New Here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: upstate ny
Posts: 3
New Here
I am 23 yrs old. I got married recently about a month or so ago .
I will have a daughter who is due in two months.
Alcoholism runs in my family, my father was and still is an alcoholic.
I just realized that I have a problem with alcohol about 7 months ago when I came home black out drunk before my wife[my girlfriend at the time] was coming home from work. I went out with my father with the intention of having a couple drinks but it didnt turn out that way.
By the time he dropped me off back at my apartment I was completely trashed and just remember washing some dishes when my girlfriend walked in and tried to act sober by having my back to her and not turning all the way around to greet her. I dont recall anything after that but when I woke up the next morning she told me I could of killed her she said I was washing dishes and dropped a glass and ended up picking up pieces and I pointed a shard of glass and came towards her stumbling forward then I proceeded to have a emotional breakdown screaming and crying punching the wall beside her head.
I just had a relapse after 5 months of sobriety. Last month my mother in-law came to stay with us. We didnt know each other very well and my wife and I and her mother were all under financial stress so the majority of the time was spent arguing and fighting. I started drinking again two days after we got married on the day of my wife's baby shower. I felt justified in drinking again because of all the stress that I was feeling, but I now realize it was selfish I've regretted it ever since.
I have been sober now since August 5th. I feel really motivated to kick the habit this time cause I just can't do it anymore.I don't want my daughter to have a drunk as a father like I had and I do not want to hurt my wife anymore. I've been reading books on alcoholism and I recently came across this site. Before I made the decision to join I read through alot of everyone's stories and found them to be eerily similar to my own experiences. I have thought about going to check out a meeting in my area but I'm not sure if I am ready yet.
I am new to this and not quite sure where to begin.
Thanks for reading
I will have a daughter who is due in two months.
Alcoholism runs in my family, my father was and still is an alcoholic.
I just realized that I have a problem with alcohol about 7 months ago when I came home black out drunk before my wife[my girlfriend at the time] was coming home from work. I went out with my father with the intention of having a couple drinks but it didnt turn out that way.
By the time he dropped me off back at my apartment I was completely trashed and just remember washing some dishes when my girlfriend walked in and tried to act sober by having my back to her and not turning all the way around to greet her. I dont recall anything after that but when I woke up the next morning she told me I could of killed her she said I was washing dishes and dropped a glass and ended up picking up pieces and I pointed a shard of glass and came towards her stumbling forward then I proceeded to have a emotional breakdown screaming and crying punching the wall beside her head.
I just had a relapse after 5 months of sobriety. Last month my mother in-law came to stay with us. We didnt know each other very well and my wife and I and her mother were all under financial stress so the majority of the time was spent arguing and fighting. I started drinking again two days after we got married on the day of my wife's baby shower. I felt justified in drinking again because of all the stress that I was feeling, but I now realize it was selfish I've regretted it ever since.
I have been sober now since August 5th. I feel really motivated to kick the habit this time cause I just can't do it anymore.I don't want my daughter to have a drunk as a father like I had and I do not want to hurt my wife anymore. I've been reading books on alcoholism and I recently came across this site. Before I made the decision to join I read through alot of everyone's stories and found them to be eerily similar to my own experiences. I have thought about going to check out a meeting in my area but I'm not sure if I am ready yet.
I am new to this and not quite sure where to begin.
Thanks for reading
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 89
August 5th, that's quite a feat! Good job! Run with the confidence of that to start healing.
Concentrate on the good things, like your new family. You need to formulate a new you, one without alcohol. It won't be easy, but going to a meeting is probably a good idea. You can learn strategies to do this from people that have been there.
I think you have a lot going for you and are in a positive position to do good things. You just have to ask yourself: "What am I going to do with it?"
Good luck, and keep posting.
Concentrate on the good things, like your new family. You need to formulate a new you, one without alcohol. It won't be easy, but going to a meeting is probably a good idea. You can learn strategies to do this from people that have been there.
I think you have a lot going for you and are in a positive position to do good things. You just have to ask yourself: "What am I going to do with it?"
Good luck, and keep posting.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi Dream Searcher
Congratulations on your sober time!
I think you're definitely taking the right steps.
You'll find this place gives great support - and some pointers where else to go should you decide you need it
Welcome to SR!
Hope to see you around some more,
D
Congratulations on your sober time!
I think you're definitely taking the right steps.
You'll find this place gives great support - and some pointers where else to go should you decide you need it
Welcome to SR!
Hope to see you around some more,
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
You've already done the most important thing, and that is realizing you have a problem. That is the biggest step. I am so proud of you for recognizing it and your commitment to being sober and a good father.
Parenting has been one of my big struggles (my father was also an alcoholic) and I am so glad today that I have found AA, found this site and am clean and sober. The relationship I have with my girls today is wonderful and full of joy. I still struggle with the feelings that I have always had, but I am not alone today. The promises have come true for me.
Have you considered a 12 step program of some sort? AA has been an integral part of my continued sobriety. I always have a group of other Mom's who help me, and are clean and sober. I don't have to do it alone anymore and that has helped me so much.
Parenting has been one of my big struggles (my father was also an alcoholic) and I am so glad today that I have found AA, found this site and am clean and sober. The relationship I have with my girls today is wonderful and full of joy. I still struggle with the feelings that I have always had, but I am not alone today. The promises have come true for me.
Have you considered a 12 step program of some sort? AA has been an integral part of my continued sobriety. I always have a group of other Mom's who help me, and are clean and sober. I don't have to do it alone anymore and that has helped me so much.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
Go to a meeting if you think you need it. If not just formulate your own plan to not drink. The biggest thing to internalize is that drinking will never cause anything but problems for you. For some of us drinking was our "solution". Find another solution, that is the important thing. Family can be a big part of the solution.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Wow your child is very lucky indeed! Go to that meeting and get to talk to people that you can relate to, like the stories here, in person. Don't get the wrong impression that you need to be drinking everyday or every weekend, just because you are catching this disease in it's early stages definitely does not mean it is any less dangerous for you and your family! Give it a go, you don't want to be doing this by yourself especially with a young one to take care of, stick around at the end and talk to a few people:-)
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