keen2bclean

Hi every1....I found this site in the early hours of the morning after having had a skinful yesterday...had an awful night...panic attacks, anxiety, insomnia...wracked with guilt that I had let myself (and my family) down again, so glad that I went online and found the AA site together with this one...

I can so relate to the stories on here. I've been drinking for most of my adult life...since around 13 (i'm 37 now), only abstaining when in hospital, ill or through my pregnancies,which was aided by the physical repulsion to it at the time. Soon went back to going OTT with alcohol afterwards tho. I cant look at the big picture..I find that too scary....christmas is coming...birthdays...and who am I without a drink?...I'm also not looking forward to the 101 questions from friends asking why i'm not drinking....trying to get me a drink etc...one day at a time is the only way I have a chance at this...so for today I havent had a drink....but then I'm recovering from yesterday so that hasnt been too hard...tomorrow will be harder. I fear there will be many relapses...but i'm hoping that is me being more realistic than defeatist.

Thanks guys for listening x:praying

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community
Glad you are here and
Yes! you too can win over alcohol...

keen2bclean

Thank you Carole...I'm really hoping I can x

Taking5

Welcome, this is a great place for support.

I think you'll find that explaining your not drinking will be easy if you are honest. This does not mean you have to tell everyone you are in AA, just say you have quit for health reasons, which is 100% true.

There will likely be one or two people in your life that harass you about not drinking. These are probably the ones that have an alcohol problem as well.

Anna

I'm glad you found us!

wanttolive

One day at a time!!! Or one hour at a time when that is what you need.

Lots of good advice here from people with long term sobriety and lots of newcomers (like me) in your same boat!

nelco

Hiya, its possible to change and have a great sober life without alcohol. I did.
christmas is so much nicer when you remember it. AA works for me, and the support here is very helpful.

tommyk

Welcome, keep coming back.

Wolfchild

Hello and welcome to the Sober Recovery community.
i hope that you will consider the need for change
and get the help you need to stay clean & sober.

luckedog

Relapses happen to many of us. the important thing is that you don't let the remorse and shame stop you from keep getting back on track.I never thought it was possible for me to live without drinking but I am getting longer in my recovery and a lot shorter in returning to the old ways. It is a fight every step of the way- sometimes you get knocked down don't let it knock you out! keep fighting till you get the victory!
I was one that thought AA was not for me- I have come to believe for the long term recovery it is essential Find a group you can relate to and join them. Stick around here there is some great advice-(prayers to you)

Jade19

Hi there, WELCOME WELCOME!!

Your story is so familiar to mine!! Started at 13 as well, 37 now too!! Been sober for a little over 50 days. But I stumbled along the way and finally made it here...you can do it!! It's not easy but it's SOO worth it!!! Keep posting and reading....hope to see more of you =)

HUGS,
Jade

Dee74

welcome Keen!

While most of us have a couple of goes at 'getting it' - that's not a necessity! LOL

Just focus on each day- try to keep to a committment not to drink today - keep posting and reading here - this is a great place for encouragement and support...

and keep thinking about other avenues of support out there in the real world too...every little bit helps

Hope to see you around some more
D

original

Who are you without a drink? You're you.

Get to AA, it's something magical, even if you're not ready to give up, you need it.
I wish you all the best....

Booze is a devestating mythical beast...

NewBeginning010

Glad to have you here, we are all here to help each other through this.

Take Care,

NB

keen2bclean

Thanks so much for your support guys xx

I'm on day two now...actually slept last night without waking up in a startle/ massive anxiety attack several times thru the night...feel good this morning...this will be a harder day tho...come late afternoon the cold beer will be calling my name...thing is I wasnt that bad just drinking a few cold beers...but then I got bored of the taste and wanted something 'more'...so would crack open a bottle of wine, just for one of course *eyes to celing*...the road to hell....

good luck to all of us xxx

keen2bclean

Well got thru yesterday, felt shakey in the evening....slept well tho which was great but woke up with a headache this mornin...start of day 3...dont think I will drink today...

nelco

Hiya...........keep it up. your winning when you dont drink.

Fluttering

Welcome Keen Glad you found us

stone

Hi K2, well done on your decision and progress.

ClayTheScribe

Here's a suggestion:

Write down on a piece of paper how you felt the day after heavy drinking. Write down every detail of how you felt, how your body felt, what was going through your head, how you felt about drinking, etc. Pin this piece of paper up where you most often do your drinking, or where you keep your alcohol. When you feel the urge to drink or are approaching where you drink/keep the alcohol, read what you wrote on that paper aloud. One of the greatest things keeping me from drinking is reminding myself how miserable I felt last time I drank. You can't think about possible relapses, you just can't. Think instead about what you can do with your life now that you're not drinking. Think of how much happier (in the long run) you'll feel without the booze.

And don't think about the long-distance future. Try thinking only about the next 20 minutes and how you're going to stay sober. Then gradually reduce that to 19, 18, 17 minutes and so on until you reach the very moment you're in. Then reside there and there only. Be Here Now. You'll be delighted by how much easier social gatherings, pressing friends and birthdays and Christmases are to handle. Maybe give meditation and mindfulness a go.

And you might be surprised by how supportive your friends are, I certainly was. None of my friends tried to pressure me to drink once I was honest with why I stopped drinking. If they're not supportive, they're not really good friends then are they?

Whatever you do, keep coming back here and updating us on how you're doing. You always have our support no matter how dark your day.