DJ1

Hi

well I really don’t know where to start but I have finally admitted that I am an alcoholic & need help I have been drinking a liter of wine a day for so long I don’t care to remember, things have gotten so out of control I have not had a drink since Sunday I am now not sure what to do next I knew I cannot do it alone but I am terrified to go to an AA meeting, I know this sounds crazy but I am frightened I will see someone or they will know me !!
I don’t know why this worries me It just terrified of walking in & what to expect can anyone quit on their own ?

Day 3 terrible headaches nervous jittery cant keep still god this better stop soon have not slept in 2 nights

Any help much appreciated

keithj

There is one of those cutesy things you hear around AA, "You can save either your @ss or your face, but not both." What's your choice?

Although I will say, being a recovered alcoholic is a lot more face saving than being an active drunk. So, maybe you can save both.

ogre

Seeing someone I know at a meeting is a big thing for me too! But I am learning to not let it worry me. Please don't let that stop you from going to meetings and getting help!

tyler

You are not alone in feeling that way, trust me, just about everyone who sits in the rooms of AA had that thought the first time they went in. Consider this...you have admitted you have a problem with alcohol, so you are considering going to AA. However you are afraid that you might run in to someone you "know". Did you consider that the only reason that they would be at that meeting is because they have a problem with alcohol and need help too? Can't say as I know too many people who decide to go to an AA meeting just because they have nothing to do on a Tuesday night!! Don't be afraid, you will be embraced and loved. I know it's easier said than done, but just put one foot in front of the other and walk through the door. Take care & welcome to the SR boards. There is a lot of help and support here too, but many find the face to face support offered at meetings to be extremely important to their recovery. It's called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason. You have nothing to fear. Take care.

DJ1

Thank you
re reading my post I sound totally self absorbed that is not how I ment to come across
I have not told my husband or family about stopping drinking my husband will give me the oh that wont last So off to AA should I go to any perticular type by me hey say open closed meetings book 12 oh crap I just dont know which one to go to
thank you for your help in advance

smacked

Afraid for someone in AA to see you and think "wow.. she's doing something great for herself!"?

It's funny to me when people are worried about 'being seen' when none of us really worried about how much of a dumbass we've been out drunk around plenty of people who know us..

I also found that by not telling hubby or family, it gave me persmission to keep drinking if I changed my mind.

Wolfchild

Welcome to the SR community.

You are right in that everyone will know you.
They will know you as an alcoholic seeking help
from those who are recovering from alcoholism!!

The second word of this wonderful & spiritual fellowship is Anonymous.

That means that who you see there and what you hear there,
stays there. There is only one requirement for membership and
you definatly qualify for that by having a desire to live sober.

DJ1

smacked it’s not that im not going to tell my hubby, but I have spent the best part of 11 years in denial & I have to do something for me first .. then I will ask him to be supportive if not I'm out the door.
I now I have to get to meetings to make this life change, because at the end of the day
I need help after all this time I can finally say I'm an alcoholic only took 11 years !!

I am sure the help I will get from this site will be invaluable

Thank you & I look forward to this journey with you all SOBER

smacked

Didn't mean to imply you wouldn't. I didn't for a long time so that I could stay in denial. I was just sharing my experience.. that's what we do here! "on my own" never ever worked for me.. course, that's just me

tyler

To answer your question...Open meetings are "open to anyone". Generally you won't find a big difference between open and closed though. Closed meetings are only for "alcoholics only". They will usually ask anyone who does not consider themselves to be an alcoholic to excuse themselves at the beginning of the meeting.

Some of the various types of meetings you will see are Open Discussion, pretty self explainatory. Step Study, usually they take one of the steps and discuss it in depth. Big Book Study, take a passage or chapter of the BB and discuss. Speaker, features a speaker, usually someone with a substantial amount of "sober time", discussing their "journey" to sobriety. I'm sure there are others. There are also Women only meetings, some of the ladies feel more comfortable with those. They all have the same recovery theme and usually some time for open discussion.

It's a good idea to show up a little early, swallow that pride, and introduce yourself as a "newcomer". Often times at the beginning of the meeting they will ask newcomers to identify themselves, not to embarass you, but you will often be given a list of phone numbers of members you can call at any time you need to. Good to stick around a little bit afterward, as that is when you get the opportunity to really get to know people. If you are shy, but can muster up the courage to let everyone know you are new, you won't really have to do any work, people will come up to you and welcome you with open arms. Hope this answers some of your questions. Take care.

DJ1

tyler thank you so much for the info,
its funny I was the life of the party when I had a drink! now I'm not drinking my confidence has taken a hit I'll get it back i'm sure. but I will take your advice & introduce myself & go form there
again thank you

shaun00

i would imagine that being 3 days sober your pretty much fearful of alot of different things.........i know i was...full of high anxiety.

id been in and out of AA for a while so it was easier for me.....but still fearful of rejection and ridicule.....all unfounded fear and anxiety.

it maybe in a week or less you may feel better about going...dont write it off.

its easy for me to sit here and say..."who cares who sees you or who knows".
i dont feel your feelings .

in reality.....it isnt gonna matter who you see.....its all gonna be about what you do...

i hope your fear subsides and you find the courage........

many here have and remain happy..sober and free.

Dee74

Hi DJ1

I'm not in AA, but I hope you feel better about going in a few days.

Face to face support is important for most of the people here - it's good to go where everyone has the same problem and they all know about shame and embarrassment and anxiety - thats why organisations like AA exist, and it's why they're anonymous.

Its good to have support and people to lean on.

SR is great too of course, for all those same reasons

I hope to see you around.
Welcome!

D