effortjoy

When I tried to quit for my husband and children it never worked because it always seemed (and this might even be true given the stage of my drinking problem) that I wasn't really hurting anyone else. I was always there for my kids (sober) at all of their important events, and even on a daily basis. Even my marriage was sometimes even helped by drinking (it allowed me to relax and play the role of hostess on countless occasions) So I realized now (I'm on my third day) that I'm not going to quit for anyone else. I need to do this for myself. But the problem is that I have spent the last 15 years of life so focused on my "image" and how others perceive me that I have no clue who I am. And since drinking completely destroys one's self esteem, I have been spending a lot of mental energy today just trying to convince myself that I am "worth" it. That it makes sense to take care of myself and recover because I deserve it. I don't believe this completely yet, but I want to believe it because I think that it is central to my remaining sober. How do you convince yourself that you (and not just your external persona) matter?

Anna

It's ironic that many of us drink because of low self-esteem, and then find that what little self-esteem we had left is obliterated.

When I stopped drinking, initially it was for my husband and kids. I was making a mess of everything. But, after beginning recovery, I began to find little bits of joy in my life and my desire to recover became about 'me', more than for my family. I found that making one small change has a ripple effect in your life.

Bamboozle

It takes some time...or at least that's been my experience.

You already know you need to take care of yourself...and that's very important.


I still have a long ways to go, but I'm working on loving myself by letting go of the self loathing.

Things have gotten better and will continue to get better.

Congrats on the sober time!

tommyk

Honesty, openmindedness, and willingness.

Sift through the lies in your mind, recognize the truth.

Dee74

hi effortjoy

that was on of my biggies too - I didn't think I was worth it...but I believed the good people who said I was...

so I stayed sober, through all the ups and downs - I did my best to be a help to others here - and imperceptibly my self image changed, and my self esteem got healthier...and I began to stay sober...for me

if you can, don't worry too much about it....just let it roll
D

hope3

Hi and welcome...for me the truth was that

even though I thought I was a better hostess, was

funnier, sexier, smarter and just all around better when

I could take the edge off with a drink....Later I would

find out it was all in my head..

It takes time, but real self esteem, and honestly loving myself

is much better than a drink...ever made me feel.

...Best wishes, hope3