jade09

I always feel guilty, like I am a piece of sh*t for been a drunk.....always like I need to make up for myself?
Been sober a few months.....Will this feeling end?

MycoolFitz

It'll end whenever you choose to have it end, not being flippant or callous, its up to us. We are what we think, with our thoughts we make our world. Sober a few months is awesome. Would you feel guilty and like s--t if you had Type 2 diabetes and treating it? Ease up on yourself, honor your wonder filled efforts. Peace

Dee74

It ended for me when I realised I had to move on - the past can't be undone, however much we want a do over.

We need to forgive ourselves and move on - we need all our effort to be focussed on the struggle at hand.

If we get stuck too much in the past we're not focusing where we should be - on the here and now - and we're likely to get suddenly blindsided by something and stumble in our recovery.

All I can do is make sure I stay in recovery today, and try to do good things from now on - hopefully I'll atone for my past mistakes that way.

It seems to work for me so far

D

penny74

Yes, and even if you can finally talk yourself in to feeling a bit less guilty because you are doing your f*** best, there are allways others ready to remind you what a piece of crap you were and won't let you forget it !!
Time will tell...


The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
Terry Pratchett

yeahgr8

I did it for 5 months last year, felt like **** all the way through...this time doing it at AA and working the steps designed to tackle what you have posted and so much more...quite honestly it is as a simple as keep feeling like crap or start working the steps with a sponsor and feel better about yourself and life in general...unless there is another way, i tried everything else before AA so am not aware there is?!

CarolD

All guilt and recriminations vanished for me
when I completed my AA Steps 4 & 5.

By improveing/changeing my destructive lifestyle
I never have to go thru remorse again.

All my best....

mikel60

Hey jade09,

I wish there was a delete button to erase the feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and remorse, but there isn't. The steps of AA helped immensely, but at 13 years sober, I still lapse into this type of thinking now and again.

The good thing is that I now realize that these are merely lies that my alcloholic mind has been conditioned to think. They usually arise when I'm facing a challenge that will be hard. I comat these thoughts and always win. I pray, meditate, read motivational books, websites, and review my life sober. Whatever it takes and whatever works for you.

I'm not a piece of dirt, never was, nor are you. Keep going, keep trying, and keep using this site!

Mike

Rusty Zipper

the trash bag is full,

time to put it out to the curb,

and let the garbage men pick it up!

all good wishes jade...

Hevyn

Guilt & regret kept me from moving forward for a long time. That's why I kept relapsing, I couldn't face those feelings. They would haunt me in the middle of the night and I'd get up and pace, then usually end up drinking in desperation.

When I found SR some wise people kept reminding me how useless those emotions are. Don't stay stuck on what cannot be changed - it's keeping you from having the life you're entitled to. While you dwell in the past you aren't enjoying the things you have right in front of you, today. Jade, hold your head up and be proud of what you've accomplished - maybe others in your life don't/can't understand what you've been through, but we do. That's why I love this place, I'm not alone anymore.

Mark75

For me, assuaging the guilt, loosing the shame, has been one the more difficult aspects of early recovery... AA really helps me with that., especially the fellowship. I'm not the only one to go down this road... and I meet many wonderful, interesting people in AA.

Mark

tommyk

Steps 4 & 5, absolutely.

Also - realizing that today is what matters and the past is gone.

But Steps 4 & 5 did it for me.

jamdls

I could barely look at myself the first year I was sober, All the memories I had tried to drink away came back in the first few months of sobriety and I had a lot of shame and quilt. The steps helped me but I still didn't trust myself and I still didn't like and still don't like the person that I was when I was drunk. It took me about 18 months to really let go and move forward. I was fortunate that I was able to permanetly distance myself from the life I'd been living and the people in that life.

CriseAbsolute

I think when you grow older, you will feel less sorry. This is because you will understand that everything happens for a reason, and you will be a better person afterwards! So eventually, you will be a better person because you were a "drunk" than when you wouldn't have been. For instance, you will be able to appreciate the little things in life better because you had a hard time once. I hope you stay strong and that i'm right...

Anna

I found forgiving myself to be the hardest part of recovery.

For me, it didn't happen quickly and it didn't happen all at once.

A wonderful lady that I met here reached out to me and suggested that I try journalling. I resisted because I didn't want to write down the things that were plaguing me, but nothing else was working. So, I began to write and write and write and the pain lifted, slowly but surely.

jade09

THANK YOU CriseAbsolute

So eventually, you will be a better person because you were a "drunk" than when you wouldn't have been.

I know in some way, I am wiser.....and I do not regret...only wish i knew then...all the things I know now.....would have made a big difference in my decision making
Thanks

SelfSeeking

I'm glad I read this tonight, it echoes what I've been experiencing. When I was drinking I was a really crappy employee, I'd call out sick a lot when in reality I was hungover. I always felt horrible about it, you know, I can't believe I got that drunk, what was I thinking, I'll never do that on a work night again (HA)... Well my last drunk was 10/28/08. I started my current job in November and other than a one drink relapse in May, I have been sober and a reliable employee/coworker. It has felt awesome. But today, I am sick. After a lot of trepidation and a phone call to my sponsor to get feedback on "am I being lazy or am I actually sick *enough* to call out", I called out. Now I know very well that I'm not hung over, that I have lots of sick time to use, that this is understandable and _not my fault_. But I still feel guilty. I know it's a holdover from my drinking days. My sponsor reassures me that it just takes time, and that as I stay sober and continue through the 4th and 5th steps, these feelings will pass.

jade09

10/28/08------that's enough said
you are sober.....so be confident
if you want a day off take it
you are on a mission, and you are doing great---don't give up
don't lose focus-----be proud!!

NewBeginning010

OZboy

..iv'e found you again..

take it easy..ok..Oz...

OZboy

..ain't stop worring about you..
..but always be your-self..Oz..