Ashamed :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Lake City, Fl
Posts: 2
Ashamed :(
Ok so here the deal, I'm a 28 male, and have been drinking for about 15 years. Over this period I have numerous alcohol related charges including 2 dui's and a few position under 21's. Have tried to quit a few times in the past but usually give in after about 2 months.
I've always been shy in certain situation, especially large groups and around girls. When I first started drinking it was amazing it was like I was super man, I was funny, social life of the party etc....Now when I drink and I usually cannot stop till I blackout or pass out. I don't like to just have a few and call it a night. I want to keep the party going through the night and into the morning.
When ever I try and quit I get really bored and lonely. I feel like I'm this really boring guy and I can't find ways to have fun with out drinking. I love to go out and dance and drinking usually goes with that. Usually I get lots of girls on the dance floor because I'm not great at walking up at conversating so I express my emotions through dance and girls flock to me. However I usually get so hammered at the end of the night I ruin my chances with them.
My last bender ended up with me getting really destructive and thrashing my house, bruising myself, and acting like a maniac. I know the people I'm with are probllay like wow this guy is so calm when he not drinking but once he starts drinking he is wild man. Sometimes I have good nights when I go out and drink but usually I feel guilty and ashamed of my behaviour. I have a career that I'm not happy with and thinking of going back to school to take on a new career. I will be 30 in a few years and would like to be happy with my career and find a woman, be married and start a family. I think the main reasons for my drinking is it takes away my shyness and lets me persue woman. Allthough I've been doing this for many years and it's not really getting me anywhere except meaningless one night stands etc...
So I'm going to give sobriey another try, and just hard in a society that is revolves around drinking. I feel like woman will not be interested in me because I will come across boring because I don't drink.
So enough of my rant. I know I can do this I just need the right support. I know I have a lot of potential to be a great human being but may never see it as long as I'm leading this lifestyle.
I've always been shy in certain situation, especially large groups and around girls. When I first started drinking it was amazing it was like I was super man, I was funny, social life of the party etc....Now when I drink and I usually cannot stop till I blackout or pass out. I don't like to just have a few and call it a night. I want to keep the party going through the night and into the morning.
When ever I try and quit I get really bored and lonely. I feel like I'm this really boring guy and I can't find ways to have fun with out drinking. I love to go out and dance and drinking usually goes with that. Usually I get lots of girls on the dance floor because I'm not great at walking up at conversating so I express my emotions through dance and girls flock to me. However I usually get so hammered at the end of the night I ruin my chances with them.
My last bender ended up with me getting really destructive and thrashing my house, bruising myself, and acting like a maniac. I know the people I'm with are probllay like wow this guy is so calm when he not drinking but once he starts drinking he is wild man. Sometimes I have good nights when I go out and drink but usually I feel guilty and ashamed of my behaviour. I have a career that I'm not happy with and thinking of going back to school to take on a new career. I will be 30 in a few years and would like to be happy with my career and find a woman, be married and start a family. I think the main reasons for my drinking is it takes away my shyness and lets me persue woman. Allthough I've been doing this for many years and it's not really getting me anywhere except meaningless one night stands etc...
So I'm going to give sobriey another try, and just hard in a society that is revolves around drinking. I feel like woman will not be interested in me because I will come across boring because I don't drink.
So enough of my rant. I know I can do this I just need the right support. I know I have a lot of potential to be a great human being but may never see it as long as I'm leading this lifestyle.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi and Welcome,
I'm glad you found us.
It sounds like you have come to the conclusion that your lifestyle is not working for you and not getting you where you want to be. I don't think our society revolves around drinking. I think it might seem that way when you're drinking, but I have found many, many things to do that don't involve drinking. Once you stop drinking and open yourself to new experiences, you may be surprised what you find.
I'm glad you found us.
It sounds like you have come to the conclusion that your lifestyle is not working for you and not getting you where you want to be. I don't think our society revolves around drinking. I think it might seem that way when you're drinking, but I have found many, many things to do that don't involve drinking. Once you stop drinking and open yourself to new experiences, you may be surprised what you find.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Guess
Welcome to SR.
It took me 15 years to decide that the cons of drinking outweighed the pros. It nearly killed me. I hope you work it out sooner
From this side of the fence? You're right - a few drinks does make things easier - but it's never a few drinks, so the benefit is lost anyway....
and because this is a progressive disease later on you find not even a few drinks does anything.
The happy garrulous life of the party fun Dee still exists - I just had to learn to bring him out without alcohol.
I had to learn to deal with my shyness and my fears of social situations - it's an ongoing process but it's a million times better than where I've been
D
Welcome to SR.
It took me 15 years to decide that the cons of drinking outweighed the pros. It nearly killed me. I hope you work it out sooner
From this side of the fence? You're right - a few drinks does make things easier - but it's never a few drinks, so the benefit is lost anyway....
and because this is a progressive disease later on you find not even a few drinks does anything.
The happy garrulous life of the party fun Dee still exists - I just had to learn to bring him out without alcohol.
I had to learn to deal with my shyness and my fears of social situations - it's an ongoing process but it's a million times better than where I've been
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 542
Dear Guess, ((((Hugs))))
That sounds like a pretty hard road to travel in life. I can very much relate to your patterns of drinking when I was a young lady. Well, I'm just older now. LOL
The shyness, and the dancing is all the same as what I use to do when I was young at your age and a similar end result. POO POO I say!! No more of that now...Sobriety is awesome Guess!!! You've come to a great and awesome Forum in SR and another thing...I'm a member of AA now too.
I tell you it's a LIFE CHANGING PROGRAM Guess and it just might be for you too. I'm somebody that SWORE I'd never go to AA. Well, I guess LOL it's a good thing I finally did cuz now I've never been more happier in my whole entire life!! You know when your all alone especially if your friends all drink it's a fabulous "Fellowship" and you make lots of super new friends there too!
Well, keep on coming back to SR and think about AA. Can't hurt Guess...I wish you all the very best in your new Journey of Sobriety. Life just keeps on "gettin' better" all the time!!!
Love Pancake xo
That sounds like a pretty hard road to travel in life. I can very much relate to your patterns of drinking when I was a young lady. Well, I'm just older now. LOL
The shyness, and the dancing is all the same as what I use to do when I was young at your age and a similar end result. POO POO I say!! No more of that now...Sobriety is awesome Guess!!! You've come to a great and awesome Forum in SR and another thing...I'm a member of AA now too.
I tell you it's a LIFE CHANGING PROGRAM Guess and it just might be for you too. I'm somebody that SWORE I'd never go to AA. Well, I guess LOL it's a good thing I finally did cuz now I've never been more happier in my whole entire life!! You know when your all alone especially if your friends all drink it's a fabulous "Fellowship" and you make lots of super new friends there too!
Well, keep on coming back to SR and think about AA. Can't hurt Guess...I wish you all the very best in your new Journey of Sobriety. Life just keeps on "gettin' better" all the time!!!
Love Pancake xo
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Well actually you don't sound like much of a chick magnet when you are drinking. Some women prefer quiet sober guys, or so I've heard. Instead of giving sobriety a try, why not just do it instead of trying. Lots of good support around here and elsewhere. I'm 118 days and it just keeps getting better. All my best to you and your success.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Even though you're shy and don't like group situations, I suggest that you give AA a try.
You're not required to speak or say anything at a meeting, you can just sit and listen. If you make sure that the folks at the meeting know you're new and are trying to get sober, they'll flock all over you. And going to a meeting is a lot better than sitting at home staring at the walls. You can call the AA number in your phone book (it's manned 24/7) and ask for the location of some meetings. It's a pretty successful program for those seriously wanting to get sober, and it sure saved my life.
You're not required to speak or say anything at a meeting, you can just sit and listen. If you make sure that the folks at the meeting know you're new and are trying to get sober, they'll flock all over you. And going to a meeting is a lot better than sitting at home staring at the walls. You can call the AA number in your phone book (it's manned 24/7) and ask for the location of some meetings. It's a pretty successful program for those seriously wanting to get sober, and it sure saved my life.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi Guess - great to have you here. You've come to some great conclusions, and at a young enough age where you can turn everything around. I felt like you when I was 28 but never considered quitting. I kept going with it, determined to control it - thought life would be so dull without it. In reality, the very thing that I thought brought me out of my shell made me withdraw further into it later in life - I was a very boring person by the end of my drinking career.
I'm shy & self-conscious too - but drinking doesn't fix that. You never grow, mature, or develop into a person with self confidence as long as you're numb. You've already found out that you're sabotaging yourself, ruining the chance you might have to meet a quality person who may become someone special in your life. So, this is where it can end! Congratulations on your decision.
I'm shy & self-conscious too - but drinking doesn't fix that. You never grow, mature, or develop into a person with self confidence as long as you're numb. You've already found out that you're sabotaging yourself, ruining the chance you might have to meet a quality person who may become someone special in your life. So, this is where it can end! Congratulations on your decision.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 101
Welcome! You're supported and welcome here!
I don't know why everyone thinks that sobriety is boring. I try and do more things, hold more intelligent and articulate conversations and am far more wittier sober than drunk.
You can find a woman without drinking. Trust me, a shy guy is cuter and more attractive than a loud mouth drunk and obnoxious man.
I don't know why everyone thinks that sobriety is boring. I try and do more things, hold more intelligent and articulate conversations and am far more wittier sober than drunk.
You can find a woman without drinking. Trust me, a shy guy is cuter and more attractive than a loud mouth drunk and obnoxious man.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Originally Posted by Pancake 
Dear Guess, ((((Hugs))))
That sounds like a pretty hard road to travel in life. I can very much relate to your patterns of drinking when I was a young lady. Well, I'm just older now. LOL
The shyness, and the dancing is all the same as what I use to do when I was young at your age and a similar end result. POO POO I say!! No more of that now...Sobriety is awesome Guess!!! You've come to a great and awesome Forum in SR and another thing...I'm a member of AA now too.
I tell you it's a LIFE CHANGING PROGRAM Guess and it just might be for you too. I'm somebody that SWORE I'd never go to AA. Well, I guess LOL it's a good thing I finally did cuz now I've never been more happier in my whole entire life!! You know when your all alone especially if your friends all drink it's a fabulous "Fellowship" and you make lots of super new friends there too!
Well, keep on coming back to SR and think about AA. Can't hurt Guess...I wish you all the very best in your new Journey of Sobriety. Life just keeps on "gettin' better" all the time!!!
Love Pancake xo
That sounds like a pretty hard road to travel in life. I can very much relate to your patterns of drinking when I was a young lady. Well, I'm just older now. LOL
The shyness, and the dancing is all the same as what I use to do when I was young at your age and a similar end result. POO POO I say!! No more of that now...Sobriety is awesome Guess!!! You've come to a great and awesome Forum in SR and another thing...I'm a member of AA now too.
I tell you it's a LIFE CHANGING PROGRAM Guess and it just might be for you too. I'm somebody that SWORE I'd never go to AA. Well, I guess LOL it's a good thing I finally did cuz now I've never been more happier in my whole entire life!! You know when your all alone especially if your friends all drink it's a fabulous "Fellowship" and you make lots of super new friends there too!
Well, keep on coming back to SR and think about AA. Can't hurt Guess...I wish you all the very best in your new Journey of Sobriety. Life just keeps on "gettin' better" all the time!!!
Love Pancake xo
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Guess looking a good woman in a bar stacks the odds against you.
The good women at a bar will have one or 2 drinks and leave, the last thing they are interested in is a drunk or some guy working on getting there.
What you will find in a bar is basically what you have found so far, women just like you getting drunk and seeking out a one night stand.
As already stated just not drinking to stay stopped leads to boredom, at least it did for me and over and over again I would go back to drinking because I was misreable not drinking, I had no idea how to live life sober, all I would do is sit around not drinking thinking about drinking, now that was one hell of a life. That life for me got worse and worse until I had to drink every day just to function and I sat in my garage alone drinking to where I would not get a DUI or thrown in jail for DIP!
AA was my salvation, I found a life I never imagined, one free of alcohol and chock full of good sober people!
The AA program and fellowship have led me to a life where I can do every single thing sober I did while drinking and SO MUCH more, and I remember what happened as well.
Oh yea and I have not woke up in the morning since I got sober finding the urge to chew my arm off to be a good idea.
The good women at a bar will have one or 2 drinks and leave, the last thing they are interested in is a drunk or some guy working on getting there.
What you will find in a bar is basically what you have found so far, women just like you getting drunk and seeking out a one night stand.
As already stated just not drinking to stay stopped leads to boredom, at least it did for me and over and over again I would go back to drinking because I was misreable not drinking, I had no idea how to live life sober, all I would do is sit around not drinking thinking about drinking, now that was one hell of a life. That life for me got worse and worse until I had to drink every day just to function and I sat in my garage alone drinking to where I would not get a DUI or thrown in jail for DIP!
AA was my salvation, I found a life I never imagined, one free of alcohol and chock full of good sober people!
The AA program and fellowship have led me to a life where I can do every single thing sober I did while drinking and SO MUCH more, and I remember what happened as well.
Oh yea and I have not woke up in the morning since I got sober finding the urge to chew my arm off to be a good idea.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Welcome to SR. Thinking about having to live a sober life, especially in early sobriety, can drive you nuts.
Slow down....take it a moment at a time. Pretty soon, you can't imagine why you liked being a drunk. Sobriety that rocks can happen.
Slow down....take it a moment at a time. Pretty soon, you can't imagine why you liked being a drunk. Sobriety that rocks can happen.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
I can understand the drinking to overcome the shyness but in the long run it ends in guilt and shame. I lived like that for years. Finding new circles of friends and avoiding the bars is really important. You can do this, it's not easy but very possible! I wish you the best!
God Bless!
God Bless!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello and welcome to sr,this is a great forum with plenty of support.i am ditto to what pancake said,,,i have a life now that i never thought was possible after 20 yrs of alcoholic drinking.i couldnt have got sober on my own and my sobriety today is thanks to the fellowship of AA and the 12 step recovery programme.keep us posted and nice to meet you.
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