I have a question...
 

I must say I am a bit nevous to post my question...but here goes!

I am currently about three and a half months sober and in AA. Even in the short time, my life has been restored to more normalcy (and a better, more honest life than I have had in the last five years, since I had begun drinking).

I am enormously grateful to God and AA and all the people (in the program and my family) for their support and patience. Overall, I feel like I have had a decent time in early sobriety (few cravings, a reconnection to God and others, a growing sanity etc...).

And, here's my however. No matter how much I pray or force myself to do it (i.e. 'the 90 lb phone'), picking up the phone (other than with a few women I have become friendly with in AA and my sponsor) causes a lot of anxiety. My sponsor's suggestion is that I call 2-3 people every day (whether I am having an issue or not). I realize that this builds relationships, gets me out of myself, allows me to connect to other alcoholics and will help when really tough times hit etc...but it feels very awkward (especially to call someone and have a bit of a fit that my feet hurt after work). I usually say something to my sponsor or talk to my family (with whom I am very close).

The thing is is that I go to meetings regularly (speak to people, help out etc..), speak to my sponsor regularly and am working on the Steps...but I occaisionally (1-2 times a week) do fellowship and call (or text) another alcoholic 3-5 times a week.

I only mention all of this because my sponsor is very big on the phone call to others thing (daily) and a lot of fellowship. And I am having trouble with this (praying that I would be more willing to be willing to take the suggestion, if that makes sense). Anyway, I feel like all of this is taking up a lot of psychic energy. Otherwise, things are peaceful and I am very grateful.

Anyway, thanks for listening (this ended up much longer than expected). I realize this may seem like a petty thing, but it is driving me a little crazy.

Blessings and peace:)

I don't use AA in my recovery, but a lot of folks around here do.. You'll get some great insight here in a bit.

Just wanted to welcome you to SR! :)

My sponsor was the same way. Trust your instinct...do what is right for you. I no longer attend aa but wanted to let you know that I could identify with your situation. I followed my gut and reaped the rewards.

How about, getting some phone numbers of those just coming into the program? ie with less time than you.

Then you can call them and ask "how are YOU doing today? How was YOUR day?"

You will be doing as your sponsor asked, making 2 or 3 calls a day to other her, and you don't have to talk about your problems with them, ask them about theirs.

See you will doing your "be of service to others" and fulfilling your sponsor's request. How's that for 'killing 2 birds with one stone'? lol

It becomes easier with a lot less anxiety, when we are calling to see how someone else is doing rather than calling someone to talk about ourselves.

J M H O

Welcome to sobriety!!!!!

Love and hugs,

Making phone calls = helping others.

When you're not doing it for yourself it becomes easier to do. ;)

You just made me realise that my new friend from AA, with 7 years sober, is doing that to me lol and he's meeting me at my complex swimming pool tomorrow too, so he's doing service, doing what OUR sponsor tells him and getting a swim to boot...

bt1978, i'm still in early recovery so will just say hello and welcome:-)

Hi Im Sharon and Im an alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and people
like u here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely grateful.

Being sober is so much better than
being on a merry-go-round that u cant
seem to get off of.

You will recieve many suggestions of
what works for different people's
situations. all we can do is share
our own experiences, strengths and
hopes of similar situations.

For me, i attend meetings visit there
with folks then head home for peace
and quiet. Im not much for hanging
out with folks. I appreciate my own
time i spend alone and with my husband
and pets.

Ive worked in retail so ive had my time
with people and noise. Ive raised my
kids, so i enjoy solitude.

I enjoy riding as a passanger with my
spouse on our Harley on the open road.

That's the freedom I so enjoy and
appreciate in recovery.

People have come and gone in my life
and all that's left is me myself and I.

In recovery i am grateful for so much
and to have a second chance in life
to give away what was so freely passed
on to me all these yrs. is more than i
can ask for.

And i give away lots of my ESH right
here on SR in the comforts of my home
where it is peaceful and quiet.

I don't need to know about people
business or personal life so talking
and hanging out isnt that important
to me in my sober life.

The open road, my faith and a recovery
program keeps me content and happy
and sober one day at a time.

And that's how it works for me.

Hi,

Welcome!

I don't use AA, but I am glad that you are seeking support.

As it was explained to me, the purpose of the suggestion, by sponsors, that we newcomers make 'X' number of calls per day was so that if/when the time arrose when we 'needed' to call/reach out for help, by then, hopefully, most of my anxiety/fear regarding that 'heavy' phone and those folks on the other end of the line will have receded a bit.

One of the first suggestions my sponsor gave me was to get at least two new phone numbers at each meeting I attended, and to make three calls every day (and talking to answering machines did NOT count). Well, let me tell you, the last thing I wanted to do was be conversating with the folks I met at meetings. I did, however, find an 'easier, softer way,' at least for up until I could have real conversations with those at the other end of the line.....lol

......and that 'easier, softer way' was (when a live person answered), all I had to do/say was, "Hi, this is ________ (insert your name here, or u kin use mine; makes me no nevah mind), and this is just one of my AA calls for the day," and then I immediately hung-up.......! see......? ......simple ......and I just love simple.

After a bit of just this convo, I started adding a bit more, but even with just this minimal, I found that I was could be helping others......: one time, before I could hang-up, the person on the other end said, "Wow, perfect timing...!! I was just sitting here with a nice, big bottle of beer, contemplating whether to drink or not."

I just wanted to say hi and no its not a petty thing... if its important to you then its not petty...

I get what you mena about picking up the phone though.... and i think lauries suggestion is a good one...

I use SR as my daily contact and also one person who is in AA... i laugh cos i have aholine to her... i bought a new phone that just has her number in it cos its free calls... it can cost a fortune making calls every day...

Anyway... just wanted to say hi and welcome you to SR

Hello and welcome to the Sober Recovery community.
Thank you for staying committed to your recovery!
It's encouraging to hear of your progress today.

Why not "dedicate" 15 minutes a day to making calls?
Something simple...."It's bt1978 thinking of you. Let's both
have another blessed day"
That would brighten my day to hear.....:yup:

Welcome to our recovery community
:yup:

Thanks everyone for your suggestions...Many ideas to ponder and draw upon:)

have you discussed it with your sponsor?....

have you told him/her you got a problem with it.?

id struggle with it and i would run out of things to say.

then id start talking about problems rather than solutions

how about you get together a step study group...and stay in contact by phone..?

group of newcomers and maybe someone thats completed the steps at least once...

me and some pals do this......sharing thoughts and feedback....

its good stuff and keeps us all with a common talking point.

gets a bit heated sometimes though ..lol

every now and then we take our big books and go fishing for a couple of days........its a scream.