... Now he was different, there were times in my past where I was different like he was as well and that was all thanks to my drinking.
I have been in some nice resteraunts and felt just like any other patron there, then I began to hear a lady talking loudly slurring her speech telling her husband "Maybe I should not have drank that wine before we went out!" Now she was different! I have been in her shoes as well.
Take a look back at when you were drinking, how many times did you give a hoot if some one was not drinking?
When I was drinking I could care less if some one else was drinking as long as I was that was all that mattered to me.
It does get better with time and as we change our selfs to become something different then what we were when we were drinking.
There are some good short stories in the back of the book Alcoholics Anonymous and there are several AA books dedicated just to the stories of other folks who have recovered as well. Then of course there is "Bill's Story" the first chapter of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.
Different...... one of the great gifts that in my early drinking days alcohol allowed me to deal with VERY well.
Today being in recovery and having taken the steps and applying them to my daily life I celebrate being different!
I am an alcoholic which makes me automatically different then according to some studies then 80% of the population.
Now to see that I am even more different, the vast majority of alcoholics never even begin recovery, the majority of alcoholics die from thier alcohlism in one manner or another, of that small percentage of alcholics a darn small percentage of them stay sober for a year or more.
I am different also in the fact that on the 18th of September I will have 3 years sober.
I am also in the minority of those who not only have stayed sober for more then a year, but can also honestly say that the obsession to drink has been lifted and I could care less if I ever had another drink again.
Yes I am different and it feels GOOD!!!!
We are all different, but very few of us are different enough for others to even take a second look at us.
I was at a pro football game and as I was leaving the game I felt as though I was really no different then anyone else leaving the game until I saw a VERY red faced, red eyed gentleman stumbling along mumbling something no one understood as his friends were helping him not fall down....... Now he was different, there were times in my past where I was different like he was as well and that was all thanks to my drinking.
I have been in some nice resteraunts and felt just like any other patron there, then I began to hear a lady talking loudly slurring her speech telling her husband "Maybe I should not have drank that wine before we went out!" Now she was different! I have been in her shoes as well.
Take a look back at when you were drinking, how many times did you give a hoot if some one was not drinking?
When I was drinking I could care less if some one else was drinking as long as I was that was all that mattered to me.
It does get better with time and as we change our selfs to become something different then what we were when we were drinking.
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