New at this - looking for support
I just got up and read everyone's replies... I want to say thank you to everyone! It's nice finding somewhere that everyone is so supportive and non-judgmental. I'm going to try to make this day 1 of being sober. I'm wondering what to do about next weekend though... I'm going to Vegas for a bachelorette party. I know there will be too much temptation. Is it possible for anyone to just drink on special occasions, but not let it get out of hand? Has anyone tried this?
I don't think anyone is trying to tell you what to do but MAINLY speaking from experience and knowing that it has NOT worked for us in the past.
Living in sobriety is going to take some life changing. Hope you'll keep reading and posting. No matter what, you'll get good support and insight here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
I went to a bachelorette party a couple of months ago - it was at a friend's house, then everyone went to the bar. The gal who was getting married is a friend in recovery, and I was the only one besides her not drinking. This was the first time I had been in a bar since my first meeting 8 years ago - and had the friend not been a close one, ,there is no way I would have gone.
If you decide that a sober lifestyle is what you desire, you will find yourself facing many situations like the bachelorette party. Birthdays, Christmas and Thanksgiving were my big triggers. I found that if I protected my sobriety at whatever the cost - even if it meant bowing out of certain 'obligations' or leaving early (taking my own car so I wasn't trapped) - these and many other situations became doable.
It's a lot to take in, I know. Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings about this here. Many of us have been in your shoes and understand.
If you decide that a sober lifestyle is what you desire, you will find yourself facing many situations like the bachelorette party. Birthdays, Christmas and Thanksgiving were my big triggers. I found that if I protected my sobriety at whatever the cost - even if it meant bowing out of certain 'obligations' or leaving early (taking my own car so I wasn't trapped) - these and many other situations became doable.
It's a lot to take in, I know. Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings about this here. Many of us have been in your shoes and understand.
Thank you for that post, a little late but I wanted to make a comment because it gave me chills. Your story is incredibly similar to mine. The age starting, the pattern of use, being able to keep up with work and a good schoool, similar gpa and such. I totally hid my drinking from everybody, at least in terms of frequency. When I turned 21, I always had access to alcohol and drugs before, but I was scared. So I asked for help for the first time within a week of my 21st birthday and I got some good advice about AA and stuff but I wasn't ready. I made it a week or two sober and then went back to my old behavior once I started feeling better about myself. I ended up having an alcohol induced nervous breakdown prior to my senior year in college. I spent the next two years drunk doing nothing. And now at 24 I have sobriety and it is sticking. Please take the oppurtunity to work on this now, you sound like you have a really good handle on your problem and it is really up to you. I know the feeling of wanting sobriety but unsure of how to do it. AA is a good place to start, even if you don't like it, it does help. Good luck and thanks again.
Welcome to SR Collegegirl!
Functional alcoholic here too! I started drinking at 14 and had older brothers to get my booze and would often spend most week nights hanging with them drinking. I should've definitely been on here during university. You are very insightful and fortunate to realize this so young! I finished university, held down jobs, and travelled (living and working) all over the world, thinking I was just having fun with my drinking.
Well, at 36 I started realizing I had a drinking problem. You are sooo lucky to realize it so young. It feels like I have not made the most of so many years worth of opportunities because of my drinking. You still have so many opportunities ahead of you! You won't have to miss out on them b/c you are drinking so much.
IMHO, You are fortunate to be in university right now, because as mentioned above, you have LOTS of resources available. You have meetings and easy access to meeting others your age who don't drink and are going through something similar to you.
As far as the bachelorette party......yikes! I relapsed when I thought I could go to a BonVoyage party and stay sober (after 9 days sobriety). I had to avoid all situations with alcohol for a while at first. The only options for entertainment at first were coffee, movies, lunch, breakfast, walking around the city/parks, or shopping. In the evenings, I just said I was tired, had a headache, and eventually "I'm not drinking because I need to lose weight." That's where I am now.
My advice would be...... avoid the bachelorette party.
Best Wishes!
Functional alcoholic here too! I started drinking at 14 and had older brothers to get my booze and would often spend most week nights hanging with them drinking. I should've definitely been on here during university. You are very insightful and fortunate to realize this so young! I finished university, held down jobs, and travelled (living and working) all over the world, thinking I was just having fun with my drinking.
Well, at 36 I started realizing I had a drinking problem. You are sooo lucky to realize it so young. It feels like I have not made the most of so many years worth of opportunities because of my drinking. You still have so many opportunities ahead of you! You won't have to miss out on them b/c you are drinking so much.
IMHO, You are fortunate to be in university right now, because as mentioned above, you have LOTS of resources available. You have meetings and easy access to meeting others your age who don't drink and are going through something similar to you.
As far as the bachelorette party......yikes! I relapsed when I thought I could go to a BonVoyage party and stay sober (after 9 days sobriety). I had to avoid all situations with alcohol for a while at first. The only options for entertainment at first were coffee, movies, lunch, breakfast, walking around the city/parks, or shopping. In the evenings, I just said I was tired, had a headache, and eventually "I'm not drinking because I need to lose weight." That's where I am now.
My advice would be...... avoid the bachelorette party.
Best Wishes!
I had to bow out of three invites tonight... one included a large yacht, 5 course meal & all of the booze any alcoholic could drink.
I spent some quality time with my father instead, he even said how great of a day he had when we were saying good bye.
You can always plan a wonderful straight evening with your friend with all of the money that you would have spent on your Vegas trip (just the two of you).
I am a guy but hey... I will give this a shot:
Massage for two at a nice spa
Manicure & pedicure
Visit a hair salon (style & cut)
Dinner for 2 at a really nice restaurant (sparkling water & all :-)
Chick flick at a local theater
Movie wrap up at a local coffee house (girl chat included)
This will be a night you will both cherish & remember for the rest of your life, far more than any Vegas bachelorette party... I promise.
You can hear about all of the silly/stupid things they did & how wasted they got when you have dinner with your friend (and know you didnt really miss anything).
All of the best with whatever you choose, I know its tough.
P.S. If you tell her about your drinking & that you are trying to stay sober she will understand... make sure you include your backup plan as well ;-)
Take Care,
NB
I spent some quality time with my father instead, he even said how great of a day he had when we were saying good bye.
You can always plan a wonderful straight evening with your friend with all of the money that you would have spent on your Vegas trip (just the two of you).
I am a guy but hey... I will give this a shot:
Massage for two at a nice spa
Manicure & pedicure
Visit a hair salon (style & cut)
Dinner for 2 at a really nice restaurant (sparkling water & all :-)
Chick flick at a local theater
Movie wrap up at a local coffee house (girl chat included)
This will be a night you will both cherish & remember for the rest of your life, far more than any Vegas bachelorette party... I promise.
You can hear about all of the silly/stupid things they did & how wasted they got when you have dinner with your friend (and know you didnt really miss anything).
All of the best with whatever you choose, I know its tough.
P.S. If you tell her about your drinking & that you are trying to stay sober she will understand... make sure you include your backup plan as well ;-)
Take Care,
NB
it's a movie, you're the star
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 355
Hey,
I just read this post and my story is similar, except I'm 19 and a drug addict. I go to a well known university, I'll be starting my second year, I made Dean's List and received all A's and still have managed to overdose on an average of 3 times a year since I was in seventh grade.
After the past year - which I spent really working on getting clean - I am now almost onto four months clean, I have amazing friends, and a fantastic blossoming relationship. A sober life is the only life for me.
Please private message me some time!
Hugs & support,
Rach
I just read this post and my story is similar, except I'm 19 and a drug addict. I go to a well known university, I'll be starting my second year, I made Dean's List and received all A's and still have managed to overdose on an average of 3 times a year since I was in seventh grade.
After the past year - which I spent really working on getting clean - I am now almost onto four months clean, I have amazing friends, and a fantastic blossoming relationship. A sober life is the only life for me.
Please private message me some time!
Hugs & support,
Rach
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