CriseAbsolute

I know what you're going through Sara. Most people on here do!
I smoked weed for about 6 years (15-21) so i know that won't be a joke to quit (drinking too).
But you'll be able to one day, when you're in the right mindstate. No one here on the forum can change your bad habbits, only you can. So just contemplate on how your life would be different and the answers will be found within. Good luck to you!

NEOMARXIST

I F*cking Loved blacking out when I was drinking which I guess is why I did it everytime I drank, I just hated coming round from the blackout.

I often wonder what I ever saw in drinking and I can't see any posititve's about it, yet still it is always on my mind and the equation seems so obvious ie- I haven't had a drink for nearly 7weeks and my life has improved 1000000000x in that time, I have a job interview on weds, I played a really good gig last night and went down a storm, I now know that I wan't to go to University next Sept and as long as I stay sober I will do really well, I am looking good, I have my confidence back, I basically feel like i did when I was 16. Why? Because I am a 'recovering' alcoholic and no-longer an active drunk.

All the best Saracidal, don't think that people on here are having a go at you or judging you or anything, trust me I/they aren't, it's just that if they had the chance to be where you are at 18 then they would grab it with open arms. Drink and drugs won't really ever lead to anywhere but downhill really, you can only really get away with it and move upwards (to some degree) if you are a rock-star. Incidentally something which I still aspire to be someday, drinking took that dream away from me over the last few years, and trust me it was no far-fetched pipe-dream either.

All The Best.

cptspalding

that's the scariest thing I've ever read on here

Learn2Live

Quote:

I F*cking Loved blacking out when I was drinking

I know this is sick but I found this hilarious. I guess because I can so relate.
We human beings are weird how we love hurting ourselves, etc.

keen2bclean

I hate the blackouts...not being able to remember when waking up with panic attacks scares the shite outta me...now more recently they have become totally tiresome...so fed up with myself for gettin in that state...then the promises to yourself that you wont get 'that bad' again....til the next time....enuff is enuff....or is it...time will tell ...

Saracidal

i dont like blacking out.... i wake up not knowing what i did and sometimes not knowing where i am or how i got there... its scary and it gives me anxiety attacks

NEOMARXIST

I am just being honest, it's pretty strightforward that there must have been something I loved about reaching oblivion/blacking out, after-all I used to always drink untill I reached that point over a period of about 7 years every-weekend and more if I could, that's why I started using using drugs heavily so that I wouldn't blackout by forcing my brain to stay awake so I could ram even more booze down my neck.

"Aint it fun when you know that your gonna die young?"

CriseAbsolute

Sad but true, and this shows how people drink to forget about past trauma's.
This is my own experience but i think many can reflect on that...

1_day@_a_time

Summary: I don't know how to cope & want to escape my pain.

I hear ya, I did the same for nearly 30 years. It only got worse.

There IS a solution.

NEOMARXIST

Correct, you get that too eh, just like me and probably most other alcoholics on here no doubt. I hadn't used to and I used to laugh about it but then it changed for me and I started getting the anxiety and panic about what I'd done and couldn't remember. I started to drink to get rid of them feelings and it got worse. Progressive. You sound like you may be nearing the stage when you realise you don't have to go through it again if you don't pick up that first drink...

keen2bclean

think there was confusion there sara as you said in an old post that blacking out 'was wonderful'....the reality is utter sh1t hey...trying to peice together what you did and said....waves of panic coming over you as flashes of it come back to your knackered brain....

Learn2Live

People who fall asleep because they are tired or exhausted from lack of sleep do not have to ask themselves or even discuss whether or not it was because they blacked out.

Some questions to ask yourself:
You don't really or you don't at all?
How much is "a little bit" over the limit? What's the limit anyway?
If you black out, how do you know if you're driving or not?

That is awesome. Keep posting on SR and people will respond right away to your posts because we all know how hard this is for you.
I hear ya'.

Learn2Live

Ooh, sorry that was so big. I been trying out new fonts today.

Pelican

What is the legal limit for an 18 year old?

NEOMARXIST

There is a fine line between Love and hate. That's why I found booze sooo hard to let go of.

CriseAbsolute

I couldn't have put this any better...

Saracidal

i think the limit for driving here is like 2 or 3 drinks.... i dont think being underage has anything to do with it.. at least i hope not, that would be ******* stupid

CriseAbsolute

Being responsible is the only thing that matters in this case, not the amount of drinks...

Learn2Live

The limit is measured by "blood alcohol content" and the number of drinks has nothing to do with it. Each person's body metabolizes alcohol at a different rate. Generally, males process it faster than females; and heavier people faster than less heavy people. So, whereas a 200 lb man may be able to drink 3 drinks in an hour and not feel drunk, a 120 pound teenager might get drunk off the same 3 drinks within that amount of time.

No one, no matter what age, should be driving intoxicated. I don't know the drunk driving limits in Canada. Do you know Sara?

Saracidal

i dunno, i just always heard that in most cases you can have 2-3 and still legally drive.. but i dont really care.. if i dont think i can drive, than i wont, and if i do think i can drive, i will... **** the rules