effortjoy

Yesterday I found myself drinking Chardonnay out of a huge coffee mug. And it suddenly struck me: normal drinkers don't finish off a whole bottle of wine in an hour and normal drinkers don't hide what they are drinking. Normal drinkers drink cofffee out of coffee mugs. So after all the back and forth, I am certain now that I have a problem, and I am certain that I don't want to drink again. I am going to try to do this using just SR- it worked for two weeks a while back and now I'm hoping that it will work for far longer now that I am willing to admit that I have a problem. Please send me encouragement- I know that I can't do this without relying on my HP and all the amazing people here on SR. Thanks for helping me get to this point. First day sober and hopeful....

KenL

That's fantastic EJ! That's a great first step. You have my hopes. SR is a great place for ongoing support and advice. I wish you much luck.

misstep

I'm so proud of you effortjoy! I know this has been a really hard time for you and you've had a hard time deciding what you wanted to do. I hope SR is enough of a support for you, post as often as you need, we are all here for you!!:ghug3

CALYNN

I can really relate to your post. I'm a chardonnay drinker too. Instead of a coffee mug, I drink mine out of a tall tupperware glass with ice and a straw! And, I don't need an hour to finish off a bottle - definitely not normal drinking.

I'm starting again today too. Good luck!

Fubarcdn

Good for you effortjoy.
I am doing this with just the help of SR also and have been for a little over six months so it can be done if you decide that is what you want.
Good luck to you.

least

Congrats and big hugs on making that decision. It's hard getting thru each day without "medication", I know, but staying sober has so many rewards. I hope for the best for you. One day at a time, you can do it!

MycoolFitz

It took an hour to finish a bottle, a little slow.:-) Why are you trying to do sobriety using only SR? You say it "worked for two weeks." Are you going to settle for a two week roller coaster? I'm not going to say what your recovery should be--AA and working the steps, spiritual practice, sober family and friends, professional help, etc. But why do it alone with only SR? You likely have a disease (The Institute For Addiction Study), don't basically operate on yourself. Reach outside yourself for understanding, support, and love. Then, reach inside yourself for the same. I'm here for you friend, my sobriety depends on the common welfare of all. Namaste

tommyk

Effort - I follow your posts more closely than most posts. I lived in the Washington DC area, I worked in the Pentagon, at Naval Intelligence, and a bunch of other impressive sounding places, I traveled overseas on government business. I truly felt that I was 'special' and any problems I had needed to be hidden from view. I couldn't bear to let anyone ever know that I had problems. I had an image to protect, and I protected that image at any expense. Protection of that image nearly killed me. By the time I sought help it was WAY overdue. I spent a good deal of rehab time being taught that I was not special, that I was simply human like everyone else, and that every human has problems.

I highly applaud your decision to not drink - GREAT idea!

But... please do not keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. If your current effort to cease drinking doesn't work, realize it, and take stronger measures (with professional help if necessary).

You are a human first and foremeost, and you are the image you wish to portray second.

Keep coming back, I think you can succeed.

Anna

I'm glad you have made the decision to stop drinking.

There is lots of support here. SR is my lifeline, too, so keep reading and posting.

CarolD

Ej amd CALYNN ....I'm so pleased you are starting sobriety

Tazman53

effortjoy glad to hear you are finally convinced, just stay in the day, take it one day at a time, and be brutally HONEST with yourself! When the thought that a drink might be okay, be honest with your self that you are starting to tread on thin ice!

Be WILLING to add one more thing to what you are doing to stay sober.

I found out that in order to stay sober I have had to be willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober, things that at the time I did not want to do, but I did do them because I wanted to stay sober more then anything else.!

I too work in a goverment position where my alcoholism made me believe that if anyone found out I was in AA or even an alcoholic my professional life would end!

Well my alcoholism was WRONG!!!!! There are people in AA in some of the highest positions in the government in the public eye that use AA to stay sober, they have been doing it for many years, if you are even half way up in the DC food chain I am sure you know some of them, you do not know thet are alcoholics or in AA, I sure did not.

Do not if it is needed let your fear of being found out kill you!!!

I will mention one lady who is an alcoholic who went to treatment and is now in recovery and makes it well known she is a recovered alcohilic that most people admire and respect Greatly..... Betty Ford!!!!

Did her alcoholism/addiction destroy her husbands political career?

You know the answer, in reality it probably helped his career!

Being in the Washingtom scene you certainly know that there is a ton of talk around town about every politician and or thier spouse who is a drunk or doper, along of course with the infidelity. Well Betty Ford was one of those spoken of quite a bit while she was still out there.

When she went into treatment and stayed sober she once again became the talk of the town, but in a very POSOTIVE way.

I for one would much rather have people know me as a recovered alcoholic then as a drunk, which is I found out after I sobered up was what I was known as even though I thought I did an excellent job of hiding it!

I am not saying you need to go to AA to stay sober, a lot of people stay sober without AA, but far more die from thier alcoholism then stay sober whether they try AA or not.

NEOMARXIST

Dust yourself down and ride that sobriety wagon!!!

All the best, Neomarxist. "Viva La Sober Revolution!"

littlefish

Congratulations! That is great to hear.
I do hope however that if you find yourself in a position where you think SR is not enough for you, (and it is a fact that SR is enough for some, but not enough for others....it is just an individual thing)..that you will expand your recovery program in other ways.
There is AA, and plenty of secular alternatives to AA. There are outpatient treatment programs. There is simply a lot out there if you look for it.
And, the more you look for tools, the more tools you will find.
I noticed an announcement at my outpatient center last week for a relapse prevention course that is 8 weeks long.
If I hadn't stopped to glance at the Bulletin Board on the way to see my therapist, I never would have found out about the course. When I keep my eyes and ears open, I am constantly finding ways to deepen and strengthen my program.

braincells

Well, I did the same last night - a bottle of Meridian - and no, it's not normal at all. And I want to help you and myself with this, so When I read your post I joined this on line thing to respond to you. I've been through treatment before, but it looks like I'm back in trouble and need help. What are you going to do about it?

shelly009

You can do it!! Its so much better to not have to question yourself etc anymore!! Glad you came to some conclusions!

Dee74

I'm glad you made a decision effortjoy - I think its a good one
Like Anna, SR is my lifeline - I look forward to you posting some more

D