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Big fat loser

Old 08-06-2009, 06:25 PM
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Big fat loser

Well........here I am again.......down at the bottom of hell and trying to regroup my life. No occassional drinking for me.....I suck at it......it does not work and I am back where I was in January......I have lied at work and probably have threatened my job.....but I know what I need and that is the time.......the time to heal......to start over once again.......this was not a fun ride.....why do I think drinking is fun? It does nothing but ruin things....my mood, my life...everything........

Thanks for listening....:sorry
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Old 08-06-2009, 06:27 PM
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Sounds like you have a plan.
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Old 08-06-2009, 06:34 PM
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Yeah, addiction destroys us, in every way.

I am glad you're back!
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Old 08-06-2009, 06:34 PM
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Hi Vicious Cycle.

I'm sorry to hear you're back in the same place.
I was there many times too - in the end I had to act, and I had do things differently.

Have you thought of face to face support? There's a lot of programmes out there...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

D
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Old 08-06-2009, 06:55 PM
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Keep that head up, and join the rest of us in sobriety. I know I am VERY new, but my life has been so great in my 5 days sober. ( Longest in at least 4 years.) I hope you can share in our joy soon! We are here for you!
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Old 08-06-2009, 06:57 PM
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Jump back up on that wagon - you can do this!
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:02 PM
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It's a big step in the right direction when we admit to ourselves that drinking isn't doing us any favors, and it's time to get it out of our lives once & for all.
And remember, yesterday is gone.... if we don't drink today, tomorrow will take care of itself
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:42 PM
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Hi VC - glad you came here to tell about it. You don't have to go back there ever again. I wanted so badly to moderate and be able to have a few now and then. It never worked even once. It always led me back to hell. If there had been a way to control my drinking, I'd have found it. There isn't. You can do it - this time for sure!

P.S. Losers do not keep trying, they just cave in and give up. You are no loser.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:04 PM
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Hi VC
If it is no longer fun it is time to get back on the wagon.
I am pulling for you.
Good luck.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:38 PM
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VC,

I didn't post too much there but I started with you in the class of Jan. Made it until April and my alkie voice told me ( I know better) that I could moderate now since I had months under my belt. HA HA! So now I am in the class of July and feeling very determined not to go backward. I KNOW you can do this. You seemed so positive in Jan and can't wait to read your upbeat posts again. Keep on keepin on. That's all we can do. Just don't drink today and worry about tomorrow when it comes. I'm pulling for you!
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:48 PM
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Glad you made it back.
You're not a loser.
I have failed many times.
Keep on trying, find a program that works for you.
You can win over alcohol.
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Old 08-06-2009, 10:03 PM
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Red face

I as well as all alcoholic/addicts have a built in forgetter. It is part of our

problem, so I will be going to meetings for the duration of my heartbeat. It can

get worse.
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Old 08-07-2009, 06:33 AM
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Vicious,

Big fat loser is not the description I would use. That's our natural tendency, to think that we're losers because we fail at doing what most everybody else like us fails at doing. In a perverse way, it is still us feeling unique. We think we're weak, or have no will power, or aren't good enough.

Most alcoholics never stop drinking. Most folks that flirt with recovery find that it's not as easy as they thought. Just deciding to quit drinking is usually not sufficient.

You've learned a valuable lesson about yourself. This lesson doesn't require anyone else's opinion or interpretation. It's your own experience that moderation or controlled drinking doesn't work very well for you. Great. So abstinence is probably your only shot. Deciding to not drink at all is another one of those decisions. Unless followed up by some action, it may fall short for you.

Make a decision to take the action required to stay sober.
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:59 PM
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If you want to get out of that hole VC you have to stop digging in it.

I'm cheering you on girl I know you can do it.
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Old 08-07-2009, 04:18 PM
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Don't be sorry. We're glad you're here.
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Old 08-07-2009, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by ViciousCycle View Post
Well........here I am again.......down at the bottom of hell and trying to regroup my life. No occassional drinking for me.....I suck at it......it does not work and I am back where I was in January......I have lied at work and probably have threatened my job.....but I know what I need and that is the time.......the time to heal......to start over once again.......this was not a fun ride.....why do I think drinking is fun? It does nothing but ruin things....my mood, my life...everything........

Thanks for listening....:sorry
The obsession of this disease will kill us if we listen to it. The addict in us is a very cunning foe. I'm not telling you what to do. I am gonna tell you what worked for me after years of letting that voice in my head try to kill me. I accepted the idea of a power greater than I. I became willing to accept the idea that i was powerless over drugs/booze and pretty much everything else. I became willing to accept help from others. I became willing to accept the fact that i didn't have all the answers, and to be honest, i didn't have ANY of them. My best thinking got me to my bottom, convinced me that i wanted to die, ruined a business, pushed away everyone i cared about and all those who cared about me. My best thinking destroyed my life. I no longer rely on MY thinking, i rely on my higher power for results. I just do the footwork, what happens is up to him. I wish you the best in your recovery. :praying
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Old 08-07-2009, 09:29 PM
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vc........nice to hear from you.

for me.........any notion that i could control my drinking had to be smashed.

i did have several of those notions.............and yes.....they were smashed.

glad you survived........some friends over the years didnt....

whats the plan to stay sober?
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