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Meeting or no meeting?

Old 08-18-2009, 03:57 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by mle-sober View Post
Herennow,

My biggest thought when I read your post is that you seem to be making the choice not to attend a meeting out of fear that you might be recognized as an alcoholic. Anything, in my experience, done out of fear is suspicious. If you are not sharing your experience and not meeting others like yourself because you are afraid you will be recongized.... I don't know.... that seems strange to me. Maybe I don't know what it's like to live in a small town. I'm not ashamed of being an alcoholic. Nor am I ashamed to be seen attending AA meetings.

I know others might have different, more sympathetic experiences to me. I can imagine it might be uncomfortable at first. But I guess I would work to push past that.

I do go to meetings and I do find an enormous amount of good in them. But I know, at the same time, that there are people who stay sober without them, obviously. I'm not trying to say that we NEED to attend meetings. Just saying that if the reason you're not (and you are curious and kind of want to see what it's like) is because you're afraid of being recognized, then I would examine that because it seems like fear or shame. And when I'm coming from a place of fear or shame, I am tending toward trouble one way or another.

Congratulations on your sober time.
Alright I am going to chime in now because I thought very similarly along the lines of Mle when I read your original post. To each their own, but being limited by fear to the extent that you have never ever set foot in an AA meeting must be difficult. It also means that a part of you is probably ashamed of being an alcoholic. The fear and the shame are two things that I would think examining would make for a happier and more whole life if nothing else.
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Old 08-19-2009, 04:20 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Thanks for bringing up the fear and shame angle, fear, shame, and guilt kept me drunk for may a year, I am not going to say I am totally fear free, but fear no longer paralyzes me, shame & guilt for me are a thing of the past, I have AA to thank for all of this.

In looking at my past, when I was drinking I was a DRUNK, I had a fear of everyone knowing I was a DRUNK, I was ashamed of being a DRUNK, I was full of guilt over what I did as a DRUNK!!!!

I am no longer a DRUNK, I am today a recovering alcoholic, a useful part of society as a whole, I have no fear of anyone knowing I am a recovering alcoholic, I have no guilt or shame in being a recovering alcoholic. All of this I gained thanks to the fellowship and program of AA.
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Old 08-19-2009, 07:32 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Oh yes there is FEAR, SHAME, GUILT, regret and whatever else you can throw at this addict (so,this allows me to see that I still have work to do). I am an addict - through and through. I think that it is correct to think that I may be heading for trouble by harbouring these feelings. Bottom line: I don't want to F*&K up what I have worked so hard to get - SERENITY (obviously a smaller piece than those who attend meetings but a great deal more peace than what I had) Because this is such a small town there is only one meeting a week - Tuesdays - and I will go. Thank you to everyone who posted their "balls out" honest opinion and pinning me with what I couldn't see about myself - it is exactly what I needed. I will let you kow how it goes.
xx
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Old 08-19-2009, 07:59 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Thank you to everyone who posted their "balls out" honest opinion and pinning me with what I couldn't see about myself
You will find that in meetings and working with a sponsor, there were and still are many things I can not see about myself, myself. My sponsor and others in AA help me so much in being honest with myself. It is not judgemental in any way, it is all done with love and understanding. 95% of the time what I learn about myself is what I hear others share about them selfs, I find that when I hear them share about what they found within them selfs I find it in myself as well.

Many times someone is having a problem and we share our own experience, strength and hope on how we dealt with the same or a similar problem, usually tying it to a certain step/principle we have learned in AA.

Just keep in mind that what is said there in an AA meeting, stays there, but feel free to take it away in your heart. The same goes for the people you see there, they being there stays there.

One more thing is try to keep a share in a "general" way and not a specific manner. In other words don't say "John Hawkins was really jerking my chain today about his cheating wife" Simply say "A man I know was really jerking my chain today about his cheating wife".
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Old 08-19-2009, 08:18 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by herennow View Post
I have been following the debate about whether or not one must follow a "program" in order to recover.
There is no doubt in my mind that I need to "follow a program" in order to stay sober. When I was a truck driver I had to go for weeks at a time without a day off or chance to get to a meeting. But I made sure that I followed a daily program:

a) Self-appraisal
b) Prayer & Meditation
c) Helping others

These principles can be practiced alone (c requires a pet) or at a meeting but it is much easier to practice in a meeting.
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