MycoolFitz

For my friends who have been following my saga, and your all my friends, I'm nestled into my apartment and marking it mine. Got my tv, laptop,and printer all hooked up and operational. Walls decorated, books and CDs in their places, meditation center set up, its beginning to feel like me. Things have been not so good between my wife and I for some time but I was afraid to leave because I feared drinking myself to death, literally. Sober, things are different, I feel like an adult finally. I can be alone and not be lonely. I can go to sleep at night, not pass out. I can awaken in the morning and not come to. I can go to work and be productive. I can come home and be at peace. Sobriety is the greatest thing I've ever experienced, it seems to fit me like a glove. I started drinking when I was about 16, with my alcoholic father's blessing. I started doing drugs regularly when I was about 19. I've been clean 23 years but only sober short of 5 months. I say only but it is the longest period of sobriety for me in 46 years. I have no idea what the future holds and I'm not going to worry about it. I'm not going to regret the past and all the years buried in the bottle. I'm here,now. This is my life. I am blessed. I wish blessings on you all. May you find peace in who you really are. Namaste and thank you very much for "listening" to me.

SomeCallMeTim

Good for you man!! Enjoy your new digs.

Astro

Good example of fine recovery, thank you for sharing it.

You decorated? I carried around so much self-pity for so long I never even unpacked most of my boxes until I moved again.

Way to go!

suki44883

Way to go, Fitz! Sounds great! Make it your own special haven.

wanttolive

Good Job Cool! Sometimes the anticipation of a major change is scarier than the actual happening of the event. You're doing great!

NewBeginning010

So happy that you are feeling good & doing well. I have been cleaning up & working on making my place "nice" again. Its so easy to let it go when we stop caring about ourselves or are feeling bad.

Keep up the great work you are an inspiration

P.S. I am going through a lot of the same things as you are, my ex wife is coming by to pick up some things tomorrow & I am trying to think positive & not get stressed out.

Take Care,

NB

Dee74

good on you both MCF and NB!
(An Aussie blessing LOL)



D

tallcactus

"This is my life. I am blessed."
Yes U truely R. Thanks for sharing, U R doing great. Do not stress tomorrow, (yea, I know, LOL) everything will be A OK.

herennow

Hello
I have not followed your saga - but I can relate to some of your feelings. I too found it to be a wonderful feeling to be able to simply live and have that be enough. To decorate the walls or set up your home with your thoughts completely in tact and clear - it's amazing! ( I remember looking at my house after years of binging and using scripts and saying "what the hell was I thinking?!" The decorating (if you want to call it that) was completely offline with my tastes and likes). It is a profound feeling to be able to rise and shine or rest and REST without the fog following your every move. Work becomes doable and enjoyable and with God's will I am able to look at it as a priviledge. Being at home alone took some time to get used to for me. I was always trying to fill the silence. Now I look forward to hearing some answers in that silence and cherish the moments with myself - it's a form of meditation for me. It sounds as though you have found a very real sense of peace - I wish you many days of mindfulness and cherished moments. Good luck!