CarolD

Prayers coming your way
Please say as safe as possible.....

Dee74

A lot of people here love and respect you Susan. Just read this thread.
Think on that instead of the other stuff.

I hope you find some peace today

D

nelco

I also hope you find peace today Least,

least

i've been awake most of the night, trying to get some sleep but so sick i can't sleep. i've been praying for god's forgiveness. all i want is peace and i can't find it. am so afraid. afraid to sleep and afraid to stay awake. if i can get thru today i will be alright. just trying to get thru today.

Pelican

((((Susan))))

Serenity Prayer:

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change (people, places, things)
Courage to change the things I can (me, myself and I)
and Wisdom to know the difference.


You can not do anything to change your daughter and her reactions to you. She is in control of her feelings about you.

Please be gentle with yourself.

KenL

Hey Susan,

I hope you're day goes well today. You've had a hard go of things for a little while here. I'm thinking of you and sending hopes and prayers. Please take care of yourself. I wonder if you remember the pic of that toaster cover dog from waaaay back. I still think of it from time to time and it brings a smile to my face. Thanks for posting those pics on that thread. It shows just what a good, caring and thoughtful person you truly are.

Peace.

keithj

Hi Least,

I'm so glad you're posting as you go through this. Look at how many people disappear when they are struggling. That's what I always did. I'd disappear from everyone in my life when I was drinking. I was filled with shame and fear. I wanted to save face by looking good to the outside, all the while dying inside.

And when I couldn't take it anymore I gave up. I stopped caring what anyone thought and I made a single phone call to a person that had found a way out of this. He laid out a spiritual solution for me. I followed it and recovered.

I think it's a rough spot you're in. Many people find themselves willing and open to a spiritual solution, but have trouble getting enough traction of sober days to get started. We all think we have to get 'good' or be forgiven before we can begin. In my experience, it just ain't so. We just have to take the action.

I understand that you have a faith in a higher power. I wouldn't ask you to alter that belief in any way. But I would ask you to be open minded. Maybe set that concept aside for a bit. It sounds counter intuitive, I know. But over and over I see people that have strong faith fail to find sobriety. They are in the same spot you are. It can be difficult to find sobriety with the same relation to God that you have at present. Are you willing to have a new relationship with that higher power? It's scary.

That can be key. Willingness to let go of whatever notions you have. Everytime I've worked the steps of AA, I've begun with a Set Aside Prayer, that asks God to set aside everything I think I know about alcoholism, the Big Book, and especially about God. I ask for a truly open mind that I might have a new experience.

And then I seek that new relationship. I take a set of simple actions that enable me to have that new relationship.

One simple action today, Least. Find somebody who has had a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps, and start seeking today.

Philly

My prayers are going out to you. I am so sorry you feel this way but you must forgive yourself. Please just keep posting today to get through this. We all know you can do this. This is exactly where you should be all day if you have to. You help so many on this site and we really need you here. I am sending hugs through your dogs. I hope you can get some strength. Good luck and just keep posting.

gerryP

Hi Least,

Hope you are doing better today.

Do you feel that your being able to stop drinking today/tomorrow...is contingent upon God forgiving you and you being able to forgive yourself? If that is how you feel, I worry that you getting sober is going to be further dragged out. If you agree that God is all forgiving, you are forgiven. As far as forgiving yourself....what benefit is there in not letting it go and getting on with stopping?

Freeport

Least, I hope you're doing better. I didn't log on yesterday and now regret it. You've inspired me many times over the past couple of months, and just know that many people here care about you. Your only problem is the same one we all bear: We're human. You're in the prayers of all of us. You can overcome this obstacle, and you've taken a huge step by not retreating into a shell. Please keep posting!

SomeCallMeTim

My friend, this disease is an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind. The mental aspect can play havoc. I have been to lock up psych wards, detoxes, shrinks, you name it. The 3 things that work for me are admitting i was whipped and powerless, coming to believe in a power greater than myself, and sharing with other people just like me. Please stop beating yourself down, it's the disease talking to you. It's not really who you are. I'm praying for you. :praying

least

I poured out the rest of the wine, now drinking chamomile tea to deal with the anxiety I brought on myself.

THank you all for support and prayers. It means a lot to me.

suki44883

((((LEAST))))

Ananda

gosh least! I don't know how i missed this

You have consistantly been an inspiration to me...you know you can do this deal (hug)

Hopefully you are sober today and working your way through this...Having just gone through this, I can tell you that for me it was really about 3 days before i started to feel a lot better.

Do whatever you need to do to get sober Least. You've come so far (hug)

rc29

My sponsor told me that an AA meeting that turns away a wet drunk is not an AA meeting. I see no reason it wouldn't be the same on this site.
I wish you all the best.

CoF1984

Least, I've known ya as long as I've been around on this site and I think you're a wonderful person. Please keep coming here and see your therapist, pyschiatrist whoever you need that will be of help to you. All of us here will do anything we possibly can for you because we want the best for you. We love and care about you Least. And the great thing is that you're showing that you don't want to give up.

And the reason I quoted you up there, I'm trying to be helpful here so please take or leave this as needed, but God as I understand him is all loving, all forgiving and always there and ready to help those who seek his help. If ya need ask him for strength beyond what is normal. I hope this is helpful and not offensive, please forgive me if this is taken the wrong way.

Least I'll definitely be praying for you. And if I can do anything, anything at all for you...please let me know. Myself and many others here are willing to do what we can to be of help. We love you.

Wes

least

Right now I'm feeling as horrible as I deserve to feel. I need to learn from this misery and not do it again. I do'nt want to die from drinking. I want to live sober and not feeling sick all the time. I want to stop destroying myself. This is it. I am done with drinking. I've had enough misery to last a lifetime. I want to get out of this hell and stay out.

IO Storm

I am glad you didn't leave SR Least.

I'm glad you started your own thread...you needed this!

I'm glad you put down the drink.

Praying for you..

vegibean

You know I tried posting this morning on my way out the door and this site hates me sometimes. I wanted to tell you to have a better day and that I hope today will be better than the last. Everyone here cares tons about you.

Leave? I'll kick your @ss!!!! Don't you even THINK about that!!

You are part of this SR Family Girl!! Hang in there, you have my support 110%!!!! Tons of thoughts, love and hugs!! :ghug3

Lenina

Least,

Please keep posting. You help more people than you know.

I may be wrong but it seems to me a lot of what gets you stirred up is family stuff. Have you considered going to CoDa meetings? Or read much about codependency? My family used to keep me riled up until I learned how to detach with love. It's something to think about.

Much love,

Lenina