effortjoy

Day 6 (in the middle of my 30 day commitment to being sober) I hate eating and even the thought of eating without drinking. I never ate dinner without having wine before hand, and now I find that I have no desire to eat. We need to host a party tomorrow night and allI keep thinking is: how can I serve salmon without the bottles of Chardonnay? How can we have a dinner table without Merlot and after dinner drinks? Not to mention the cocktails before hand. My husband doesn't think that it matters to have an alcohol free dinner, but that is because he never drinks and hates the taste. I am committed to staying the course through this 30 day commitment, but does relating to food get easier? Even dishes I used to love seem pointless now- I think I am coming to the realization that food was always a side point. I probably could have just had the wine for dinner and skipped the meal altogether.

Tazman53

Congrats on 6 days sober, notice any thing different when you wake up in the morning?

You bet it does! I actually enjoy the flavors and texture of food today, rather then just wanting to get through dinner to drink more.

I am an alcoholic and as my alcoholism progressed the food really did not matter any more, I drank more and ate less! Eating always slowed down the buzz, not eating let the booze hit me harder and quicker!

Bamboozle

Hello, ej.

I've always loved food, but the only reason I ate when I was drinking was to slow down absorbtion. I'd get really tanked and then gorge myself with bad food.

Try making yourself some tasty non-alcoholic drink. Use different fruits...fresh fruits. There are many recipes for non-boozy beverages. Add a little club soda. The blender can be your friend.

Yum...salmon. I know it's hard, but try to focus on what you have right in front of you rather than what you can't have. Give your new habits a chance to stick. With a little time it will get easier. Hang in there.

tommyk

It's good to see you realizing how much control alcohol had and/or has over your life.

Those kind of realizations enabled me to learn to hate alcohol.

Relapse is a choice, cravings are lies.

The food is the same, Effort, enjoy it. That's reality.

Dee74

I absolutely agree with everyone else here - my palate came back when I got sober.
Food is no longer a chore or just some necessity, it's a joy again.

It's day 6, effortjoy - give it time

D

smacked

That is also likely because he is not an alcoholic.

When I first read your post, I kinda laughed... I used to think food totally got in the way of my drinking.. I didn't want it to soak up the liquor. You're saying two things here, that you can't imagine this fabulous food without liquor.. but then that it'd almost be preferable to you to skip the food entirely for the liquor.

When we take a step back, it is rather interesting to see how completely entwined we were (are) and dependent we were (are) on this stuff..

I love food now.. but drinking never enhanced my food, it just got me tipsy and eventually drunk, I don't remember the food from many dinner parties as well as I remember the wine. Sad.

Philly

Yes it will get better but it will be a hard thing to do. I didn't have dinner parties but I went out to fine restauants alot. It was the hardest part for me to see others enjoying their wine. Do your dinner quests drink? I had Christmas eve at my house and we only had wine and beer. My favorite drink was a cosmo so they are still the hardest for me to see. You are doing real well in identifing the triggers. Perrier water or club with lime was what I ordered. Good luck and stay strong. Thirty days is quite an accomplishment. My husband still drinks very heavy and I'm sure he could not do 30 days but again he wouldn't even try it.

Anna

We never serve alcohol in our house, nor do we ever keep alcohol in the house. That just makes life easier for me.

I think you are going through a period of adjustment right now, and your interest in food will return.

BreakFree

I am not able to tell you, as I have no more experience with this as you do, but I can really, really relate to your thoughts. Last night we went out for dinner and I did not even try to resist the temptation. Each restaurant we go to carries a dish that is accompanied by a favorite drink of choice. I cannot imagine not having a drink when we go out to dinner. I want to, but at this point, I still can't imagine it. Last night, as I ordered dinner, I was tempted by dessert. I told myself that I was NOT going to order a second drink so that I would have room. Well, not only did I order the second drink, but by the time dessert rolled around, I told my husband I would have almost rather have had a third drink than dessert. How quickly my thoughts change! An AHA! moment for sure...I wish I could offer some really good, helpful advice, but at this point, I can only say I can SO RELATE.

I am not suggesting you don't have dinner parties, but I know that for me, at this point, I am probably going to have to avoid as many situations where I am tempted to drink as possible. At least until I become stronger...and I have a long way to go :(

Rad44

Congratulations. You figured it out. This is (one in a long line of) deceptions your Alcoholic brain will play on you. It's all about the Food, when in fact no, it's all about the alcohol. I used to do the same thing with watching Football. I was so excited when Football games were on but it was really only an excuse to get drunk. One time I drank an entire 12 pack before the end of the 1st quarter without even realizing it. I wouldn't even remember the games or who won (sometimes not even who played).

When I got sober I thought "How can I ever enjoy watching Football again?". The truth is I enjoy them ten times more than before. It was the Alcohol that was preventing me from enjoying the Games not enabling me to enjoy them. To me there isn't a single pleasurable activity (sex included) that Alcohol doesn't make worse if not ruin entirely. Those revalations only came true for me after I realized that my Alcoholic brain had been lying to me all along.

NEOMARXIST

You will have to learn to accept that drink isn't an option anymore if you are to stay quit from booze. Is that what you want? To never have booze in your life again?

It sounds like you are trying to find reasons why you can't quit. I was the same for years. It was weekend ritual for me and my boys to get wasted in Town and then go for a curry at a curry house at 3AM and drink pints of Lager with it and chat B*llocks and laughing and joking with all the others doing the same thing.

Thats long into the past now, I'm glad I had all those experiences as they were truly high-times. But they are times that I accept that I can't have again. I started taking way toomany drugs as well as drink so I had no appetite anymore anyway.

You have to decide whats more important to you, drinking a nice glass of fermented grape juice with your salmon or a nice glass of grape juice with your salmon. It's fairly simple but very difficult if you make it.

Mark75

I think I fall into a middle zone category...

Going out to dinner always meant a drink or two. Truthfully, I would also have one before we went out... The Margaritas at Applebey's, the Beer at Outback, Wine at a fine restaurant. Non alcoholics enjoy the interplay of tastes between food and drink... well... alcoholics do/did too!! My wife never orders a drink when we go out , never has.... and it wasn't for lack of me trying to get her to... maybe split a bottle of wine, that sort of thing... Now when we go out, I'm so glad she doesn't...

I think it's OK to mourn that loss... It was part of the experience for me, part of what made going out to dinner special... But it's a loss that has to happen if I am going to get recovered... It's encouraging to see my wife, and usually a fair number of people around us, having a special time out to dinner with only water or soda in front of them, instead of a drink....

So, as part of my recovery, I will acknowledge that loss, and just remind myself that in so many other areas in my life, sobriety is a truly positive thing... and is not a loss, but a net gain. For me, denial that drinks with dinner was part of the fun blocks me from truly getting recovered... I want to deal with it, not just bury or repress the memory.

And that is just OK with me!! and... BTW... It gets better, lots better... I have a good time going out to dinner without it.

Mark

shaun00

i knew id find me in there somewhere.

booze and food didnt go together for me...

why ruin the effect of alcohol by drowning it with food...

thats shows me how powerful and deadly alcoholism is.

humans should have a natural instinct to eat right?......not when booze was on the menu for me.

thanks smacked.

coffeenut

I, too, used to be more concerned about the alcohol than food. Didn't really care what I ate so long as I started with a chocolate martini.

Never had dessert, as alcohol was my dessert (and entree and...well, you get it).

I'm amazed at how good food tastes and how I look forward to a nice meal now. The longer I'm sober, the better food tastes. Which in turn is amazing me at how healthy I really am. It's just part of those baby steps that all come together that make sobriety so completely worth it.

tallcactus

Yes, found myself in there too.
Love food now, but when I was drinking, yes, I did not eat well, found myself eating to sober up, so I could drive to the store, to get my beer. HOW INSANE IS THAT?
Stay strong.

hendershot

good to see you again effortjoy. try not to get hung up on the wine at dinner stuff. you don't need to be thinking about never having wine with food ever again, just not today. please let us know how you do. good luck.

Quse56

Mmmmm... food.

A nice glass of chardonany was relief, not a pleasant accompaniment to a meal. I liked the "taste of alcohol" just as I liked the "smell of cocaine". All lies to get me back to using/drinking.

yeahgr8

Food became an absolute inconvenience when i was drinking, why the hell would i want to eat, that will just make me feel rough lol how insane is that?! In fact that would just ruin the drinking completely! You will get back to enjoying eating, don't know if that will happen in 30 days, do 300 to make sure:-)

Postitive note on your post is your husband doesn't drink, there are tonnes of posts here where the partner carries on drinking shitloads whilst the other tries to work on their recovery!

lauraandersen4

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NewBeginning010

There are many hidden meanings behind that "." Laura

There are a lot of non alcoholic beverages that you can start making to match your meals. There must be a website... hold on!

Here are some Non-alcoholic recipes: 700+ appetizing drink recipes.