MycoolFitz

I was just thinking about some newcomers who posted here, sometimes in a flurry of hope or desperation and then just quietly disappeared. It happens in the rooms too. It makes me worry and wonder though I have no idea really what happened and I'm helpless to do anything about it. It’s hard to get into someone's life through their stories and the shared bond of addiction and have them just vanish. It's sometimes like a war zone when you don't know what happened to your buddy, or like the tomb of the unknown sober. Maybe a wall should be erected for those who didn't make it. It would probably be too big and to sad. I'm glad there are always and will always be the survivors to share their courage and their stories of hope in the midst of despair. And I'm thankful that for many of the missing they will again turn up,only temporarily POWs Peace

KenL

I understand your sentiment My... But look at it this way. Maybe those folks who abruptly visited SR are finding the help they need through "real life" interactions and that those interactions are more beneficial to them than the interactions over the "non-real life" internet. As far as the ones in the rooms, well, we can only speculate as to what happened. We have to think positively about his stuff though. There's only so much you can do, ya know?

Pancake

Very nice sentiments Fitz and you as well Ken...I miss folks when they leave too. Just the same in the Rooms as online. Guess God had other plans for them though....

Love Pancake xo (((Hugs)))

Firehazard

Yep me too. That feeling of kinship. Praying for the newcomer. Being extra nice to them. Sometimes I wonder if those old timers that spit out fire and brimstone about the dangers of drinking aren't doing them the better service.

vegibean

I like to think they're out doing more research. I definitely was working on mine.

The brief moments I did spend in the rooms and with my friends in AA, everything they said, everything I heard meant something. So whether I got sober the first time, went back out, yadda, yadda, yadda....... I made it back and if it weren't for all the short time I had spent doing research, I would have been more lost.

I AM SOBER TODAY!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!

Just hope everything works out for them.

Hope you're well Cool!!

Tazman53

I miss and pray for those who do not come back, I pray that those who come here and dissappear that they have found a path to sobriety that works for them.

In the rooms when folks go MIA we pray as well, odd thing, but those folks who show and go along with the retreads and the the occasional old timer who relapses I gain from, they keep fresh in my head and heart just how truly cunning, baffling, and powerful this disease is.

I was among the MIAs, I showed up for my first meeting drunk as a skunk, I simply was not ready to stop yet then, 5 years later I was more then ready!

determined1

I was only here for a short while, posted a few times, but I still read every day (probably 2-3 times a day). I am thankful for this site and how welcome everyone was. I am happier today than I have been in years. I wake up refreshed, I spend more time with my kids, I am even going to the Community College tonight to sign up for some night and weekend classes. I take long walks with my dog, I go to the gym, I read books, I eat healthy, I make lists of what I am thankful for, I got my closets organized...and I smile all the time!
I did make the decision my first week that I would limit myself to a few glasses of wine on Sat. nights. I know that most on this site do not agree with moderation and that is why I have not posted my progress. I have been very successful and dont even want a drink during the week. I have gone to dinner with a friend the last 3 Saturday nights and had a few drinks, 3 drinks one night and 2 on the last 2. I didnt get drunk, and I didnt feel like crap the next day. I promised myself that if I went back to drinking during the week, that I would quit completely. I cant tell you if this will work forever, but what I know is that I feel wonderful, I have energy, I am not so anxious about my drinking, wondering if I had a problem, and then opening a bottle of wine to dull those worries. I am happy, so happy....
I have to say, that I have not researched alcohol and its effects much, and what I read on this site enlightened me so much, opened my eyes to what it was doing to me. I had no idea that the anxiety I was feeling was due to alcohol! I thought I was feeling anxiety because of my life, but now the anxiety is pretty much gone, and I thank this site for that...
SO...I was a newcomer, thank you for all your welcomes, and I am still reading!

KenL

Good to hear from you determined1. It sounds like you are happy with how things are going and that you have your "booze alarm" on extra loud. Just keep checking the wires to make sure it doesn't short out. LOL

Dee74

I'm glad things are working out for you too determined1

I spend a good deal of time here - I see the love and support that goes on.

It's good to know you've done all you could to help, and it's good to be satisfied with that, I think.

SR touches so many people no matter what happens - some it leads to new lives...for others, what we say now might lead someone back here one day.

We do good, guys.
D

determined1

one more thing, I just counted, and in the last 22 days I have had 7 glasses of wine instead of 22 bottles, that is awesome for me, (as I pat myself on the back)

keithj

Sometimes it's good for me to be reminded of this. I can get myopic, surrounded by people involved with recovery.

The truth is, most alcoholics will die as active alcoholics. They will never have the opportunity that I have been given. For every person that posts a few times on this site and then disappears, how many are reading without posting? How many never even think to wonder about recovery?

And the same is true in the rooms of AA. People wander in and stay for a few months, then disappear. Maybe most are doing fine on their own, but enough of them turn up again a couple years later to make me doubt that.

It makes me an observer, both in the rooms and on this site. I watch those who come and go and those who stay around and recover. I look at what they do and what they don't do. I advise others to do the same.

MycoolFitz

Thanks for all the great responses. It's true we can't know or predict the path or future or outcomes of other alcoholics, it sometimes feels a little shakey that we can't even do this for ourselves. Tomorrow I could be among the missing, who really knows, it has happened before. I great and heartfelt intent is that it won't, my resolve feels insoluble, but again, who can predict a future that doesn't even exist, only a string of endless nows. This moment I am sober which means I am awake to life. 12-steps say one day at a time because that's all there really is. To judge ourselves on the past or jump into our future with expectations,aspirations or trepadations is a set-up. We never know. Some schools of Buddhism say we're already awake we just need to realize this or that we can struggle for years for awakening and at the sound of a bird singing in a tree or a child's cry we awaken instantly. Maybe recovery is like that? We just need toawaken to it and be it. We may have failed a hundred times but this may be the moment we awaken toour inate sobriety, who know? Why not? For every alcoholic/addict still alive there is always hope, sobriety and recovery's potential within us. May we all find this birthright. Namaste