Sober from the neck down..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
Posts: 2
Sober from the neck down..
Hello all. I am new to this forum so please bare with me. A little about my recovery, I have been sober a little over 6 months now. All is great thus far with one exception. When I quit drinking I went to AA meeting everyday and did so for the first 90 days. Since then I have only been 1 or 2 times because I am not having any issues and know the meeting is there as insurance if needed. My problem is here recently I have been having intense thoughts of drinking again. I tend to think about it all the time, and even find myself searching things like "how to hide drinking" on the internet. Weird thing is I know in my heart of hearts I will not drink again. 1st I made a promise to God and second I made the same promise to my family. I guess my question is this....will this ever go away?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
welcome to SR 
I found I had to do a lot more than just not drink, SoberNTexas - taking booze away doesn't stop me from being an alcoholic, and it didn't do anything about the underlying causes that got me drinking in the first place.
Stopping drink was the easier bit - for me, staying stopped takes constant work.
I'm not an AAer but why not use a little more of that 'insurance'? Seems to me you could use some face to face support as well as posting here
D
I found I had to do a lot more than just not drink, SoberNTexas - taking booze away doesn't stop me from being an alcoholic, and it didn't do anything about the underlying causes that got me drinking in the first place.
Stopping drink was the easier bit - for me, staying stopped takes constant work.
I'm not an AAer but why not use a little more of that 'insurance'? Seems to me you could use some face to face support as well as posting here
D
Living in sobriety
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,870
When I quit drinking I went to AA meeting everyday and did so for the first 90 days. Since then I have only been 1 or 2 times because I am not having any issues and know the meeting is there as insurance if needed. My problem is here recently I have been having intense thoughts of drinking again.
I hope I dont sound preachy......just my own experience. alcoholism is very cunning!!
I go to AA, it works for me. I like to stay focused and I have made some great friends as well as learn a whole new way of living.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
You know.. when I was actively drinking and really drinking a ton.. I would search for things like "liver disease symptoms", even while drunk. Crazy.
I'm not an AAer, but from what I'm reading, it might be time to have a chit chat with your sponser and get your butt back to a meeting and SHARE what you've been struggling with!
And thank you Tommy..lol.. no issues? Hardly!
I'm not an AAer, but from what I'm reading, it might be time to have a chit chat with your sponser and get your butt back to a meeting and SHARE what you've been struggling with!
And thank you Tommy..lol.. no issues? Hardly!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
Originally Posted by SoberNTexas 
Weird thing is I know in my heart of hearts I will not drink again. 1st I made a promise to God and second I made the same promise to my family. I guess my question is this....will this ever go away?
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Originally Posted by SoberNTexas
Hello all. I am new to this forum so please bare with me. A little about my recovery, I have been sober a little over 6 months now. All is great thus far with one exception. When I quit drinking I went to AA meeting everyday and did so for the first 90 days. Since then I have only been 1 or 2 times because I am not having any issues and know the meeting is there as insurance if needed. My problem is here recently I have been having intense thoughts of drinking again. I tend to think about it all the time, and even find myself searching things like "how to hide drinking" on the internet. Weird thing is I know in my heart of hearts I will not drink again. 1st I made a promise to God and second I made the same promise to my family. I guess my question is this....will this ever go away?
I'm intrigued by this, where did you find this information?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 285
Alarm bells ringing off. You "know" you will not drink ever again you say but the obsession is there? I don't know how you would know this for a fact, and it seems like a little bit of waivering on the question of if you are an alcoholic or not. Also, I don't like "promises" of sobriety--there is no way to know if you can keep the promise and you shouldn't be disingenous about that--I prefer to promise I will do everything I can in order to maintain my sobriety. Time to go to some more meetings, if you view AA as a life-raft for you to cling to when you get in trouble, this is trouble.
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Steps one through three can keep one sober for a long time. There is more
work to be done though. Find a home group to commit and things will take
shape I promise you. They would most likely be glad to hear from you.
work to be done though. Find a home group to commit and things will take
shape I promise you. They would most likely be glad to hear from you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Congrats on your sobriety. It's hard work doing it how you've described.
I don't know about you, but my most sincere promises crumbled under the weight of my alcoholism.
Those intense thoughts of drinking may or may not fade over time. My own experience is that although they may fade for a while, they are always there. I didn't experience freedom from that bondage until I took the 12 steps and had a spiritual awakening.
You're an example of the good and bad in AA. Going to meetings, but not experiencing the solution, has given you relief. Time will tell if relief is good enough to keep you sober. For many, it is not. I've seen hundreds of people that got relief for a few months, and ended up drunk by year' end. That's the norm. If you want freedom, the steps may be the answer.
Originally Posted by SoberNTexas
1st I made a promise to God and second I made the same promise to my family.
Those intense thoughts of drinking may or may not fade over time. My own experience is that although they may fade for a while, they are always there. I didn't experience freedom from that bondage until I took the 12 steps and had a spiritual awakening.
You're an example of the good and bad in AA. Going to meetings, but not experiencing the solution, has given you relief. Time will tell if relief is good enough to keep you sober. For many, it is not. I've seen hundreds of people that got relief for a few months, and ended up drunk by year' end. That's the norm. If you want freedom, the steps may be the answer.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Sober, welcome to SR. I also only went to AA in the first couple of months of my sobriety but I continued to practice the steps (in my way) and will continue for the rest of my life. I had to change not just my drinking habit but ME and it took over a year until I was really comfortable with who I am. My drinking escalated over a 35 yr period I couldn't expect to be the new me overnight.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
6 months of many one days at
a time collected together to get
you where u r today sober is
nothing to sneeze at.
Reach around with both hands
and give urself a hug.
Family intervention sent me
to rehab for 28 days where
I picked up the tools and
knowledge of my disease
of alcoholism.
Just not drinking wasnt enough
for me because i tried countless
times on my own to stop for
what ever reasons to only fail.
I had to want the desire to not
drink more so than I wanted to
drink.
I had to look at the many times
i went to any lengths to drink
to go to any lenghts to not drink.
Sure i went to many meetings at
the beginning taking stock so to
spoke and putting them in the bank
for a rainy day. Meaning I listened
and absorbed of what recovery
was all about each day to rely
on if i became weak.
They talk about service work often.
To get involved u can be a part
of an awesome program and fellowship.
There r all sorts of things u can do
for service work....and mine was
suiting up and showing up even
when i didnt want to just so others
would see me. Not necessarily
hear me.
Why is that important? Well....
how many familiar faces have
u seen each time uve gone to
meetings? Every time u go there
there they are. It's a comforting
feeling isnt it?
Just think of the newcomers
coming in after you. They see
u there and how comforting it
is for them to see ur familiar
face. Wondering how u r staying
sober for as long as u have.
Just as curious as u are of the
many before u, then how curious
are the newcomer are of u. Right?
Tell them or share with them
ur experience strenghts and hopes
of what it was like before during
and after ur drinking.
As the many before u did that for
u to give u hope then u also give
hope to the many that follow u.
In doing so..... u also stay sober.
That's how ive stayed sober the many
one days at a time collected to-
gether to get me where I am today.
Hi Im Sharon and im an alcoholic.
By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely grateful.
And that's how it's worked for me.
a time collected together to get
you where u r today sober is
nothing to sneeze at.
Reach around with both hands
and give urself a hug.
Family intervention sent me
to rehab for 28 days where
I picked up the tools and
knowledge of my disease
of alcoholism.
Just not drinking wasnt enough
for me because i tried countless
times on my own to stop for
what ever reasons to only fail.
I had to want the desire to not
drink more so than I wanted to
drink.
I had to look at the many times
i went to any lengths to drink
to go to any lenghts to not drink.
Sure i went to many meetings at
the beginning taking stock so to
spoke and putting them in the bank
for a rainy day. Meaning I listened
and absorbed of what recovery
was all about each day to rely
on if i became weak.
They talk about service work often.
To get involved u can be a part
of an awesome program and fellowship.
There r all sorts of things u can do
for service work....and mine was
suiting up and showing up even
when i didnt want to just so others
would see me. Not necessarily
hear me.
Why is that important? Well....
how many familiar faces have
u seen each time uve gone to
meetings? Every time u go there
there they are. It's a comforting
feeling isnt it?
Just think of the newcomers
coming in after you. They see
u there and how comforting it
is for them to see ur familiar
face. Wondering how u r staying
sober for as long as u have.
Just as curious as u are of the
many before u, then how curious
are the newcomer are of u. Right?
Tell them or share with them
ur experience strenghts and hopes
of what it was like before during
and after ur drinking.
As the many before u did that for
u to give u hope then u also give
hope to the many that follow u.
In doing so..... u also stay sober.
That's how ive stayed sober the many
one days at a time collected to-
gether to get me where I am today.
Hi Im Sharon and im an alcoholic.
By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely grateful.
And that's how it's worked for me.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
SobernTexas welcome to SR and congrats on 6 months sober.
So you went to AA for 90 days and did well, then you quit going for 90 days and are seriously thinking about drinking, what does that tell you? I know what it tells me even if I was not in AA I would tell you to go back if it worked for you.
Did you have a sponsor? If you did, did you take the steps with him? Did you have a spiritual experience? If you did have you been applying the steps to all areas of your life on a daily basis to maintain your spiritual fitness?
There is the AA fellowship, which for some is all that is needed, then there is the actual program of AA which is where I and many others have found a solution for our alcoholism. The solution lies within the first 164 pages of the Big Book and having a fellow alcoholic who had gone through these 12 steps with another fellow alcoholic take me through them sharing his experience, strength and hope he found in these very steps, I too had a spiritual experience that has provided me with a solution for life other then drinking.
For now I think you have answered your own question, get back to those meetings and for the long term solution I would suggest to get a sponsor and take the steps with him and find the FULL solution.
So you went to AA for 90 days and did well, then you quit going for 90 days and are seriously thinking about drinking, what does that tell you? I know what it tells me even if I was not in AA I would tell you to go back if it worked for you.
Did you have a sponsor? If you did, did you take the steps with him? Did you have a spiritual experience? If you did have you been applying the steps to all areas of your life on a daily basis to maintain your spiritual fitness?
There is the AA fellowship, which for some is all that is needed, then there is the actual program of AA which is where I and many others have found a solution for our alcoholism. The solution lies within the first 164 pages of the Big Book and having a fellow alcoholic who had gone through these 12 steps with another fellow alcoholic take me through them sharing his experience, strength and hope he found in these very steps, I too had a spiritual experience that has provided me with a solution for life other then drinking.
For now I think you have answered your own question, get back to those meetings and for the long term solution I would suggest to get a sponsor and take the steps with him and find the FULL solution.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
here my experience..
so i finally get sober with some medical help..
good......i no longer have a physical allergy to booze because im not drinking it......ill do sh@t loads of meetings......job done?
nope..only just begining......that old mental obssession..the mental twist.
god it was hard work staying sober......that discontentment knawing away at me...jeez the wife looks happier...... problem is i wanna blow my head off.
i must be insane.....i aint like thoses other drunks...they get there lives back.
me...im just tortured mentally.
And the "f@ck it" day came.....once again attempting to drink to relieve my head games and give me peace....but ive triggered the allergy so im gonna be out for a while......
have you ever read the doctors opinion?........take a look.
he describes your situation perfect....and mine.
so heres the deal.......i no longer suffer from the mental obsession to drink.
why?......because i read the big book......and completed the 12 steps.
and had a complete re newing of my mind.....i was relieved...at last.
i feel born again......not in the christian sense....although there may be some truth in that.
but........
in the mental sense..........i truly know freedom unlike ive ever felt...
dont suffer like i did........read the doctors opinion.....and the big book of alcoholics anonymous......a dictionary helped me as well.
and there you will see yourself........and it will tell you precisely what to do about it...
god go with you on your journey to a new freedom......shaun
so i finally get sober with some medical help..
good......i no longer have a physical allergy to booze because im not drinking it......ill do sh@t loads of meetings......job done?
nope..only just begining......that old mental obssession..the mental twist.
god it was hard work staying sober......that discontentment knawing away at me...jeez the wife looks happier...... problem is i wanna blow my head off.
i must be insane.....i aint like thoses other drunks...they get there lives back.
me...im just tortured mentally.
And the "f@ck it" day came.....once again attempting to drink to relieve my head games and give me peace....but ive triggered the allergy so im gonna be out for a while......
have you ever read the doctors opinion?........take a look.
he describes your situation perfect....and mine.
so heres the deal.......i no longer suffer from the mental obsession to drink.
why?......because i read the big book......and completed the 12 steps.
and had a complete re newing of my mind.....i was relieved...at last.
i feel born again......not in the christian sense....although there may be some truth in that.
but........
in the mental sense..........i truly know freedom unlike ive ever felt...
dont suffer like i did........read the doctors opinion.....and the big book of alcoholics anonymous......a dictionary helped me as well.
and there you will see yourself........and it will tell you precisely what to do about it...
god go with you on your journey to a new freedom......shaun
Resident grateful guy!
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Bloomington, Mn.
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by SoberNTexas
Hello all. I am new to this forum so please bare with me. A little about my recovery, I have been sober a little over 6 months now. All is great thus far with one exception. When I quit drinking I went to AA meeting everyday and did so for the first 90 days. Since then I have only been 1 or 2 times because I am not having any issues and know the meeting is there as insurance if needed. My problem is here recently I have been having intense thoughts of drinking again. I tend to think about it all the time, and even find myself searching things like "how to hide drinking" on the internet. Weird thing is I know in my heart of hearts I will not drink again. 1st I made a promise to God and second I made the same promise to my family. I guess my question is this....will this ever go away?
:praying
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