MYABE,,Just MAYBE..I Will give NA a try once again.
 

I have gone to a few meetings before. I have been to 12 step groups and treatment. I just do not get or understand and most of all..relate to the steps.
I read some stories here on meetings. Most good. Some horrifying. And me being the way I am..Well.. Most of you know already. I can have a big mouth and dont bite my tongue. What happens if I get the same judgement I have read about here? Really I could care less about what anyone thinks. But I dont like anyone telling me do this or this will happen. I dont buy it for a minute. I seriously do not believe an HP is going to save me. Of course I believe there is one. Whatever it is. But I am so set in my ways of believing that this is an iside job. Not a solo job. But one that comes from within.
I am not having any luck at all finding a Buddhist group by me. Not one that isnt all monks and stuff. My pdoc really wants me to get that F2F support. Which I totally agree with. How do you go to a place with people that are all believing and doing things I do not agree with?
All except the staying clean part. I dont connect with the steps in the littlest bit.
I have tried. I really have. I had a book on the steps and I still didnt connect.
My belief goes more toward like a Karma type belief. Not an all mighty being running things.
Maybe it is me who is wrong. But I cant help the way I feel. I cant help that I cant see eye to eye with the whole 12 step way.
But maybe I can just go for the F2F support.
How will that all work for someone like me who has no desire to use the steps or believe in the way of NA? All I want is human contact for support. Nothing more.

Hi Aysha,

I hope you can find the support that you are looking for.

Hi Trish

I don't know much about AA/NA, but I see nothing wrong in going for F2F support and solidarity, if thats what you want. Many people I know here, and also in the real world, do just that and very successfully...

There's other F2F alternatives too like SMART and LifeRing - any of those near you?

This is your journey - noone else can make your journey for you...:)

D

Hi Aysha,

Well, I'll chip in... I am using the 12 steps in my recovery.

I seriously don't believe that my HP is going to save me either... I believe that it is an inside job myself... hmmm.... Free will is all we surrender in the third step... and we try to figure out what God's will is for us in the eleventh... but we also ask for the power to carry it out.

We do the work, we are just asking for some help knowing what it is we should do... God doesn't do it for us... you see? We just need the instructions... and His power to carry them out.

It's not a passive process...

If you just want the fellowship, it's there if you want it... But the fellowship supports the program.

Is what you are doing now working for you?

By the way... you sound like you're doing OK! How's school going so far?

Mark

Trish, you aren't the first and won't be the last to struggle with different aspects of the 12-Step program. Rather than talk yourself out of it because the steps didn't work before, or you don't believe in a higher power, why not just go with an open mind? What have you got to lose? You've been making great strides in your recovery, and you might be surprised by what you come away with this time.

Whatever you decide, I'm behind you.

It's possible that you might find a NA group that would work with you, but I think you kinda have to check the attitude at the door. I'm not a 12 stepper either, but if I want to go to a meeting for support I'm not going to argue with them about their program and why it doesn't work. I'm not saying you would do that, but if I were you I'd just kinda keep those opinions to yourself.

You might want to ask your theripist if there are any group therapy sessions held anywhere close that she knows about. I checked to see if either SMART or Lifering had any meetings close to you, but neither do. I would think wiht Albany being fairly close that there would be something secular around there, but I couldn't find anything. Some NA meetings are more "open" to people with other beliefs than others. My best recomendation to you if you choose to go, is to go with as open a mind as possible. If possible, just try to agree to disagree with the things that don't sit right with you.

Some "hardcore" 12-stepers would say that you are not welcome as you have no intention of working the steps, which is fundemental to their program of recovery. However there are others that subscribe more to the "everyone is welcome who has a desire to stop using." I'd say just kinda try to feel your way through it. Bite your tounge a bit if you have to, and if you find it helpful, keep going back. Otherwise, try and find something else that might work for you. Just my 2 cents!! Best of luck. Take care.

I didn't believe in any of that AA/NA crap for a second.

Until I realized what a self-centered dumb*** I was.

I knew everything about nothing.

And then suddenly my life began to change for the good when I tried it with an open mind.

Because, you see, there really was no way I could know what would work & what would not.

I had to try it first, right? ;)

Trish I think its great you want to give it a shot. But as previously posted, go with an open mind, don't project on having a HP and doing the steps, just take baby steps.

Hi Trish, whereever you go NA/AA or SMART all you need to do is turn up and listen, nothing else is required. As Dee said its about F2F support. I am an atheist and as you know go to NA and after 1000's of meetings I have no horror stories only stories of support and love as I am sure you know from my posts.

Point really is if you show up to get some support from one of the groups, guess what you get? support :)

Kevin

trish...

take what you want, and leave the rest,

and someday...

you may want the rest...

its also about a little thing called service...

giving of yourself...

and in your case,

maybe find an attitude-guard with some Duct Tape to tag along! http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/r/rofl.gif

wishing you all the openmindedness, and the best trish...

hey, maybe someday,

you may start a group in your area? http://www.wizdforums.co.uk/images/smilies/shrug.gif

oh, one more thing...

watch out for the Hugs! lol

..human contact..
you've got plenty here..
..we all love you...Oz..

I am a big fan of the 12 Steps. Also Trish, I don't really go for a lot of what comes with going to the meetings either. I don't believe in a "God" but the steps.......big fan Girl. ;)

I've had to hear the BS too when I mention my stance and how I feel about things, especially the HP thing but I know that every day when I get up it's me that is doing the work.....that's how I feel.

I think the steps help your approach to how you deal with things in life. My first sponsee was like me, not big on the HP thing, however we did all the steps together and we just changed things up a bit that worked for our beliefs.

Keep an open mind, keep the faith and congrats on everything else Trish, YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!!!!! :)

I totally feel you. The thing is, I think if more of us openminded folks went to meetings and stood our ground, the Big Book thumpers might actually chill out a bit and not create such a foreboding environment. (I'm not really against people being devoted to the Big Book, but some people here take things way too far- example, at a meeting the other night a woman was talking about how great the "Woman's Guide to the 12 Steps" is, and one of the "old-timers"- who has all of 6 years clean- shouted out mid-share, "That's not NA approved literature, honey" and shut the poor women right up. I was already wary, and have seen people like this in the rooms all over town, do you think it made me want to go back to that meeting? LOL But I think I'm going to, even though I am an admitted retread and therefore not that respected or esteemed in the rooms, I know that "the newcomer is the most important person at any meeting" and that cross-talk is WAY worse then talking about "non-NA approved literature." Anyway, I kind of wished we lived in the same area, Aysha, I really agree with everything you say and you seem to want recovery as much as any Book thumpers I've seen, luckily, AA in my area is a little friendlier, and I'm definitely an alcoholic as well as an addict- sometimes due to the fact that my number one DOC was opiates I wish NA was more of a home- anyway, I digress :)

This is always such a sensitive topic. I never really make posts about programs. Its like other topics I never really discuss. Sports, religion and politics. Its like opening Pandora's Box at times.
Anyway. Thx for the responces. I think I am done discussing this subject for awhile.