Need Help... Recently took up "Moody Drinking"
 

So... I'm a social drinker who in the last 6 months or so only drinks on the weekends for the most part (the year prior to that, I was out often during the week and drank app. 5 nights a week).

Since about May, I have began experiencing terrible mood swings and abusiveness (in words, not physically) to my boyfriend and roommate when drinking. I've never been this way before. I just tend to get very sassy and if something happens to hurt my feelings or I'm not all that pleased with I snap and say nasty things that if I were sober I would usually not say anything at all or try and approach them in a more appropriate manner. Last night, this blew up in my face and I had to deal with it and realize that without the alcohol I'm a wonderful friend and according to my boyfriend, an amazing partner.

Is this just what my drinking has escalated to or is there some other issues that I need to deal with, so that I won't act irrational while drinking?

A little back story... My roommate has bouts of depression and sadness at times and can be very crude to me and hard to be around at times. Other times, she's like my sister, my best friend, my everything. Normally, when she acts ugly to me, I blow it off and chalk it up to her being upset with herself, not me. Sometimes I think that when I drink is the only time I am truly comfortable with confronting the issues at hand, but in the total wrong way. And my boyfriend, well we have the most perfect relationship with each other and never ever argue or have disagreements, but he is gone on the rode a lot and I miss him terribly and feel I resent him sometimes for not being with me although I'm so proud of what he's doing while he's gone and want him to live his dreams.... Just feelings I have that I don't deal with on a regular basis.

So, the whole point of this really is, am I handling my sober life wrong which is forcing me to act out while drinking OR has this just become who I am when I drink?

Thank you all for taking time to read this and I hope it makes sense.

Maybe both.. likely both, in my opinion..

Why don't you try not drinking for a month or two and see if things settle out for you a bit? You might find some answers during that period of time.

I personally have always found that drinking tends to make me extremely honest. Not in a nasty way but, I tend to say the stuff that has been rolling around in my head and I haven't had the courage to say before.

Maybe you are having the same problem. Too many issues rolling around in your head and you need to vent

:ghug3 to you hope you sort it

First... the person takes a drink.

Then, all too often... over time... the drink takes the person.

Kimmy, the human body becomes 'accustomed' to the effects of alcohol, the body builds toleraces, the body discovers 'likes'... the body wants more, and so does the mind. Both change.

I like the suggestion from Smacked... "Why don't you try not drinking for a month or two and see if things settle out for you a bit? You might find some answers during that period of time."

It could be a very learning experience. ;)

Keep coming back.

Why do you examine your sober life for things you do while drinking?

Seems to me if drinking is not important and troubles come when your drinking it may be a good idea to quit drinking as smacked suggested for at least a month and see if you start doing those things when not drinking.

It just could be that your drinking is what the root cause of the probelm is.

Why not take this little quiz answering honestly and see if you find an answer there Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You?

I appreciate all of your inputs.... I think that is definitely a start for me. I'm not going to say this will be easy by any means for me. As I may not be a true alcoholic, many of the activities that I and my friends participate in involve drinking. I have a gazillion friends that I'm with every weekend, all of which drink. Taking myself out of the "scene" is going to be hard, but I can't go out and not drink at this point, as sad as that seems. Also, there is no escape for me... I have 2 roommates both of which drink as well and people are often at our home on the weekends, swimming at our pool.

I believe one of my roommates (the one of which I spoke about) would support me, but I don't believe she would cut back on her own drinking as she'll see it as my problem and her not having one.

Where to go to get away? My parents drink, so that's a no-go... I'm clueless on how to even stop drinking for a month as pathetic as that sounds. But I am fully ready to take the plunge to sobriety for at least a month... it can't be THAT hard right? Or can it?

That is not pathetic at all, I was at the point in the end where I could not stay sober a single day and had no clue how to stay sober!

After I got out of detox it was suggested that I go see people who KNEW how to stay sober long term, the people in AA! I thought these folks were a bunch of losers, until I started to go to meetings, these people were laughing, smiling, had a twinkle in thier eyes, were sober and most important of all THEY WERE LIVING LIFE SOBER!!!!!!

Go to AA meetings for a month, what do you have to lose? A few drunks and embarassing mopments leading to a lot of mental anguish?

What do you have to gain?

Life itself, friends not drinking buddies, people who would love nothing more then for you to join them in real activities that do not require drinking at all!

Hi and Welcome,

I think that living a sober life, even for a month, involves a lot of big changes. Many of us, me included, had to change people, places and things in our lives, in order to stay sober. It takes a lot of motivation, but it is so worth it.

I am in the same boat as you are. My husband drinks a lot. I am not about to cut him out of my life, but I am going to have to figure out a way to both tolerate his drinking and stop my own. It's my single biggest fear about this whole thing.

"it can't be THAT hard right? Or can it?"

All too often it becomes a matter of life & death.

Please find out if you can do it sooner rather than later, okay?

Hopefully BEFORE it affects your health.

Keep coming back... and don't ever underestimate the danger of the sleeping dragon potentially within each person who consumes alcohol... the next drink could awaken it.

Hi Kimmy and welcome,

Yes it can be very hard. But a month should be doable if you don't have a problem. After I started my drinking career in my 40's the thought never entered my mind to try to give it up for a month. I wish it had because I might have gotten some early answers. Instead it progressed to where I had to give it up forever. This happened in about 5 years, the past 2 or 3 years prior to stopping I don't think I had a whole weekend where I didn't drink alot. You will probably find more people who don't drink that you are just not aware of. Some nurse one or two drinks for a whole evening. You probably just didn't notice. Good luck and keep reading and posting.

Hi Kimmy

If you want rule out booze as the underlying cause for your mood swings, you need to take that time off, right?....and if they are the cause? you'll need to look at a more permanent solution anyway.

As others have said this involves a lot of changes and shifts in priorities - it's not easy, but it's absolutely doable if you want to.

We're here for support :)

Welcome!
D

Welcome to the Sober Recovery community.

It may seem hard to try new things, you may feel some type of way,
but you won't know if you can do something different until you try.
i have faith that the strength you need to make wise decisions is
already available for you to begin making progress to improve your life.

Welcome!

Of course you can go out and not drink, but if you are surrounded by drinkers, especially the type of drinkers that we used to surround ourselves with, it's difficult and uncomfortable.


How to stop? If you're drinking hasn't progressed to the point where you may suffer serious withdrawal symptoms-dt's-then you simply stop. Avoiding your drinking buddies will make that easier.

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.