Serenityqueen's Mother passed away this morning
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
I am so sorry about your loss Judy, my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.
I am sure that your Mother is resting in a better place with friends & family that have passed on. She will be watching over you & yours until you are all joined together one day.
Take Care,
NB
I am sure that your Mother is resting in a better place with friends & family that have passed on. She will be watching over you & yours until you are all joined together one day.
Take Care,
NB
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I called Janet (Mrs. Magoo) this morning not too long after she passed and asked her to let you all know. Mom had been acting "different" for the last few weeks and now, looking back after spending the last several days around the clock with her and the Hospice Workers, she was what they call transitioning. She was sleeping a great deal more, more confusion, saying very odd things, withdrawling from nearly everyone else except me and of course her physical health declined.
I had called Hospice about 3 months ago and asked them if there was something they could begin to do for Mom. The thought just suddenly came to me to do this and I have no doubt that God whispered it in my ear. My Aunt and I met with a Nurse from Hospice at the Nursing Home and after examining Mom and speaking with us, they took over her care. A caregiver came to the Nursing Home daily, a Nurse a few times a week and they medically took over her care in the Nursing Home. . . well, they tried too but the Dr. at the Nursing Home fought many of their suggestions which caused a lot of unnecessary suffering on Mom's part for those few months. Last Wednesday I went and looked at other Nursing Homes and we were to move Mom originally today. But Friday morning, the Hospice Social Worker came to visit Mom and saw that she wasn't well and then the Hospice Nurse showed up. In the mean time, I was calling them and the nurse's at the Nursing Home hysterical for them to do something. Since I don't drive, it took sometime for my Aunt to come and get me and we headed out to the Nursing Home. At that time, we were told to call the family. I wanted an emergency move to the new Nursing Home but they told me she would not survive the trip. Hospice came in for round the clock care. I demanded that my Mom be moved from a semi private room to a private room, which they did do.
On Saturday, Mom began declining, she kept saying she wanted to go "home" She kept telling me through tears that she was ready to go upstairs, kept asking me "how are we going to do this?" She kept saying, "Come on Judy, let's go, I'm ready . . . please, let's go. . . " It was heartbreaking. She was in horrible pain that it took a few days to get under control. In the mean time, I was there from around 8:00 am to midnight Sat and Sun but when I went Monday, I stayed there until today. From Monday on, she was pretty much unresponsive except when they would have to move her every few hours and then she would cry out in pain and yell for me. I did come home for an hour or so yesterday after my Family begging me to come home and sleep. I went back and spent the night again with her.
I was with her when she passed this morning. My Aunt, her older sister, had just gotten there when Mom passed on. Mom was waiting for her before she left. My brother lives over an hour away and he was just getting ready to leave to head down to Dayton when Mom passed. I had to call and tell him that she was gone, just like I did when our Dad died.
A short time before she died, she reached out her hand and lifted her arm off the bed as if slowly reaching for something. It looked as though she had gently wrapped her hand around something and slowly put her arm back down on the bed. I have no doubt my sister who died in '91 was there and Mom was reaching out to her. It was beautiful. She also had asked me who "that man was" on Sunday. When I asked her "what man" she didn't respond but stared at one area in the room for the longest time. I have no doubt in my heart who "that man" was. Mom had lost her Faith in God many years ago, she thought He was punishing her for something and felt He had forgotten about her. But there is no doubt in the minds of my Aunt, the Hospice Nurse who was in the room and myself that her Faith was restored before she died.
Mom suffered severe pain for many years and I do believe with all my heart that she is in a better place. She no longer cries out in pain when turned in the bed, she is able to walk now, without her walker, she can run, dance and be with my sister again. She no longer needs oxygen, breathing treatments or tons of meds to keep her alive. She is, for the first time since Linda died, at peace.
I thank you all for letting me share this. I am a ball of emotions right now, as you can probably imagine. Every where I look in my apt, I see something that reminds me of her. Most of you know that I moved her in with me last Sept and I took care of her until I no longer could in Jan. Even though is was a great deal of work and very trying on my patience at times, I will always treasure that time with her.
Her services are Saturday afternoon with a get together in the Church hall afterwards for sandwiches, snacks and punch but mainly to share our memories of Mom.
Thank you all and God Bless,
Judy
I had called Hospice about 3 months ago and asked them if there was something they could begin to do for Mom. The thought just suddenly came to me to do this and I have no doubt that God whispered it in my ear. My Aunt and I met with a Nurse from Hospice at the Nursing Home and after examining Mom and speaking with us, they took over her care. A caregiver came to the Nursing Home daily, a Nurse a few times a week and they medically took over her care in the Nursing Home. . . well, they tried too but the Dr. at the Nursing Home fought many of their suggestions which caused a lot of unnecessary suffering on Mom's part for those few months. Last Wednesday I went and looked at other Nursing Homes and we were to move Mom originally today. But Friday morning, the Hospice Social Worker came to visit Mom and saw that she wasn't well and then the Hospice Nurse showed up. In the mean time, I was calling them and the nurse's at the Nursing Home hysterical for them to do something. Since I don't drive, it took sometime for my Aunt to come and get me and we headed out to the Nursing Home. At that time, we were told to call the family. I wanted an emergency move to the new Nursing Home but they told me she would not survive the trip. Hospice came in for round the clock care. I demanded that my Mom be moved from a semi private room to a private room, which they did do.
On Saturday, Mom began declining, she kept saying she wanted to go "home" She kept telling me through tears that she was ready to go upstairs, kept asking me "how are we going to do this?" She kept saying, "Come on Judy, let's go, I'm ready . . . please, let's go. . . " It was heartbreaking. She was in horrible pain that it took a few days to get under control. In the mean time, I was there from around 8:00 am to midnight Sat and Sun but when I went Monday, I stayed there until today. From Monday on, she was pretty much unresponsive except when they would have to move her every few hours and then she would cry out in pain and yell for me. I did come home for an hour or so yesterday after my Family begging me to come home and sleep. I went back and spent the night again with her.
I was with her when she passed this morning. My Aunt, her older sister, had just gotten there when Mom passed on. Mom was waiting for her before she left. My brother lives over an hour away and he was just getting ready to leave to head down to Dayton when Mom passed. I had to call and tell him that she was gone, just like I did when our Dad died.
A short time before she died, she reached out her hand and lifted her arm off the bed as if slowly reaching for something. It looked as though she had gently wrapped her hand around something and slowly put her arm back down on the bed. I have no doubt my sister who died in '91 was there and Mom was reaching out to her. It was beautiful. She also had asked me who "that man was" on Sunday. When I asked her "what man" she didn't respond but stared at one area in the room for the longest time. I have no doubt in my heart who "that man" was. Mom had lost her Faith in God many years ago, she thought He was punishing her for something and felt He had forgotten about her. But there is no doubt in the minds of my Aunt, the Hospice Nurse who was in the room and myself that her Faith was restored before she died.
Mom suffered severe pain for many years and I do believe with all my heart that she is in a better place. She no longer cries out in pain when turned in the bed, she is able to walk now, without her walker, she can run, dance and be with my sister again. She no longer needs oxygen, breathing treatments or tons of meds to keep her alive. She is, for the first time since Linda died, at peace.
I thank you all for letting me share this. I am a ball of emotions right now, as you can probably imagine. Every where I look in my apt, I see something that reminds me of her. Most of you know that I moved her in with me last Sept and I took care of her until I no longer could in Jan. Even though is was a great deal of work and very trying on my patience at times, I will always treasure that time with her.
Her services are Saturday afternoon with a get together in the Church hall afterwards for sandwiches, snacks and punch but mainly to share our memories of Mom.
Thank you all and God Bless,
Judy
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Judy, what you said is true - she's no longer in pain and misery - and that's wonderful news. That makes it a little easier for those left behind. You have the comfort of knowing you did all you could to make the last part of her life bearable. She was surrounded by your love and caring. I know you'll see her again.
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