Newbie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 26
Newbie
Hey, I'm a little nervous about posting here (I think I'm in the right forum and right place) but here goes..
From when I was a child I had always shunned alcohol and hadn't understood the point of it, until I started to drink aged 17-18. For the first half year to year I would only do it on occasion, but one thing leads to another. By the time I was 19-19 and a half I was a fully fledged alcoholic. I had no job, no education prospect and was drinking up to a bottle of vodka per day. I lived with my mother and my now ex-girlfriend (she tried to help, but alcohol was almost shielding problems between us). I turned 20 in January 2009 and have since November 08 cut vodka out of my life completely. I had and have replaced that with lager/cider (perhaps not wise). Things wree going fine but in the last month or two I have noticed personally my intake increasing again and I am worried. I have not attended AA or any grouping, I have only taken things into account on my own and with my mother. I am a man who likes to go out and have a couple of drinks with friends, but it isn't really this that is worrying me, it is the drinking I do alone.
I am worried for my health and well being, but I hope that some of you can realise that you cannot just walk away cold turkey without any thought. It has and is being a hard process for me.
Sorry for the long post I just wanted to say hi and introduce if I could.
From when I was a child I had always shunned alcohol and hadn't understood the point of it, until I started to drink aged 17-18. For the first half year to year I would only do it on occasion, but one thing leads to another. By the time I was 19-19 and a half I was a fully fledged alcoholic. I had no job, no education prospect and was drinking up to a bottle of vodka per day. I lived with my mother and my now ex-girlfriend (she tried to help, but alcohol was almost shielding problems between us). I turned 20 in January 2009 and have since November 08 cut vodka out of my life completely. I had and have replaced that with lager/cider (perhaps not wise). Things wree going fine but in the last month or two I have noticed personally my intake increasing again and I am worried. I have not attended AA or any grouping, I have only taken things into account on my own and with my mother. I am a man who likes to go out and have a couple of drinks with friends, but it isn't really this that is worrying me, it is the drinking I do alone.
I am worried for my health and well being, but I hope that some of you can realise that you cannot just walk away cold turkey without any thought. It has and is being a hard process for me.
Sorry for the long post I just wanted to say hi and introduce if I could.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
Hi Silence
The great thing about this place is ..we get it. We've been there.
It takes a long time to suspect you might have a problem, and sometimes an even longer time to decide what to do about it.
Read here a while, post and ask as many questions as you like and I hope we can help you to figure some stuff out
welcome to SR!
D
The great thing about this place is ..we get it. We've been there.
It takes a long time to suspect you might have a problem, and sometimes an even longer time to decide what to do about it.
Read here a while, post and ask as many questions as you like and I hope we can help you to figure some stuff out
welcome to SR!
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi and Welcome,
I agree with you that it's hard to come to the realization that you're an alcoholic. I had a very time accepting that I couldn't drink. I was afraid to stop drinking, because I didn't know what my life would be like. Unfortunately, my addiction got worse as I was waivering. I hope you take a look around and read and post.
I agree with you that it's hard to come to the realization that you're an alcoholic. I had a very time accepting that I couldn't drink. I was afraid to stop drinking, because I didn't know what my life would be like. Unfortunately, my addiction got worse as I was waivering. I hope you take a look around and read and post.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: variable....
Posts: 36
hello.... i just joined here, not altogether sure on how it works yet! i also started to drink everyday, often alone at about 17/18..
it gradually got worse and have been an alcoholic for the past 5 years or so until it got very bad and i quit july 4th this year...
hope you can cut it out before it gets bad! give me a shout if you need to talk
x tess x
it gradually got worse and have been an alcoholic for the past 5 years or so until it got very bad and i quit july 4th this year...
hope you can cut it out before it gets bad! give me a shout if you need to talk
x tess x
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Hi Silence, welcome to SR. You are very fortunate to realize that Alcohol is a problem while you are so young. Quitting may not always be easy, but you are not alone and sobriety is Always worth it.
Cathy
Cathy
vicariousrising
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 35
I just stumbled into this forum today myself, but I've been trolling the sober blogs and websites for several years now.
Glad you found this place and put up a post. I think my best advice to you would be to keep coming back and sharing how you are doing with the people here. You'll probably find a few of us that know where you are coming from. I related to the part of your post that talked about your concern about the drinking you do alone. I wasn't someone who overdid it when I was out with my friends, but when I got home.... yikes. That's when my thirst let loose.
Glad you found this place and put up a post. I think my best advice to you would be to keep coming back and sharing how you are doing with the people here. You'll probably find a few of us that know where you are coming from. I related to the part of your post that talked about your concern about the drinking you do alone. I wasn't someone who overdid it when I was out with my friends, but when I got home.... yikes. That's when my thirst let loose.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 26
Wow, I must admit I'm a little overwhelmed by the amount of responces, thanks all, thanks for being welcoming and being such a friendly bunch!
As I said in my first post, I do go out and have a drink with many people my age. I don't find pubs/bars that daunting, I don't feel I must go in and drink the place dry (as a number of my friends do), so I think I must ahve had around four drinks yesterday. I don't particularly mind that but I know from experience it can get a lot worse.
I could quite easily go and buy some cans right now and tell myself I'll have two, but I'm almost sure that will lead to many more. I believe that certain people have an addictive personality, I just need to find something else! That is one of the main reasons I rarely gamble, I have seen people lose a small fortune down that route.
I've noticed a few people have said that I am lucky to have realise young, does that have a big influence? Sorry if that sounds stupid but I am new to all of this kind of thing. I'm not sure if I want to completely stop because I like to go out and have a good time, and, as much as anything else, money stops me from drinking too much on a night out so I don't really worry about that.
Thanks for listening to me ramble on!
As I said in my first post, I do go out and have a drink with many people my age. I don't find pubs/bars that daunting, I don't feel I must go in and drink the place dry (as a number of my friends do), so I think I must ahve had around four drinks yesterday. I don't particularly mind that but I know from experience it can get a lot worse.
I could quite easily go and buy some cans right now and tell myself I'll have two, but I'm almost sure that will lead to many more. I believe that certain people have an addictive personality, I just need to find something else! That is one of the main reasons I rarely gamble, I have seen people lose a small fortune down that route.
I've noticed a few people have said that I am lucky to have realise young, does that have a big influence? Sorry if that sounds stupid but I am new to all of this kind of thing. I'm not sure if I want to completely stop because I like to go out and have a good time, and, as much as anything else, money stops me from drinking too much on a night out so I don't really worry about that.
Thanks for listening to me ramble on!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR Silence.
I quoted you because you said you were an alcoholic, a problem that is not known of or not admitted to can not be resolved, so if you are an alcoholic it is an excellent beginning to resolving the issue. I am an alcoholic, but I suffered in a big time way from one of the major symptoms of alcoholics, the symptom of denial of my alcoholism.
Now a question if I may, are you pretty much an all or nothing person?
I am, and most alcoholics I know are. I used to try to "Control" my drinking and would have fairly good results for a while, but was always pretty antsy if I only drank 3 or 4 and then made myself stop. I always wanted more until I either passed out or was so drunk I went to bed.
I have found that life is good by not drinking at all. There is a saying in AA that "One is to many and a thousand is not enough!" That is the way it has always been with me, especially with booze.
For me it was close to being like torture to just drink a few.
I would highly reccommend doing a bit of research on alcoholism, you will find out that according to the main stream medical and scientific community that the following is fact:
1. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, an alcoholics disease always progresses with every drink, it never levels off, it gets worse with every drink.
2. There is NO cure for alcoholism, just because an alcoholic does not drink for 20+ years does not mean they are cured or their disease has lessened. I have first hand knowledge of one guy, 22 years sober, he decided he could now handle it and started to drink again, in less then 3 months he got 2 DUIs and totalled his motorcycle and is still drinking heavier then he ever has.
3. The only way to arrest the progression of alcoholism is total abstinace.
Not a single one of us has just walked away from it. For me before I finally REALLY quit alcohol had totally kicked my butt, the last 5 years I drank I did not draw a single sober breath, I drank most of the time alone even when I did not want to drink I had to drink or I got sick!
For at least the last 10 years of my drinking I was constantly debating with myself, do I REALLY need to quit or even moderate? What will I do if I am not drinking?
I had no idea how far down my alcoholism took me until I had been sober over a year and even today almost 3 years since my last drink I am still becomeing more aware of just how AWESOME sobriety is & how much I missed out on being drunk or in the process of getting drunk.
Look when you decide you have drank enough, when you get sick and tired of being sick & tired and you have decided you need to quit, why not check out some AA meetings, meet some folks both young and old who have been sober a while, who have a twinkle in their eye, a smile on thier face and an air of self worth and happiness about them.
If you decide that you would like to have what they have and you are willing to do what they did to get that way, then just ask them if they could show you how they did it.
I promise you that all of your fears you have of being sober will dissappear and be replaced with a new joy you will find in leading a life free of the bondage of alcohol.
I was a fully fledged alcoholic.
Now a question if I may, are you pretty much an all or nothing person?
I am, and most alcoholics I know are. I used to try to "Control" my drinking and would have fairly good results for a while, but was always pretty antsy if I only drank 3 or 4 and then made myself stop. I always wanted more until I either passed out or was so drunk I went to bed.
I have found that life is good by not drinking at all. There is a saying in AA that "One is to many and a thousand is not enough!" That is the way it has always been with me, especially with booze.
For me it was close to being like torture to just drink a few.
I would highly reccommend doing a bit of research on alcoholism, you will find out that according to the main stream medical and scientific community that the following is fact:
1. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, an alcoholics disease always progresses with every drink, it never levels off, it gets worse with every drink.
2. There is NO cure for alcoholism, just because an alcoholic does not drink for 20+ years does not mean they are cured or their disease has lessened. I have first hand knowledge of one guy, 22 years sober, he decided he could now handle it and started to drink again, in less then 3 months he got 2 DUIs and totalled his motorcycle and is still drinking heavier then he ever has.
3. The only way to arrest the progression of alcoholism is total abstinace.
I am worried for my health and well being, but I hope that some of you can realise that you cannot just walk away cold turkey without any thought. It has and is being a hard process for me.
For at least the last 10 years of my drinking I was constantly debating with myself, do I REALLY need to quit or even moderate? What will I do if I am not drinking?
I had no idea how far down my alcoholism took me until I had been sober over a year and even today almost 3 years since my last drink I am still becomeing more aware of just how AWESOME sobriety is & how much I missed out on being drunk or in the process of getting drunk.
Look when you decide you have drank enough, when you get sick and tired of being sick & tired and you have decided you need to quit, why not check out some AA meetings, meet some folks both young and old who have been sober a while, who have a twinkle in their eye, a smile on thier face and an air of self worth and happiness about them.
If you decide that you would like to have what they have and you are willing to do what they did to get that way, then just ask them if they could show you how they did it.
I promise you that all of your fears you have of being sober will dissappear and be replaced with a new joy you will find in leading a life free of the bondage of alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Welcome Silence,
It is very good you realize there is a problem and you are young. I think most your age who are alcoholic or drink alcoholically just think that is what they are suppose to be doing. Most don't stop until something awful happens. Alot of people here had the same feelings you are having but did nothing and watched it progress. Once I stopped I realized how bad my situation was but I couldn't see it while actively drinking. Sure there are people who don't think they are alcoholics but they have no idea how much harm they are doing to their body. Good luck and keep posting and reading.
It is very good you realize there is a problem and you are young. I think most your age who are alcoholic or drink alcoholically just think that is what they are suppose to be doing. Most don't stop until something awful happens. Alot of people here had the same feelings you are having but did nothing and watched it progress. Once I stopped I realized how bad my situation was but I couldn't see it while actively drinking. Sure there are people who don't think they are alcoholics but they have no idea how much harm they are doing to their body. Good luck and keep posting and reading.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 26
Just an update.
As I've previously said, I don't feel thats at this point I need to be completely abstinant, and I hope that doesn't make me an outsider. I have successfully downgraded from being at a point where alcohol is everything to enjoying a drink every night or so, but I fear that I have yet again atarted to make it more regular. I almost feel guilty for posting this here as I know this is predominantly for people who have had a horrible time with alcohol and are completely abstinant.
I am trying, but I feel that there are times when getting lost for an hour or two is okay, but I remember having those feelings when I was out of control. Sorry to moan but I could lend a hand.
As I've previously said, I don't feel thats at this point I need to be completely abstinant, and I hope that doesn't make me an outsider. I have successfully downgraded from being at a point where alcohol is everything to enjoying a drink every night or so, but I fear that I have yet again atarted to make it more regular. I almost feel guilty for posting this here as I know this is predominantly for people who have had a horrible time with alcohol and are completely abstinant.
I am trying, but I feel that there are times when getting lost for an hour or two is okay, but I remember having those feelings when I was out of control. Sorry to moan but I could lend a hand.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
I stopped wanting to get lost - it got me very lost indeed LOL - so there's probably not much more I can add but to wish you well on your journey
I hope you find what you're looking for, silence.
D
I hope you find what you're looking for, silence.
D
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