Hello, noob here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 25
Hello, noob here
Hiya,
I am a week sober, going to AA and am doing great really. Been through the mill physically, thought I was dying last week tbh, but now feel ok.
My sponsor has asked me to write a list of things I am powerless over, and this confuses me tbh and in a way scares me. I came out of a very abusive relationship and the thought of admitting I am powerless makes me feel like I am in that place again.
Anyone got any advice on how to write that list?
I am a week sober, going to AA and am doing great really. Been through the mill physically, thought I was dying last week tbh, but now feel ok.
My sponsor has asked me to write a list of things I am powerless over, and this confuses me tbh and in a way scares me. I came out of a very abusive relationship and the thought of admitting I am powerless makes me feel like I am in that place again.
Anyone got any advice on how to write that list?
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Congratulations on your week sober!! And welcome to SR.
First and foremost, are you powerless over alcohol? Can you just have one drink and put it down? I can't, so that is the first thing I am powerless over.
Being powerless does not mean I am not strong, it means I don't have any control over people or situations as they pertain to my life. It does not scare me, it only gives me more strength because I know these situations are left to a Power greater than myself.
I too go to AA and I think its great you are working with a sponsor. Please share with your sponsor what you said here, I'm sure your sponsor will help define these things to you.
First and foremost, are you powerless over alcohol? Can you just have one drink and put it down? I can't, so that is the first thing I am powerless over.
Being powerless does not mean I am not strong, it means I don't have any control over people or situations as they pertain to my life. It does not scare me, it only gives me more strength because I know these situations are left to a Power greater than myself.
I too go to AA and I think its great you are working with a sponsor. Please share with your sponsor what you said here, I'm sure your sponsor will help define these things to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Greetings, glad you're doing great, when I first said that an oldtimer accused me of being on a "pink cloud" maybe so but its day 120 today and I'm still feeling great. As far as powerless goes I'm not too concerned about it. I know I can't change yesterday or control tomorrow, I can just be in this moment and what doI need tobe powerful over? I don't have power over others in terms of what they think feel and do. I have power over not picking up but I am powerless over where I might go after that first drink. Instead of thinking I'm powerless I prefer to think I've surrended to the delusion of power and contriol and I gain the freedom to just be. My true powerlessness or slavery was tothe bottle when active. All my best, may you taste the sweet freedom and peace.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Ble... welcome to SR. 
I like the way you are analyzing the question... I believe you will succeed in finding answers.
Were you powerless in your attempts to change another person while in an abusive relationship?
I desperately wanted someone to be who I WANTED them to be, but I could not succeed in that endeavor, I could not change them, no matter how many times I tried... it appeared I was powerless.
Keep coming back.
I like the way you are analyzing the question... I believe you will succeed in finding answers.
Were you powerless in your attempts to change another person while in an abusive relationship?
I desperately wanted someone to be who I WANTED them to be, but I could not succeed in that endeavor, I could not change them, no matter how many times I tried... it appeared I was powerless.
Keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 123
blefuscu,
Congrats on a week sober. Great Job. My thinking does not run with the mainstream. I personally do not think that you are powerless over alcohol. I know, I know, read on and let me explain. I do not want to pretend to know you but the fact that you have gone a week shows that you do have strength over alcohol. I do not want to speak for anyone else but my powerlessness comes from the first drink. Once I decide to pour booze into my body (To quote Metallica) alcohol becomes the Master of this Puppet.
My line of thinking is that as long as I wake up sober and as long as I reject the urge to drink, I am in control. The minute i take alcohol is like letting my enemy who is well armed and stronger than I am into my house, I am at their mercy.
My point is, if admitting you are powerless brings up raw feelings, attack it from another perspective. There is no right or wrong on this path, just please find a way to stay sober.
Congrats on a week sober. Great Job. My thinking does not run with the mainstream. I personally do not think that you are powerless over alcohol. I know, I know, read on and let me explain. I do not want to pretend to know you but the fact that you have gone a week shows that you do have strength over alcohol. I do not want to speak for anyone else but my powerlessness comes from the first drink. Once I decide to pour booze into my body (To quote Metallica) alcohol becomes the Master of this Puppet.
My line of thinking is that as long as I wake up sober and as long as I reject the urge to drink, I am in control. The minute i take alcohol is like letting my enemy who is well armed and stronger than I am into my house, I am at their mercy.
My point is, if admitting you are powerless brings up raw feelings, attack it from another perspective. There is no right or wrong on this path, just please find a way to stay sober.
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
When I think of powerlessness over people, its not so much powerless as its I have no control over what they do or say. I am not powerless to walk away if it is a situation I am not comfortable in or around.
Please discuss this with your sponsor, they will be only to willing to help you with any questions you might have.
Please discuss this with your sponsor, they will be only to willing to help you with any questions you might have.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR blefuscu, this is a great suppliment for AA I have found.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lifes had become unmanageable.
Please note the bolded words, they are past tense words.
We maintain our power over alcohol and our lifes stay manageable as long as we do not put alcohol into our bodies! Once we put alcohol into our bodies we once again become powerless over alcohol and our lifes become unmanageable.
We gain power by admitting we are powerless once alcohol is in our body!
Now there are a ton of things that if I think I have power over them I need to take a good hard look at reality.
My life is far more peaceful and serene accepting the fact that I can not control:
1. Other people.
2. Places like bars & liquor stores.
3. The weather.
4. Taxes.
5. Etc.
The Serenity prayer is such a valuable tool when we are humble enough to be totally honest with our selfs.
When I come across something in life no matter what it is, I have to be able to look at it and honestly determine if it is totally out of my hands or if there is something I can do about it.
Let us say my boss is a complete jerk, I can not change him, I have to accept him for who he is. I have no power in this case at all.
Now let us say my boss being a complete jerk is driving me crazy, I can do something about that, I have several choices, I can either quit or ask for a transfer or simply learn to accept that he is a jerk and learn how to deal with him. Here I do have Power, I have the power of choice and as a result I can take action.
The main idea is to learn that when we have no control over something or someone to not worry about it, not fight it, nor resent it, simply to accept that we can not change it and move on.
I have no power over alcohol once it is in my body, but today my sanity has been restored thanks to the steps and my HP granting me the power to not pick up that first drink, that is what I am granted, a daily reprieve from my alcoholism contingent upon my spiritual fitness.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lifes had become unmanageable.
Please note the bolded words, they are past tense words.
We maintain our power over alcohol and our lifes stay manageable as long as we do not put alcohol into our bodies! Once we put alcohol into our bodies we once again become powerless over alcohol and our lifes become unmanageable.
We gain power by admitting we are powerless once alcohol is in our body!
Now there are a ton of things that if I think I have power over them I need to take a good hard look at reality.
My life is far more peaceful and serene accepting the fact that I can not control:
1. Other people.
2. Places like bars & liquor stores.
3. The weather.
4. Taxes.
5. Etc.
The Serenity prayer is such a valuable tool when we are humble enough to be totally honest with our selfs.
When I come across something in life no matter what it is, I have to be able to look at it and honestly determine if it is totally out of my hands or if there is something I can do about it.
Let us say my boss is a complete jerk, I can not change him, I have to accept him for who he is. I have no power in this case at all.
Now let us say my boss being a complete jerk is driving me crazy, I can do something about that, I have several choices, I can either quit or ask for a transfer or simply learn to accept that he is a jerk and learn how to deal with him. Here I do have Power, I have the power of choice and as a result I can take action.
The main idea is to learn that when we have no control over something or someone to not worry about it, not fight it, nor resent it, simply to accept that we can not change it and move on.
I have no power over alcohol once it is in my body, but today my sanity has been restored thanks to the steps and my HP granting me the power to not pick up that first drink, that is what I am granted, a daily reprieve from my alcoholism contingent upon my spiritual fitness.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 25
Thank you guys for all your answers. I am going to sit down properly later (its tea-time or dinner time as some of you call it, in England and I have three hungry children to feed) and read these posts again.
FightOn, love the Metallica quote!
Tazman53, some good advice.
Thanks to you all for welcoming me.
FightOn, love the Metallica quote!
Tazman53, some good advice.
Thanks to you all for welcoming me.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome to the family! Knowing I was no longer alone when I found this place has given me the courage & strength to get well. I remember so well that first awful week, but just think - we never, ever have to go back there again. Congratulations on making it through hell and forging ahead to your new life.
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