messed up...
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
messed up...
This morning i woke up groggy...but sober....
Had a relapse for about two long weeks. Been smoking everyday at least one joint...often two...
Slap in the face kinda moment. I was so doing pretty well doing the recovery thing...then suddenly...WHAM!!! two weeks are passed and i'm sitting in front of my laptop typing this wondering what the hell happened.
Right now kinda angry at myself, mixed with feeling of contentment for going back at active recovery. I am an addict and i just can't pretend that i'm not.
I gave up smoking sigs about an hour ago....I think they are the worst evil, worse then smoking weed. I had my relapse after quitting sigarettes for about eight days. The amount of stress and negative feelings messed so much with my head it started spinning. Before i knew it I was high staring at the ceiling once more.
anyways, i can't do much about what happened. What's in the past stays in the past. So i'm back....with a stunning sobriety time of one hour.
I'm gonna stay busy for the rest of the day...I still have lot's of things to do since i'm moving out in a week!! In about two weeks i'm at university so i'm gonna i can't affort to get high or lazy anymore.
I'm still young...only 25...altough I messed up so many good things in life there is always a way out. I will not take that first one...and I will definetively not take the last one.
my love to all....
Had a relapse for about two long weeks. Been smoking everyday at least one joint...often two...
Slap in the face kinda moment. I was so doing pretty well doing the recovery thing...then suddenly...WHAM!!! two weeks are passed and i'm sitting in front of my laptop typing this wondering what the hell happened.
Right now kinda angry at myself, mixed with feeling of contentment for going back at active recovery. I am an addict and i just can't pretend that i'm not.
I gave up smoking sigs about an hour ago....I think they are the worst evil, worse then smoking weed. I had my relapse after quitting sigarettes for about eight days. The amount of stress and negative feelings messed so much with my head it started spinning. Before i knew it I was high staring at the ceiling once more.
anyways, i can't do much about what happened. What's in the past stays in the past. So i'm back....with a stunning sobriety time of one hour.
I'm gonna stay busy for the rest of the day...I still have lot's of things to do since i'm moving out in a week!! In about two weeks i'm at university so i'm gonna i can't affort to get high or lazy anymore.
I'm still young...only 25...altough I messed up so many good things in life there is always a way out. I will not take that first one...and I will definetively not take the last one.
my love to all....
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
So are you doing something different this time to stay clean and sober?
It took me many years to finally figure out that if I kept doing the same thing over and over again I would always get the same results.
It took me many years to finally figure out that if I kept doing the same thing over and over again I would always get the same results.
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chepstow
Posts: 359
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
So are you doing something different this time to stay clean and sober?
It took me many years to finally figure out that if I kept doing the same thing over and over again I would always get the same results.
It took me many years to finally figure out that if I kept doing the same thing over and over again I would always get the same results.
Then every now and again you'd tell yourself, 'that's me done, never again' and then a few days later you're back into the old daily routine, till you hit another bottom and say, 'that's me done, never again'... repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, REPEAT....
I hated that cycle with a vengence.
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