Need to Lay Off
 

Hi there,

I don't know if anybody remembers my original post, but basically I'm a 20 year old male who has in the past been out of control with vodka but these days just stick to moderately drinking cider/lager. However, I am prone to mistakes and yesterday was one of them.

I drank far too much and knew it and felt awful about myself when I was drunk, in that awful state when you can't go back. I have purposely not drank anything today. I feel as if I need to lay off for a while at least.

I've been good today, but I get the sickening feeling tomorrow and the third day will be really awful. I'm trying my best, I don't want my life to get out of control again.

Thanks for listening! :c033:

Hi Silence. In AA there is a challenge to go 30 days without drinking. The general consensus is if you can do this with no issues you are not alcoholic. you might thing about this.

Keep posting if you need support, there are a lot of great people here.

I can't just "lay off for awhile", drinking again isn't an option. One sip kickstarts the phenomenon of craving and I'm off to the races, I'm on a single track to oblivion. There's really no question of whether or not my life will get out of control, it's just a matter of time before it does if I decide to drink.

Welcome back, how about sticking around and staying sober one day at a time?

My body's chemistry underwent a permanent change through years of drinking.

One drink now and I awaken the 'sleeping dragon' within me, and that m'f'er is THIRSTY, lol...!

Once it gets started it doesn't want to stop. ;)

I suspect you'll find the same is true with you.

The dragon sleeps unless provoked with alcohol.

Thanks for the replies guys, it means a lot really, this is a great place.

I understand what you are saying, that is if you pop you can't stop! I'm not normally like that, but I know for certain I have been down that road in the past. I feel almost guilty for posting like this and not just saying NEVER AGAIN!

Like I said I think I'll lay off for a while, each step at a time I suppose.

I think it's good to recognise that you possibly have a problem at your age; you're obviously a bright bloke.

At your age I drank till I was oblivious at every given opportunity and didn't realise that this wasn't normal behavior. I obviously wasn't a bright bloke.

But don't think that because you're only 20 you can't be an alcoholic; we've got quite a few young people in my homegroup AA and I remember thinking, 'No way, you're far to young to be an alcoholic', but when I heard some of their shares; they wouldn't have made it to my age the way they were drinking; I mean one of them used to take drugs so he could force more alcohol down his kneck. I just used to pass out at some point; the lightweight I am!

Good luck, and at least consider the 30 day thing; you've nothing to lose?

I don't use my age as an excuse, I have been at a much worse state in the past than I am now and that was likely at 19. I would like to think that one day I could be a person who could be a casual drinker when in social climate but I don't feel I'm at that point yet. Obviously it's just a matter of trial and error and if I feel I cannot be like that I would have to give up completely.

As I said when I began, I just feel I need to lay off for a while at least, I could always take it day by day to week or hopefully month. It's at the point that while I drink to relax or escape, I am only angry at myself afterwards.

Thanks for the reply.

Hey, Silence. Welcome, if I haven't said it yet.

Other than that, I got this to say: if you think you have a problem, it's worth trying that 30-days of sobriety idea. That ought to make your problem /not problem clearer, and you really have nothing to lose. And this is coming from someone who is not currently very happy with a certain step-based program towards sobriety. I mean, if it's not a problem, 30 days won't be a problem. Otherwise, now you know where you stand, proceed as such.

And don't think that you can't be alcoholic at a young age. I'm almost 30, been drunk 2/3 my life--and yes, that means that at age 20 my small self could probably outdrink half the people in your town, male or female. Be careful, people. Alcohol is in fact your everyday average neighborhood murderer--I found that out the day I got a certain cross-border state's ambulance to deal with the fact that I should have died but didn't on a ill-advised withdrawal.

Another one of them here. As much as I loved alcohol, I loved even more the way that alcohol could become even better by introducing drugs to taper the negative side-effects that come with the buzz ie - sleepiness, general loss of sensory functions etc
Alcohol has the natural fail-safe machanism of that of rendering you unconscious after a certain quantity, however by adding stimulants I was able to stay wide-awake for days and thus keep the booze flowing continuously and drink ridiculous quantities. I never managed to work out whether I found this safer/less destructive than just drinking alone and getting blackout/passout drunk and all the problems that brings.
My joke used to be that to stop obesity in this country then they out to get the obese people to go on a 3 day drink/drug bender, I swear I used to lose about half a stone or more on them benders. Crazy times.

Still paying the price mindyou with my Sinuses and nose. Been really suffering the last few days with general f*cked up sinuses from all of the sh*t I stuck up there.

dgillz,

I respect your posts, so please don't take this as a criticism, but I don't believe your statement is supported by the Big Book. The BB states that most alcoholics (those to whom this book will appeal) will be unable to stay sober anything like a year.

My experience (observation) is that almost anyone can hold their breath for a month. I would not use that as a basis for determining alcoholism. The controlled drinking experiment (also not specifically supported by the BB) of two drinks per day, every day, no more no less, for a month is a far better test of the craving phenomenon.

Shoot, dgillz, I see folks all the time under the right judicial controlled system stay dry for two years. When threatened with jail, tested random every few days, intensive counseling, most of the diversion/drug court folks stay dry for a year or more without difficulty. And most of them go right back to drinking after they are released from that program.

Here is what the BB suggest:

After the above it goes on to say:
The last 5 years of my drinking a day was not possible.

I would highly reccommend reading this entire chapter if you are wondering http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf There is a lot of stuff in that chapter I can attest to first hand. In my mid 20's I quit for a year and a half and returned to it again with a vengance.

If you keep repeating the same actions, but expecting to eventually get it right, you may have some other problems than just the occasional guilt & shame. If you can continue believing that you do not have a problem, despite the evidence that there really is a problem, you may need more help than you originally thought. Ultimatly, the choice to drink or not drink is yours and yours alone. Likewise, the choice to recover is yours and yours alone.
i hope that you make healthy choices that will improve the quality of your life.

Keep going, you have been good today, go for tomorrow, good luck.

Thanks, I could use a drink to relax tonight, just one or two, but I haven't.

Hi silence

I had trouble getting my head around 'forever' too.

I took things a day a time - committing to not drinking 'today'....I decided maybe forever wasn't so bad after all...but whatever you ultimately decide, aiming for some time off can't be bad :)

D

While I agree that 30 days is not mentioned in the BB, it is pretty common in AA, regardless. And the "controlled drinking" experiment is most definitely mentioned in the BB as Tazman quoted.

In terms of going 30 days, I think it is safe to assume the OP silence208 is not under any of the judicial restraints you mentioned, and as such, the 30 day challenge may well be quite applicable.

Yeah, dgillz, it might be. Then again, I'd hate to tell someone that if they can make it 30 days, they probably don't have a problem. I see lots of people who really do have a problem able to go a month. For instance, how many one month chips do you see handed out in AA? Then, how many of those folks make it to a year?

My personal experience is that I could go a month or two without a whole lot of difficulty for quite a long time. Not at the end of my drinking, but for a few years prior. It was almost exciting and pleasant to stay sober for a couple months. It justified that I didn't have a problem. The reality was, I had a big problem, and a month sober did not fully reveal that to me. But, I was pretty adept at rationalizing.

No argument with you. I'd just rather stick to the one year criteria from the BB. Or the controlled drinking I mentioned. Almost no real alcoholic can pull that off for a month.

I can understand both sides of the argument, I would say somebody who could go 30 days is doing well but it all depends if after that period they can have two drinks and not twenty or more.

Just on a sidenote, I'm on day 3 and feeling good at the minute. Thanks again for the comments people.

A question if I may, if you are doing something that makes you feel good and also makes you feel good about yourself why would you quit doing it?

Like I said, I'm trying. I'll try to stay sober for a period to see if I can do it or to prove to myself that I can do it.