Aysha

Well all..I am officially a student! I just got home from registering and finacial aid is approved so far.
I start Sept 21st.
I got really emotional talking with the advisor. Because I was so uncertain and told her where my life has been for the past 16 yrs. She was so understanding and compassionate. I couldnt even believe it. She was so encouraging. And made me feel really proud for being there.
It didnt hit me until I walked out of that building and had my folder in hand. I felt like a human for the first time in so long. I felt so proud and accomplished. I felt like I mattered for once.
I am starting to cry again.
I have talked a hell of a talk for so long. And now I am actually doing something. Something life changing. And even if I dont follow a career path with this. If I make it til the end. I will have at least accomplished something positive and good in my life. Something because I wanted to. Something on my own.

I am taking Digital graphic design and media arts.
I expressed my fear of not having that passion and creativity I once had in school as a teen with art. And she told me people never lose that.

I cant explain into words how I am feeling right now. I have so many good awesome feelings surging my mind and body right now.
I had to come share with my SR fam. Because thats what you all are. My family. Along with my blood family. You all have stood by me. Believed in me and never gave up when I wanted to.
I can never tell you how much I will forever remember that.
I have been filling my days staying active. Working, Joined the YMCA yesterday. I have been reading every night. And I am so addicted to facebook now it isnt even funny.
I have reconnected with my old best friends from school. One which I did very wrong with my addiction about 10 yrs ago. Her and her family were like my seond family. She was like my sister and I betrayed her. And her having a sister who is addicted and her living with things like I did ot her all her life with her sister. I have never fully forgiven myself for what I did. It is a pain I have carried with me for a long time.
I am such a true believer that everything happens for a reason. And here lately. Alot of positive things have happened. Some on their own. And some with help from others and some on my own.
But howeveer these things happen. It is all for a reasona nd as time passes. I see that they all connect in some way. Connect to make a bigger picture.

I do believe I am at a very big turning point in my life right now.
One that has been long over due. One I only dreamt about in my depressive reflections on my life.

It is really happening and I have never been so ready and happy in my life.
My grams told me she is so proud of me. Gave me a huge hug and told me my gramps is watching me from above with the same pride she is feeling. He always wanted me to be a better person. he was huge on education and I only wish he was alive to see me now.

My little cousins even told me they are proud of me. Without them even kowing where I have come from in my life. And being so young. They are proud of me too.


It feels good to feel "normal" for once in my life. Like I have a purpose. Like I am going to make some kind of difference. Like it is finally going to be .....OK.

Its never too late to begin life. Like I told my adviusor today. This is the first day of my life today.

Surlyredhead

Congratulations!!

Astro

Oh man, I don't have the guts or the strength to even think about going back to school, way to go Chiy for taking those steps.

I'm so proud of you, and happy for the life you have ahead of you. Can't wait to hear all about it as the years roll on. You won't get all successful and forget about your SR family, right?

Anna

Very proud of you, Trish, very proud!

SomeCallMeTim

Still Waters

This is awesome!

KenL

A good step in the right direction. Don't lose momentum on your quest to be a better person. You have much to be proud of. You did this!

Wolfchild

It's often the simpliest actions that bring the greatest results!!
i am very honored & grateful to be considered a family member.
i hope and pray the absolute best for all your recovery efforts!

Aysha

I could never forget you guys. You are a big part of the reason why I am where I am today. I will never forget the first day I found this site.
I have had alot of bumps and bruises along the way. But since finding SR they havent scarred.
I have been on one hell of a journey the past 2 yrs. Finding myself. Learnign about my addiction. Learning how to live a btter life and how not to live that dead end path of active addiciton.
I am never saying I am in the clear from my addiction. I am only a couple weeks clean again.
But every one counts now. Its not just some endless vicious cycle anymore. I have taken those falls and made them into life long stepping stones.

I am accountable because I want to be. I need to be.

Without SR I wouldnt never have felt like that.
I would have just kept going as if thats how life was suppose to be.

I am very scare of what this is going to bring. I have fear of will I be able to keep up? Will I be good enough? Will I stay committed?
But as long as I always put 100% effort into anything. I dont think I can go wrong.
It all starts in trying.
I also get a new laptop too that is added into my financial aid.
Like I said. things happen for a reason.
It is just all coming together. Hopefully it remains that way. A big part will depend on me.
I know and accept life isnt rainbows and daisies all the time. And with my family and all of you. I will be able to make it through those not so good days.

I have really been changing as a person as well. My attitude and outlook. How I interact with people. I dont know what it is. What changed. It just happened. I am making new sober friends. Not necessarily recovering sober. But just ones out side my old element. I am reconnesting with old friends and old family members. Just alot has happened lately. And just too much positive stuff to call coincidence.
I do believe this is thee turning point. I just feel it deep down.

Mattcake

This is amazing, Chi Congratulations!

Astro

You said it all there Chiy, only you can answer those questions. Life is what we make it, the sky isn't really the limit, the possibilities are endless. Think of how many people in this world would love to have a laptop and financial aid. That's a gift of your recovery.

Keep sharing your successes, this is what the newcomers need to hear.

NewBeginning010

So happy for you chiynita :ghug2 I have seen huge changes in you since I came here this year. I know you will do well, don't waste energy worrying you are going to rock it.

My signature is dedicated to you today \/

Take Care,

NB

Astro

That's awesome NB! My sig doesn't say it quite as simply or eloquently

NewBeginning010

Thanks Astro, I remember reading yours the other day & it put a big smile on my face

chiynita - I cant wait to hear about your first day!

coffeenut

Yaaaaaaaay, Chi! A new beginning for you. I love this!

Aysha

Thx matty for encouraging me to seek out my creative side. You have been motivating me for quite some time now to continue on with my art.
Thx everyone for just being here and sharing everything with me. Not only my story but all of yours.

Mark75

That's so exciting Chi...

I was a total ef-up in High School... I was going down... Something clicked after I was out for a while and I threw myself into the local community college where I lived. It changed my life... You get tears? I almost get tears when I think about how I felt when I was where you are now, 30+ years ago... I know how you feel and it's AWESOME.... Savor it, never forget it.... you go!

Mark

otterbearcat

Thanks for sharing!

So good to hear about the positive things happening in your life.

Rowan

Trish, I am very, very happy for you. Happy and proud. I see a very bright future for you - and your present looks pretty awesome too! Well done!

suki44883

Oh trish! I am so very, very happy for you!!! You will never regret this decision. I have a feeling you are on your way to a new and exciting life.

YAY!!! for you!!!