should be 28 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: norwich, uk
Posts: 80
should be 28 days
But...
Due to various problems with my OH I fell off my wagon. Not big style, but enough to feel crabby about.
I have spent the last month agonising over how to tell OH how I feel about us and his attitude. I finally told him on Sunday. He lost benefit because they recon he is able to work which is utter crap, but he can apeal, so I says ok I will help. Muppet that I am and I wish hadn't because I was reminded of my melt down. I told him this but he chose to call me lazy! He didn't even attempt to fill the forms out!!!
I also told him after he said that, that I don't want us anymore either and his parting shot was to tell me it wasn't me talking, me I have no mind of my own I have to rely on my Mum telling me what to do. PAFF!
It's been quiet here since Sunday and a lot less stressful.
I had a whole bottle of ginger wine to myself last night, not good at all, I am determined to get back on the wagon and continue on my journey.
Due to various problems with my OH I fell off my wagon. Not big style, but enough to feel crabby about.
I have spent the last month agonising over how to tell OH how I feel about us and his attitude. I finally told him on Sunday. He lost benefit because they recon he is able to work which is utter crap, but he can apeal, so I says ok I will help. Muppet that I am and I wish hadn't because I was reminded of my melt down. I told him this but he chose to call me lazy! He didn't even attempt to fill the forms out!!!
I also told him after he said that, that I don't want us anymore either and his parting shot was to tell me it wasn't me talking, me I have no mind of my own I have to rely on my Mum telling me what to do. PAFF!
It's been quiet here since Sunday and a lot less stressful.
I had a whole bottle of ginger wine to myself last night, not good at all, I am determined to get back on the wagon and continue on my journey.
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Don't let OH (?) (Original Husband?...Yeah I need to learn internet) tell you what you are/aren't. You called it, when you had the forms and he didn't fill out nothing. Lady, you are never pressed to come to the service of these men who can't do what they need to do... Nor should you feel compelled. Sorry, yeah, I said it.
I was "obligated", at fist-point, once upon a time (different country, I'm guessin' y'all from England) to stand up and be the breadwinner. Since then I've learned different. If there's no children, think about your man. It's okay for him to make the money, it's okay for y'all, it's okay for both y'all. It's not okay for you to pay his way. No needin'. If he can't fill out a form, well, it's I guess a form of grown-up tough love.
Personally, if they'd give me money for filling out a form, I'd be filling out forms all day long. That does not work in California. Fill out forms, get 200 dollars. Easier to work.
I was "obligated", at fist-point, once upon a time (different country, I'm guessin' y'all from England) to stand up and be the breadwinner. Since then I've learned different. If there's no children, think about your man. It's okay for him to make the money, it's okay for y'all, it's okay for both y'all. It's not okay for you to pay his way. No needin'. If he can't fill out a form, well, it's I guess a form of grown-up tough love.
Personally, if they'd give me money for filling out a form, I'd be filling out forms all day long. That does not work in California. Fill out forms, get 200 dollars. Easier to work.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: norwich, uk
Posts: 80
Tazman: I am avoiding shops that sell alcohol like the plague in the evenings, I am also doing stuff like watching tv and doing puzzles and making a rug for my youngest.
Thirtybubba: Yes I am in England, OH for me means Other Half, I was only doing his paperwork because he has learning difficulties which he said was Dyslexia until I asked if he had been diagnosed. There is the Citizens Advice Bureau over here which can help him. I have point blank refused to help him anymore coz I know there is help out there.
I am stronger! I have pulled myself out of a hole before and I can do it again.
CarolD: Thank you
Thirtybubba: Yes I am in England, OH for me means Other Half, I was only doing his paperwork because he has learning difficulties which he said was Dyslexia until I asked if he had been diagnosed. There is the Citizens Advice Bureau over here which can help him. I have point blank refused to help him anymore coz I know there is help out there.
I am stronger! I have pulled myself out of a hole before and I can do it again.
CarolD: Thank you
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
thirtybubba, I was wondering what OH was too. I had to laugh at Original Husband - good to know that it's Other Half. In my case I have an original husband and a new other half so I guess I can start posting NOH . . . Sorry, been a long day . .
Anyway, greegobeebo, don't beat yourself up for falling off the wagon. I have way too many times. I'm finally relieved of the urge to drink (for today), which is a miracle. Problems just don't get any easier with the bottle. Hope everything works out for you and OH
Anyway, greegobeebo, don't beat yourself up for falling off the wagon. I have way too many times. I'm finally relieved of the urge to drink (for today), which is a miracle. Problems just don't get any easier with the bottle. Hope everything works out for you and OH
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Glad to see you back 'beebo.
Life is full of little 'triggers' the trick is to learn not to pull them - there's no reason good enough to do a U turn.
I found that I needed more than just not drinking and keeping busy, so if you find that too, don't be afraid to ask for suggestions
D
Life is full of little 'triggers' the trick is to learn not to pull them - there's no reason good enough to do a U turn.
I found that I needed more than just not drinking and keeping busy, so if you find that too, don't be afraid to ask for suggestions
D
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