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What if one does not wish to stop drinking

Old 08-17-2009, 07:50 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tommyk View Post
I don't think anyone 'deserves' it, and I see alot of my former self in your posts.

You're got some serious issues to face, and it appears that alcohol is not the problem, but maybe alcohol was possibly a proposed temporary solution for a problem?

The DUI saved your life, huh? Good. How come you got saved? Is there anything you could offer to people like yourself in the way of advice? The world needs people like you who have experienced the pain you have. You have a lot to share with others in the same boat. Count your blessings, and then think about being there for others.

Keep coming back.

I actually had something to my head when I was pulled over. Not going into the details other than I maybe had a couple of shots of rum when I got pulled over. Because I was agitated and suicidal the cops said I refused, which I did not. Didnt matter, people on here still say I'll deserve it. Had a one year suspension, at least 1000 grand in fines, lawyer costs, mandatory alcohol highway safety school. All because I was suicidal and had a couple shots. Yet I deserve it. How dare I be suicidal. By he way,
The cops smashed my face into the curb breaking my glasses, dragged me accross the concrete bloodying my knees and dislocated my shoulder. Guess I deserved it, right?

Served me right. There is a lot fo self humiliation and self hatred which I refuse to partake in. No offense to you at all. And I apprectaie your reply. This is mainly for the "judgement" crowd here to see.
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Old 08-17-2009, 07:54 PM
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Originally Posted by flutter View Post
It's not complicated.. you drove drunk, you deserve the punishment. Sucks you were suicidal, hopefully you're getting help for that too.

So.. I'll ask again since you haven't answered.. why are you here?
Im sorry, I can't respond to judgmental posts without (biting my tongue). And Im here because I want to be here. Judge not lest ye be judged is so passe'.
Thanks
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Old 08-17-2009, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by tallcactus View Post
Notof..,
I had 2 DUI's in a span of 15 years, both under the legal limit, this state is tough!
But, I want to add, that I could of killed someone and I'am so grateful!! I'am so blessed! Do U want or need that in the future...
I feel your anger, that is good, but, this is a wake up call.....
Stay strong.
I hear what you are saying, but I did not hurt anything or anyone. If people do then it should be an extenuating circumstance in a DUI homicide then. I dont make it a point to drink and drive.
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Old 08-17-2009, 08:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Rad44 View Post
Why bother coming to a Sober Recovery website at all then? You'll probably not get much sympathy for thinking you don't deserve your DUI and the penaltites associated with it.
I suppose I have to exacty like minded then to want to be here. Surely everyone who has ever come here were completely accepting of everying that is "sobriety".
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Old 08-17-2009, 08:46 PM
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Once I got my DWI, I was court ordered to go to AA meetings. I went halfheartedly, and stopped when it was no longer required of me legally. But once I did truly want to get sober, I knew what AA and recovery programs were about in general, and could use that information willingly.
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Old 08-17-2009, 08:51 PM
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Notofeudalism,

I think what people are trying to figure out is are you here seeking help and encouragement or what? I am sorry you went through a hard time and that you were suicidal and treated like sh*it from the cops, BUT in all honesty, a minute amount of alcohol can impair your judgement (and yes, talking on the phone, texting, being tired etc etc can do the same as well), alcoholic or not, so I am glad you were pulled over. I would want my own self to be pulled over as well...anyway...Do you wanna talk about why you were suicidal? Are you getting some help?

~Jade
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Old 08-17-2009, 08:52 PM
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I drove drunk, did not care about anyone but myself, wanted to get more beer!! How insane is that.
Yes, the cops did treat U bad, that was not necessary. They treated me well, I was an ass...LOL.
Cost me way more, both times, not just the MONEY, but my self-repect and filled with shame and remorse... I COULD OF KILLED someone.
I know U feel U do not deserve this, but there R laws...........
Stay strong! Do U personally think that maybe U have a problem? Hey, maybe U don't.
I do and I will never drink again, staying in the day, keeping it simple........
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Old 08-17-2009, 08:52 PM
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Originally Posted by matt88 View Post
Once I got my DWI, I was court ordered to go to AA meetings. I went halfheartedly, and stopped when it was no longer required of me legally. But once I did truly want to get sober, I knew what AA and recovery programs were about in general, and could use that information willingly.
I will say whatever you think works. The telling part is "but once I did truly want to get sober".

I dont need a doorknob or the flying spaghetti monster to tell me that, but to each his own. Im sorry but I cant get into AA and wont debate about it.
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Old 08-17-2009, 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Jade19 View Post
Notofeudalism,

I think what people are trying to figure out is are you here seeking help and encouragement or what? I am sorry you went through a hard time and that you were suicidal and treated like sh*it from the cops, BUT in all honesty, a minute amount of alcohol can impair your judgement (and yes, talking on the phone, texting, being tired etc etc can do the same as well), alcoholic or not, so I am glad you were pulled over. I would want my own self to be pulled over as well...anyway...Do you wanna talk about why you were suicidal? Are you getting some help?

~Jade

This really is a sobriety board, not a mental health board, but if you want to know I can go into detail. And yes I have been drinking heavily for a long time and it is part of it.
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Old 08-17-2009, 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted by notofeudalism View Post
I will say whatever you think works. The telling part is "but once I did truly want to get sober".

I dont need a doorknob or the flying spaghetti monster to tell me that, but to each his own. Im sorry but I cant get into AA and wont debate about it.
Oh, I don't go to AA meetings, mainly out of laziness. This place functions in the same capacity for me as meetings right now. But the Big Book has been a good read.
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Old 08-17-2009, 08:57 PM
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Originally Posted by tallcactus View Post
I drove drunk, did not care about anyone but myself, wanted to get more beer!! How insane is that.
Yes, the cops did treat U bad, that was not necessary. They treated me well, I was an ass...LOL.
Cost me way more, both times, not just the MONEY, but my self-repect and filled with shame and remorse... I COULD OF KILLED someone.
I know U feel U do not deserve this, but there R laws...........
Stay strong! Do U personally think that maybe U have a problem? Hey, maybe U don't.
I do and I will never drink again, staying in the day, keeping it simple........

What the cops did to me was criminal, but most will overlook that ad say I deserved it. Irony is lost here unfortunately. Laws for me but not for thee. The point is I DID NOT KILL anyone. The law is an azz, to quote Mark Twain. But most wont question here I suppose. And life goes on, such as it is.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:01 PM
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
No, I never said it was about intent. It is about actions and consequences. Drunk driving is a crime. You did it, therefore, you committed a crime and you are paying the consequences. You can spin it any way you want, but you got what you deserved. You can be pizzed off about it, or you can learn a lesson and be vigilant to not let it happen again.
""After all, those who did drive drunk and hurt or killed someone didn't intend to do it. Something to think about.""

I think you forgot your irony tag.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:02 PM
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I know this is not a mental health board, but in one way or another we all have our own emotional demons we deal with. Sorry for asking man. I wish you tons of luck!!! Hope to see you around =)

~Rebecca
aka Jade
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:05 PM
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Originally Posted by matt88 View Post
Oh, I don't go to AA meetings, mainly out of laziness. This place functions in the same capacity for me as meetings right now. But the Big Book has been a good read.
Like I said Im trying to be respectful. I cant debate about AA without exposing it and possibly hurting other's feelings who believe and have faith in it.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Jade19 View Post
I know this is not a mental health board, but in one way or another we all have our own emotional demons we deal with. Sorry for asking man. I wish you tons of luck!!! Hope to see you around =)

~Rebecca
aka Jade

Thanks, and I have no prob discussing why I was suicidal, if ou want to know.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:13 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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A few things:

1. Unfortunately cops mistreat people often and there is rarely something that can be done which is wrong but the way things work (I used to work at a criminal defense law firm) so the best you can do for yourself with that is let it go. It may be hard but you will get no justice.

2. You have to go to AA right? Court mandated and you are angry about that. I would have been to. I am very much a girl who has to do things my own way. However, if I would rather go to AA than go to jail. So that being said you may as well make the best of it. You say you were suicidal and that the drinking had something to do with it. I bet if you go to an AA meeting and sit down and share with the room, I know this will be extremely hard, that you attempted suicide, you will be in utter shock at how many others have had similar experiences in the room. Or if you don't want to share something that personal with a room full of strangers you may as well sit and listen to people's experiences. Forget about buying the program or accepting the rules for now, just listen and see if anything seems similar to your experiences. I don't know, you have to go, why not at least try to get something out of it.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:20 PM
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Originally Posted by sfgirl View Post
A few things:

1. Unfortunately cops mistreat people often and there is rarely something that can be done which is wrong but the way things work (I used to work at a criminal defense law firm) so the best you can do for yourself with that is let it go. It may be hard but you will get no justice.

2. You have to go to AA right? Court mandated and you are angry about that. I would have been to. I am very much a girl who has to do things my own way. However, if I would rather go to AA than go to jail. So that being said you may as well make the best of it. You say you were suicidal and that the drinking had something to do with it. I bet if you go to an AA meeting and sit down and share with the room, I know this will be extremely hard, that you attempted suicide, you will be in utter shock at how many others have had similar experiences in the room. Or if you don't want to share something that personal with a room full of strangers you may as well sit and listen to people's experiences. Forget about buying the program or accepting the rules for now, just listen and see if anything seems similar to your experiences. I don't know, you have to go, why not at least try to get something out of it.

I will adress your 2nd point first. I have been to dozens of AA meetings. They are a religious cult. They have been deemed as such by the US Supreme Court and people can not be forced to go to the. I will leave it at that.

Your first point makes me very sad. Just let aggravated assault go? Its that it? It was criminal and why you have millions of people who are very angry and, well I will not say any more about what. It is attitudes such as yours that perpetuate the police state and police abuses, and they are fought everyay successfully.
I will not sit here and listen about how I deserve everything I get, yet be told a police beating is a-ok and just just be forgotten about. Perhaps then my DUI should be forgotten about. I can't stand blatant hypocrisy and ignorance. Sorry.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:41 PM
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This is a peer support forum for those who want support for recovery from addcition. We are not here to debate about outside agendas.

Debating whether laws are right or wrong is outside the scope of this forum.
Debating whether court ordered treatment is right or wrong is outside the scope of this forum.
Debating whether a recovery program is right or wrong is also outside the scope of this forum.

We are here to give help and get help. There are many forums so you should be able to find one that is comfortable. If not there are other recovery forums that might fit your needs better.

There is nothing anyone can do here to change your circumstances.
There are many here who will offer support if you decide to quit drinking.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory View Post
This is a peer support forum for those who want support for recovery from addcition. We are not here to debate about outside agendas.

Debating whether laws are right or wrong is outside the scope of this forum.
Debating whether court ordered treatment is right or wrong is outside the scope of this forum.
Debating whether a recovery program is right or wrong is also outside the scope of this forum.

We are here to give help and get help. There are many forums so you should be able to find one that is comfortable. If not there are other recovery forums that might fit your needs better.

There is nothing anyone can do here to change your circumstances.
There are many here who will offer support if you decide to quit drinking.
Thanks, then why are other free to post about it until I question it? I see those topics and more on every thread being debated. You banned me from chat, why not others who bring up similar topics? I am comfortable here talking, unless I am not to question posts that tell me that I deserve what I get. I didnt ask to have my circumstances changed. I have thanked people for their support here and not everybody comes immediately deciding to quit drinking.
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Old 08-17-2009, 09:53 PM
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Originally Posted by notofeudalism View Post
I will adress your 2nd point first. I have been to dozens of AA meetings. They are a religious cult. They have been deemed as such by the US Supreme Court and people can not be forced to go to the. I will leave it at that.

Your first point makes me very sad. Just let aggravated assault go? Its that it? It was criminal and why you have millions of people who are very angry and, well I will not say any more about what. It is attitudes such as yours that perpetuate the police state and police abuses, and they are fought everyay successfully.
I will not sit here and listen about how I deserve everything I get, yet be told a police beating is a-ok and just just be forgotten about. Perhaps then my DUI should be forgotten about. I can't stand blatant hypocrisy and ignorance. Sorry.
I don't understand. Your original post said that you had been mandated to attend AA. I thought that too about the supreme court. I was going off of what you said. And regardless of what you think of the structure and program of AA (I did not get sober in AA— I understand AA reservations) that does not invalidate people's experiences that they share in those rooms.

You are hearing things I did not say. I didn't say you deserved the way the police treated you or that it was right. I just think that fighting it is an uphill battle. I have seen people try to file complaints against police for similar things and it is completely ignored. In any case if you wish to proceed against the police the best thing that can help you is full compliance with your criminal case and presenting yourself as sober, I would think. Picking my battles has been something I have learned in recovery. Some things are more about me being right than actual justice. It is a fine line. I can't make that judgment for you.

All that being said, I don't mind someone who is undecided about sobriety on SR, in fact I welcome it, but it is frustrating to have someone without a clear question who is antagonizing to suggestions and offers of help and advice.
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