18 days sober, i cant cope!
 

I went into a treatment centre for 16 days and completed my time there, it was tough i was tempted to walk out after a week but i stuck with it. I have been out of rehab for 3days now. Problem is although i have not had a drink for a long time, i still feel physically and mentally unwell. If anything some of my non related drink problems have come back worse because alot of my problems were being numbed by alcohol. I dont know what to do i feel so depressed. When i come out of treatment centre i had no energy and its been a real struggle to even get out for a 20 minute walk. I thought i would be feeling alot better by now. I went to my first aa meeting since leaving treatment earlier today, its hard so hard. I have completly screwed the past 2/3 years of my life up dropped uni quit my job, stopped sociallizing and going out basically become abit of a recluse.

I have very low self esteem and get anxiety bad. The mental problems i have is preventing me from even seeking help, i have numbers from aa which i cant bring myself to ring. Im so lost. There is this part of my brain trying to trick me into drinking again. Who knows i may be able to drink reasonable amounts, but its like roulette if i pick up a drink again i could end up in a treatment centre x amount of months/years down the line again. I can control drinking alot of the time but eventually it does catch up with me.

Hi,

I'm glad that you got through your rehab time. Did you get checked out by a dr while you were there, as far as the physical problems you are having and the mental problems too? Early sobriety is often a roller-coaster because the problems that we were hiding from are still there and we can no longer numb them away. So, be patient with yourself and try to deal with one thing at a time.

I urge you to talk to your dr because you are feeling unwell physically and mentally.

Yes, Anna is right. Do check in with your doctor and let him/her know what is going on. Your body is going through some changes and there may be some things your doctor can help you with. Please don't give up. Just take things one day at a time and keep going to meetings, even if you have to force yourself. It will take a little time, but you will start to feel better. :hug:

For me, I used alcohol as a tool to cope with problems. It turned out that the tool was causing me more harm than what I was using it to fix. After I put down the alcohol, all the problems were still there and needed to be sorted out. The great thing was though, that being sober meant that I could slowly sort these things out overtime.

Somebody once said that, being a drunk is like being lost at sea for years. We can't expect to just stop rowing and find ourselves back at shore.

"i have numbers from aa which i cant bring myself to ring."

When the pain becomes great enough make a call or two.

Or... make a call or two BEFORE the pain becomes great enough.

Keep coming back. ;)

Early sobriety is really hard - but doubly so if you have underlying issues.
I really think you should see a Dr NH.

And ringing one of those AA numbers might not be the worst idea in the world - having someone to talk to and bounce ideas off is a good thing.

and pls keep posting
D

It would'nt be so bad if i actually felt like doing things or had things to fill my day with. Im also unhappy with living at home with my parents, i find they can be negative for me in large doses. Argghh this sucks, I was hoping when i left treatment centre i would feel good and could take up exercise, i took up hiking last year when i was sober for 5 weeks that helped me greatly. Im not sure why i feel physically drained maybe its mild depression. If i end up relapsing it will be a few lagers in the rucksack to give me a boost to do some hiking.

Please don't do that. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to get out and do things but then once we get there, we do fine. And yes, depression can cause one to feel physically drained. Another reason you should check in with your doctor. There are things that can help you through this tough time. Please don't pick up...it won't help anything. There's a saying around here...there's nothing so bad that drinking won't make worse. It's true. Please hang in there.

The thing about relapse is that you never know if this was your last chance. It took me ten miserable years to stop again after one relapse. Some people don't even get a second chance; they just die.

Think about the tools you were taught in rehab. I understand that it's different out there in the real world, and I was scared when I left rehab, too. Keep going to meetings. Get to know people at them. Pick one of those phone numbers and use it, okay?

I suffer from depression and anxiety and I know how hard it can be without booze to numb you out or lift you up, but it really does get better, I promise. Take some sort of positive action tonight, and put another sober day behind you.

Sounds like it is just a point in time where you may have to force yourself to do things. The first thing to force yourself to do would be to see a Doctor and tell him/her how you feel. Also, exercise can alleviate mild depression, but you have to force yourself to do it in the beginning.

If you did this right now it would not be a relapse, it would be just continuing after a short break. There needs to be some recovery before it would be considered a relapse. A few lagers in your rucksack won't give you a boost to do some hiking. Were you doing it before treatment?

Whatever pain or troubles you are in have faith, be still and repeat this simple prayer: "This too shall pass" I feel your pain as I have gone through it before. STep 2 was the doorway to the answer for me. Good to have you here.:welcome

Welcome to SR, NH. I agree that a visit to the doctor would be a great second step, the first one is don't pick up. If you can get yourself out onto a trail (sans lager) you may find yourself feeling a little better each time. Maybe someone from your AA meetings would like to go along - having someone you've made a plan to go with may give you the motivation to get out there and do it.

Oh the phone...pick it up if you possibly can. You don't have to say anything in particular. It can be only about establishing some kind of contact.

n/h25

i could of written your posts my self in my early days of being sober,in fact if you read my early posts i think i did

lonliness ,depression,anxiety i think i had it all and some to spare

but if you move on 7 weeks i;m on top of the world :c033:

give it time the demon drink wont give you up without a fight :e124:

You can cope. It may be very difficult, but you can do it. No one ever died from not drinking.

Unmitigated bullsh*t. Sorry, but that's what it is. Try doing recovering as a thing to fill your day. Those thoughts in your head right are not reality. They may seem real to you, but they are not reality.

It comes down to this. You are on the verge of drinking promptly after getting out of rehab. What lengths are you willing to go to in order to avoid that? If you're not willing to even make a phone call, there is not much that anybody can do to help you.

It is now entirely up to you. What are you willing to do, right now, today?

I would advise against the beers in the rucksack dude, I have been there way too many times.

You may feel 'something' for a brief few moments when the first few cans go down and the promise of having 'something' happening and feeling a release from the undescribale feeling of mundaneness of your day lifted but no-sooner as that 'something' appears it has gone and you will be likely stocking that rucksack back up with enough to see ya right for tomorrow as well. Before you know it you have cleared all of your beers and you have let yourself down and your parents and thus your feeling even more hopeless and another 'drunk' seems like the only escape.

I have played that scenario out way too many times and it is incredibly lonely when your only 'friend' comes from a can.

But only you can decide to not drink and it's your call. Your situation reminds me of mine in many ways, booze is not your friend but in actual fact your worst enemy. I am only just beginning to see that now.