Meeting or no meeting?
Herennow,
My biggest thought when I read your post is that you seem to be making the choice not to attend a meeting out of fear that you might be recognized as an alcoholic. Anything, in my experience, done out of fear is suspicious. If you are not sharing your experience and not meeting others like yourself because you are afraid you will be recongized.... I don't know.... that seems strange to me. Maybe I don't know what it's like to live in a small town. I'm not ashamed of being an alcoholic. Nor am I ashamed to be seen attending AA meetings.
I know others might have different, more sympathetic experiences to me. I can imagine it might be uncomfortable at first. But I guess I would work to push past that.
I do go to meetings and I do find an enormous amount of good in them. But I know, at the same time, that there are people who stay sober without them, obviously. I'm not trying to say that we NEED to attend meetings. Just saying that if the reason you're not (and you are curious and kind of want to see what it's like) is because you're afraid of being recognized, then I would examine that because it seems like fear or shame. And when I'm coming from a place of fear or shame, I am tending toward trouble one way or another.
Congratulations on your sober time.
My biggest thought when I read your post is that you seem to be making the choice not to attend a meeting out of fear that you might be recognized as an alcoholic. Anything, in my experience, done out of fear is suspicious. If you are not sharing your experience and not meeting others like yourself because you are afraid you will be recongized.... I don't know.... that seems strange to me. Maybe I don't know what it's like to live in a small town. I'm not ashamed of being an alcoholic. Nor am I ashamed to be seen attending AA meetings.
I know others might have different, more sympathetic experiences to me. I can imagine it might be uncomfortable at first. But I guess I would work to push past that.
I do go to meetings and I do find an enormous amount of good in them. But I know, at the same time, that there are people who stay sober without them, obviously. I'm not trying to say that we NEED to attend meetings. Just saying that if the reason you're not (and you are curious and kind of want to see what it's like) is because you're afraid of being recognized, then I would examine that because it seems like fear or shame. And when I'm coming from a place of fear or shame, I am tending toward trouble one way or another.
Congratulations on your sober time.
Thanks for bringing up the fear and shame angle, fear, shame, and guilt kept me drunk for may a year, I am not going to say I am totally fear free, but fear no longer paralyzes me, shame & guilt for me are a thing of the past, I have AA to thank for all of this.
In looking at my past, when I was drinking I was a DRUNK, I had a fear of everyone knowing I was a DRUNK, I was ashamed of being a DRUNK, I was full of guilt over what I did as a DRUNK!!!!
I am no longer a DRUNK, I am today a recovering alcoholic, a useful part of society as a whole, I have no fear of anyone knowing I am a recovering alcoholic, I have no guilt or shame in being a recovering alcoholic. All of this I gained thanks to the fellowship and program of AA.
In looking at my past, when I was drinking I was a DRUNK, I had a fear of everyone knowing I was a DRUNK, I was ashamed of being a DRUNK, I was full of guilt over what I did as a DRUNK!!!!
I am no longer a DRUNK, I am today a recovering alcoholic, a useful part of society as a whole, I have no fear of anyone knowing I am a recovering alcoholic, I have no guilt or shame in being a recovering alcoholic. All of this I gained thanks to the fellowship and program of AA.
Oh yes there is FEAR, SHAME, GUILT, regret and whatever else you can throw at this addict (so,this allows me to see that I still have work to do). I am an addict - through and through. I think that it is correct to think that I may be heading for trouble by harbouring these feelings. Bottom line: I don't want to F*&K up what I have worked so hard to get - SERENITY (obviously a smaller piece than those who attend meetings but a great deal more peace than what I had) Because this is such a small town there is only one meeting a week - Tuesdays - and I will go. Thank you to everyone who posted their "balls out" honest opinion and pinning me with what I couldn't see about myself - it is exactly what I needed. I will let you kow how it goes.
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Thank you to everyone who posted their "balls out" honest opinion and pinning me with what I couldn't see about myself
Many times someone is having a problem and we share our own experience, strength and hope on how we dealt with the same or a similar problem, usually tying it to a certain step/principle we have learned in AA.
Just keep in mind that what is said there in an AA meeting, stays there, but feel free to take it away in your heart. The same goes for the people you see there, they being there stays there.
One more thing is try to keep a share in a "general" way and not a specific manner. In other words don't say "John Hawkins was really jerking my chain today about his cheating wife" Simply say "A man I know was really jerking my chain today about his cheating wife".
a) Self-appraisal
b) Prayer & Meditation
c) Helping others
These principles can be practiced alone (c requires a pet) or at a meeting but it is much easier to practice in a meeting.
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