Dee74

Hi Brae

I've loved people but I had to let them go because they were bad or me, or I was bad for them, or we were both bad for each other.

I've loved them - but I've learned to love myself too.

If a relationship is not healthy for me it's not good for me...and honestly it's probably not good for the other person either.

D

Brae

Sapling~ Yup I work the steps. Im on 4 right now, oh the fun of it all! lol
Even with heartache it really is just one day at a time. Patience has never been my strong suit.
Miracles do happen. I am one. I wont hold my breath however. It would just be really nice to talk to my best friend again.
Maybe someday, just not today, and that is where my attention needs to be, today.
I broke down again tonight. I prayed and cried and prayed some more. That is all one woman can do in the face of a disease. I have to remind myself of that. Not only is that all I can do, it is all I should attempt to do.
Thanks for the support peeps!!

Sapling

I'll tell you what....I have a friend in AA that had 10 months sober...Working her fourth step...About halfway through...Everthing going right in her life...Had a job..A car...A license and insurance....Was going to get custody back of her kids this week...Completely changed her life around....She got a DUI and felony Cocaine possesion this weekend and is sitting in jail right now. Lost everything. Do what I did...Pray a lot for willingness and honesty and get through that step...Too many people don't. Best of luck to you Brae...I like to see people make it.

Brae

WOOP WOOP ~4~ Years today!!!

SIPD

Congrats!!!

misterritter

Congratulations. I read the whole thread and was hoping it would end well when I saw that the first entry was years ago. It's an inspirational thread. Thanks for sharing all of these experiences.

Dee74

That's wonderful Brae - congratulations!

D

sugarbear1

Congratulations!

What is different today than 4 years ago?

Brae

It blows my mind to go back and read through this thread.

I mean. Wow.

It takes me back and I can feel some of the sting and the elation through the different periods.

As for now, life is amazingly good. Im no rockstar but I have a decent enough job that supports me. I share a cute home with some awesome roomies. I am sober. (That in itself is amazing.) I have people who love me.

My life is rather quiet. I have smaller shifts now. I still love AA and all that it has brought me, which is everything I have today. Being quietly content is more than I thought was possible.

Dee74

good to see you Brae

D

SnoozyQ

Hi Brae , absolutely loved reading your little journal and from 2009.
It makes me so happy to see a post like yours and see how well you have come out the other side.
One day i want to be where you are now , happily reflecting xxx

Thanks again

TucTee

Good for you, Brae. Your ability to stay sober throughout all of the trauma--particularly after receiving numerous chances to renege--is inspiring.

FourSeasons

Nice!!!

Athyrium

Well, there is nothing like a little update.

Brae is my old screen name. I had to make a new account because I can't access the old one.

I celebrated 10 years of sobriety on the 12th. Re-reading these posts is like watching a dramatic tv show. I can tell I was hurting but I can't quite feel into it. Im grateful for that. It must mean that I have healed.

Life is grand. I really am a whole other person at this point in my life. I don't know that I would recognize myself looking back, even the pictures from around that time are strange to look at. I was such a little vulnerable mess.

Im so incredibly grateful that I went to that first meeting. I have been attending meetings and working the steps since then. Its what has worked for me.

So if you are struggling and you are desperate, try something you haven't been willing to try, doing so changed my life forever. <3

Dee74

10 Years is fantastic Brae/Athyrium - congratulations

D