original

Ok, so, I sat there in my first few weeks of sobreity, and professed to know all, but I've sat here knowing that I was WRONG....


Well, bollocks, I was so wrong. and I'm proud of it.
I now know that kicking booze in the **** is a lot harder than I initially thought.
It is a LIFE battle, not something to be taken lightly, for example, nothing can scare you out of it, It has to be a 100% decision, for oneself to be clear of the daft stuff. With it being a legal drug, it's not easy.

I have no answers, but I will say I am wiser, judge no one, they just want to stop, we have to be here for them, all the new guys think they can do it...

I myself drink, still, even though I know the stupidity of it.
None of us are qualified to judge others, even if they continue to repeat the cycle. It has to be that person that realises it's wrong, that will be the one to change it. FREE WILL... This is the kicker....

But I will say, thanks to all at SR, I've had a drink, and I've realised this is the place.

Just like at AA, at least I'm not drunk right now.
Those split seconds can change all of it.....

original

And I fully admit I'm powerless...

while intoxicated...

It sicken's me.
I long for the day, I can be free of this affliction.

Good luck to all of you...
I know people from AA that have been sober for 25 years, so I KNOW it can be done,

I also feel better at AA than I do on these forums....

Much love, guys

citychick

Good for you original.

It only takes a bit of willingness and some small steps to begin the process.

original

Thankyou, I am not ready to commit myself to it though...
but at the same time I know that soberness, is the freedom...

It plagues me, I just need to get over the HUMP...

Listening to Rick astleys, whenever you need somebody...
What an album...

I'm british,... what can I say....

I have tradition number 3 under wraps, I question myself all the time, but it never seems enough,

I just want to kick booze in the bollocks.... I really do, but I know it's my responsibility, ....


I wish I could just say goodbye to this STUPID addiction....

anyway....

original

Off to bed, but still interested in anyone who has anything to say about this suject.......

Thankyou all...

Dee74

Putting down the drink is a great start Original
If I only learned one thing, I'm glad it was the acceptance that I'm an alcoholic.

Every drink does me damage, every drink keeps me right where I don't ever want to be.

D

matt88

I'm only like a month sober. But it's helped me to think that I'm just sort of experimenting with sobriety, just testing out the waters to see what it's like. I'm just dipping my toe in to get the temperature of the water. I'm not jumping head first in the deep end right away.

Taking5

Look at some of your quotes:
You still see yourself in a "battle" and you are "fighting" your addiction. May I respectfully suggest that you have not taken AA's step one yet. You are defeated. Alcohol won not just the battle, but the entire frickin' war. You are powerless over king alcohol.

From admitting powerlessness, you begin recovery. In AA's big book it talks about this: "We have ceased fighting anyone and anything, including alcohol".

Maybe talk this over with your sponsor, and maybe you can revisit step 1.

Good luck.

yeahgr8

Hi mate, the word bollocks gave you away as British, i am too:-)

It's great that you have already found your way to AA. I would hit as many meetings as you can and get a sponsor. You will need someone to guide you through the steps. I sat with a British guy yesterday for a coffee who did the steps himself in the wrong way and wasted 3 years of his life trying to do it his way...end result massive depression and everything still a disaster.

I'm really pleased, for you, that you have said you like the face to face in AA, that's a great start. Listen to the people in AA, get the literature and stick around for coffees afterwards...get phone numbers and make new sober friends...it will make your life so much more enjoyable whilst you work the steps.

Keep going to meetings and listening, if you don't you might disappear for years or not get back at all...good luck man:-)

CarolD

Regardless of anything else....for me to finally ... actually quit...
I had to want to more than I wanted to drink.

Depression brought me into AA.....what an awesome adventure it is.

keen2bclean

Hey ... I'm British too!...lol @ the word 'Bollocks, you're right that did give him away

I've read alot here on people that get a huge amount of support from AA...its almost as if its the only way is some cases...I just wanted to ask what happens when you cant get out to one of these meetings?...I am at home on my own a lot of the time with three kids and the meetings in my area are quite late (8pm)...is it possible for me to do this on my own with this site?...I guess time will tell....I'm not sure what i am tbh...alcholic or hard drinker....I have alcohol in my house that I havent touched for years as its not 'my drink' iykwim...its beer and sparkling wine with me...the latter being the one that catapults me to the hellish hangovers....

Dee74

Well, it's been possible for me, but I drank way into 'the end zone' - not wanting to die, and then not wanting to ever go back there, has been a lasting and powerful motivation for me...which I find I have to back up with a LOT of work.

I'm in the minority, but there are others here too, so it can be done

Most people do find some face to face support helps - I can't imagine you're the only mum with kids, so if you eventually decide you want to try AA, I'm sure you can negotiate that

I find these distinctions a bit pointless myself - I never drank spirits, but I drank beer and wine all day everyday - so not being a drinker of 'hard liquor' didn't make me any less of an alcoholic LOL...it's all alcohol.

in the end, heavy drinker or alcoholic, I just needed to stop

D

keithj

You can be free today. Really. You ever wonder how somebody goes from drinking one day to the rest of their life sober? How does that shift occur? It's fascinating to me. How did I go from drinking every day to one day not drinking?

A big part of that shift for me was in realizing that I was powerless over alcohol all the time. Not just when I was drinking. At that point, the fight was over. I lost. And in doing so, I won.

If you are only powerless over alcohol when you are drinking, then your solution is easy. Don't drink. Then, you won't be powerless. End of story.

So after those first few weeks of sobriety, when you weren't drinking and obviously were not powerless, what happened?

original

A big part of that shift for me was in realizing that I was powerless over alcohol all the time. Not just when I was drinking. At that point, the fight was over. I lost. And in doing so, I won.


Thanks mate... just what I needed to hear...

original

Sara's post has been closed, not sure why... but hey.

that guy original makes more sense than anyone else here.... i dont want to quit drinking, i just dont want to end up being some crazy antisocial drunk loser, which is kinda what im turning into now... i wanna be able to drink like a somewhat normal person

What I would say, is that when we do develop our 'thinking problem', it's just about impossible to go back to drinking 'normally'. So Sara, I would say, until all the emotional problems are out of the way - by way of a therapist or counsellor, don't even toy with it.

What I've come to realise is that I'm far from that point of clarity too.
Last night, I had a LOT of beer, wasn't all too drunk, and then my fiance's brother offered me a spliff... BAD idea...

I admitted to my group at AA the last time I was there, that I was still drinking. Had to get it out, but the DESIRE is still there....

I won't go into personal details, but I'm having a crappy time right now.
I went **** and balls into the whole sobreity thing, and ended up getting myself in a bit of a pickle.

I know I probably make no sense right now, but if even one person listens, then it will have been worth it I guess.

LovetoLive, as for your comment on Sara's thread, about loving drinking and driving, I can relate, but I also know that while we live out our most selfish fantisies, we endanger other road users.... I for one, have been kicked in the arse since getting my DUI, but it hasn't stopped me drinking, which frankly I find scary.

I'm just glad of this place, (SR) as it's somewhere to go when all around you are drunk, but you really feel the need to stop, gage, and control, the beast.

I can't say for myself, but I wish you all another 24 hours....

And thanks

Reese321

When you drink too much, you begin to love the person you become when your intoxicated.

I found that my feelings became numb, and a person that has no feelings is not human. Being human is hard and requires a lot of reconciliation. You have to awknowledge your faults while at the same time enjoying your strengths. It can be a hard balance to attain.

But when you do, it is something that is infinitely more enjoyable than any drink.

I learned to forgive myself and cut myself a break. I learned to be myself, and if anyone didn't like it, they could go to hell. Then bad circumstances made me a heavy drinker for three months straight. Luckily, I was only a drinker for a short period of time, so I didn't forget this rule I had learned before. I plan to use the same strategy.

Rediscover the faulty human inside of yourself.

I hope this makes sense. Good luck "mate."