keen2bclean

for the people who have been sober for a long time (I've read some are up to 15+ years)...is it still all-consuming?...I mean the fact that there is a need to still seek reminders of where we've been and gain support all those years down the line...I'm only at day 4 and am wondering will I always feel like this...fighting temptation etc etc...I know the logic of it but is putting that into practice always going to be a struggle for years to come? I guess that's what people mean when they say 'an ongoing battle'...just wondered how some of the more long term sober people feel about it all now?...

Anna

Hi,

The obsessing thoughts left me long, long ago.

I do work on my recovery every day though, and I always will.

Philly

Hi Keen,

I am by no means long term but I do have 13 months. This is the first time I have tried to quit. I did not ask your question until I was about 4 months sober. I really wanted to know if I would ever laugh or be happy again. It does get much easier. You will laugh and be happy again. You may not laugh at all the stupid crap you laughed at while drunk but you will laugh and be happy again. I do not use AA so this is my only chance to talk to people who have the same issues as me. I have listened to everyone especially those who relapsed. They all say that they became complacent. If I were in AA I would see on a continuing basis those still suffering. I think we need to see that because we forget. We always think it was not that bad. Maybe it wasn't but it can get worse. Also there is something to sharing your experience. Maybe it will help someone else. I hope I answered your question but also we need to reinforce in ourselves why we are no longer drinking.

Surlyredhead

Hello Keen2bclean,
Congratulations on your first 4 days sober, the first ones are the hardest(well, they were for me!). I can only speak for myself here, but after a few 24 hrs sober (I celebrated 15 years in April) I can honestly say that I don't really ever think about drinking anymore, and haven't for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I haven't forgot the last day I drank, and I pray I never will. But (if this makes sense) NOT drinking is so much a part of me now, that the only way I can describe it is....well, it is as much a part of me as drinking was before I quit. Also, not putting myself in situations where I may be tempted is something I am aware of everyday. Almost all of my friends are in recovery, and the ones who aren't would never even think of offering me a drink. I had to let those people go along time ago. I set the foundation for a sober life during treatment and through AA when I made the decision to live, not merely exisit in a drunken stupor in April 1994. It wasn't easy, but it gets better with time. Be strong and know it is always worth the effort to stay Sober!

As the saying goes, "My worst day sober, is better than my best day Drunk"

Cathy

Boleo

Abstinence is NOT DRINKING and feeling bad about it.

Recovery is not drinking and feeling GOOD about it.

For those of use who have "Recovered" the temptation to drink does not exit for us. This has little to do with time however and has more to do with
practicing new principles.

matt88

I'm not long term. Only about 5 weeks. But, I've worried about this too keen2bclean. Right now I come here and see this recovery thing as sort of like training wheels. One day I plan on graduating from all the recovery stuff altogether and just living 'normally,' but still taking the information I learned with me. I don't advocate that approach for everyone, but to me it feels that by spending so much time on recovery type stuff, that my life still revolves around alcohol.

Tazman53

Keen for me thanks to the program of AA my obsession to drink was lifted over 2 years ago.

I do not know to be honest, I know that most of the folks I know with a year or more sober in AA that have taken the steps and apply them daily to thier lifes they are, nor am I fighting anything or anyone, including alcohol.

Do I need to be reminded by that newcomer walking in the door for the first time, no, but I can tell you that when I hold out my hand to them and share my Experience, Strength, and Hope with them to help them stay sober it helps me as well.

Sobriety is something that I have found to be far more enjoyable and valuable then anything booze ever gave me, I have found a new solution for me life, a solution that does not involve me needing to seek an escape from life, but instead allows me to help others who are seekiing a solution to their own alcoholism or drug addiction in some cases.

Any one can tell any one else how to get drunk or high, but how many can tell an alcoholic or drug addict what worked for them to get and stay clean and sober in a manner that they both can relate to?

The newcomer is valuable to me, some what to remind me of where I was at, but far more valuable to me in helping me to stay sober by me being able to help them to gain sobriety by following the same path I followed.

krylonB

Hi Keen,
I feel some sort of affinity with you and how fragile I know you are at this moment ( 4 days ). 1st, congratulate yourself on those all-important 4 Days! I know the temptations are very grueling during this time, and you have not hit the point where a natural calmness begins overtaking the craving; trust me: it will come if you stay on track. I am approaching 4 weeks now, and the calmness is coming back ( it feels so wonderful!!!!!).
Beware what that voice in your head tries to coax you into !
When I have a thought like " well it's been a rough stressful week at work, I think a few beers would be just the thing to relax". I know how wrong that is now, so when a thought like that shows up I immediately picture myself how I felt when having an attack of pancreatitis. Sometimes it was 48 hrs. straight of vomiting, fitful sleep with hallucinations, weakness, pain in the abdomen, and a constant prayer to God "Please make this stop and I promise to never drink again as long as I live". I broke that promise as soon as I felt "well" again; but I hope to never break it again. It is not a daily struggle. For me that happened only during the 1st 2 weeks, then it subsides. I pray it does for you too. Once you really begin feeling your body making it's own natural chemical "highs", you will never want to turn back to artificial poisons again. I am not quite there yet, but I feel immensely better than I did 4 weeks ago. Good luck, hang in there, we are all praying for you.
kB

Hevyn

Like Anna, the obsessing over it ended for me quite awhile ago. I don't think any of us would have much success if "it" was constantly on our minds. After awhile I had other things to occupy myself. I forced myself to read, watch movies, garden, look up old friends I had kicked to the curb while drinking - absolutely anything to get my mind off of ME. It does get better, honest.

Mark75

hi keen

Ahhh, that was a big question for me when I was in early sobriety... I am 11+ months now...

"It" was all consuming, for me, until 4-6 months... It was very difficult to get my head out of my recovering a$$ for any length of time... Gradually it got better... Now it's fine... I can do things, enjoy them, and not think about it...

Sure, I spend lots of time here on SR, 3-4 meetings a week... So it still consumes some time... but I want to do these activities... I like to feel growth, understand, acceptance, recovery...

It consumes less time than I dedicated to drinking, pills, avoidance....

My brother has 23 years, sober in AA... He tells me that he occasionally has to make himself think about it... he goes on his life just fine... he does 3 meetings a week, sponsors a few people, does a fair number of speaking commitments... but he feels and to me, seems well balanced... he's my best friend... just not my sponsor

You are early my friend... Don't think too far ahead, you don't know how it will be, you don't know how you will feel... If you are in AA get inside of those first three steps... don't skimp on step two, you need it for step three.... Step three is what got me through those first few very difficult months....

Welcome... Congrats on the 4 days!! Keep coming back....

Mark

joinedintime

I'm at 13 months and I didn't even realize it until I read Philly say she was at 13, so no I'm not obsessing with it. I had to euthanize a very dear to me dog yesterday (you can read about it in the Class of July 2008 Part 7 thread if you like - I won't go into it further here). The point is that I would have used that as an excuse to get blind stinking drunk in the past and I would have woke up hungover and sad instead of just sad. Yesterday a coworker, knowing what I had to do after work, suggested that I get a bottle of whisky (he doesn't know I don't drink now and he's across the country anyway). I dismissed his suggestion in my mind with the same degree of effort that it would have taken to dismiss a suggestion to drive my car into a wall to feel better. In other words, it was no effort at all.

Congrats on 4 days and congrats on asking a very good question. That's a good sign for you in my opinion.

jamdls

My last drunk put me very close to death and w/in a week of that event while I was still in the hospital I accepted and acknowledged to myself and my doctor that I was an alcoholic and I never obsessed about drinking after that. There have been probably 2 times in the last year that I've thought "if only I could drink" but that thought is immediately replaced with the negatives of drinking. I have too much fun being proud of myself for NOT drinking to want to ever spoil that.

Charmie

keen2b.i only have around 7 months sober.after drinking alcoholically for 20 yrs.the obsession left me after my last drink.i got a sponsor as soon as i could and got on the steps.my life is very full.im never bored and i wonder when i had the time to drink.from a rock bottom alki to who i am now in such a short space of time is a miracle.the problem has been removed.i am looking forward to the rest of my journey and wake up every morning and wonder with a little awe what the day is going to bring.its a simple programme for complicated people they say.i just surrendered,i did everything that was suggested to me and gave up on my old ideas.so far so good.

flutter

I don't think I qualify as being sober for 'long', but the obsessive and consuming thoughts left me a long time ago. Once I was solid in my committment to sobriety, did a bunch of work on myself, I moved beyond the obsession and moved on with my life. I never think about it now, it's almost like a bad dream. I have grown in ways I'd never imagined, which I would not have been able to do by just quitting drinking.. abstinence is not recovery.

sfgirl

I am not long, 11 months today, and the obsessive thoughts only left me a few months ago, but I feel like Anna.

However, I think I would not have quite understood what this statement meant in early recovery.

When I say I work on my recovery every day, what I mean is I work on engaging positively in my life. Now, that is a different thing each day, and I really can't explain what I do, but it has very little if anything to do with alcohol. What it does though is naturally make me not want to engage in mind altering substances, and instead participate fully in life. I think that is why people seem so obsessed— they aren't obsessed with not drinking, they are positively engaged with living their lives and to be engaged, you really have to be sober. Recovery is never ending because you always are living life.

mikel60

Hi Keen,

I'm sober 13 years now and rarely think about drinking, and when I do it is not wishful thinking, but thanking God that its over.

I was fortunate. Except for one night early in sobriety, the minute I stopped, I never wanted to drink again. That being said, as I look back I was taking considerable action.

I attended AA every night, all day on weekends, immersed myself in the steps, made amends and started to create a new life. Somehow it didn't seem like work at the time. My drinking - now that was hard work.

The resulty was a strong foundation. I maintain the foundation by attending AA regularly and coming here. By coming to SR I get a meeting each night and learn from people at all stages of sobriety.

I hope you keep with it. You deserve a good life. Keep posting.

Mike

Dee74

Hi Keen...

No - I'm 2.5 years in and it's no longer a battle or a struggle for me - like Hevyn says, if it still was, I think most of us wouldn't be here...

I totally agree with SFGirl ^ recoverys no longer directly about alcohol and drugs for me - it's about growing and living and being the best person I can be.

For me, sure that means I have to accept and remember I'm an alcoholic and pot head - I don't endlessly think on it, but I can't forget that, or everything else will be affected.

It's no biggie
D

krylonB

I LOVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR

vegibean

I PROMISE!!!!! It will get better. It still amazes me sometimes when I actually think about it..........I'm not drunk? WOW!!! I promise!!! Hang in there. :ghug3

aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the grace of the my HP and
people like you here in SR I havent
found it necessary to pick up a
drink of alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and u I am truely grateful.

Congratulations to all those with
the many number of days sober
and clean u have today.

Like many before during and after
me who questioned if they would
ever be happy again giving up the
drink, i had no idea.

All i could do was fake it till I made
it. I went thru the motions day
after day and followed in the foot
steps of those with unbelievable
amounts of yrs sober. I did what was
suggested to me. And worked my
program to the best of my ability.

All that that is written in the Big
Book saying that you will know a
new freedom. Well.....

you will and I have.

I went to a meeting today. How
AWESOME it was. How AWESOME I
felt going, staying and leaving.

Yep,,,at 19 yrs sober I went. Know
why???? Cause I wanted to.

How are the newcomers gonna know
if AA or NA works if u dont show up
and let them see for themselves and
hear how recovery has worked in ur
life. How it has kept u clean and sober.

I brought my tray of goodies to the
many at the meeting and it was wiped
out in 15 minutes. What a joy it is to
do some sort of service work.

Now that is true happiness.

The biggest joy is sharing with others
my own experiences, strengths and
hopes of what it was like before during
and after alcohol.

To give the newcomer hope of what's
to come as u travel along ur road of
recovery. To give back what was so
freely passed on to me over the yrs.

I didnt get instant happiness when I
first got sober 19 yrs ago. It has
taken me many one days at a time
losing the layers and dropping walls
I built up around myself over the last
50 yrs.

The rewards im recieving today are
nothing short of miracles and gifts
just for being willing, open-minded
and honest in all my affairs.