Help!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Hi Still. I really feel for ya, I have totally been there. Believe me, you're not alone.
Where do you live? Have you made any phone calls? Other than calling AA??
There are tons of numbers in the phone book. There is also 211, you just dial that from your phone. They are a great resource and can give you tons of numbers to call.
I'm on a "211" kick here as I just called them this week for myself and I want to share this with you. When I was in the same spot you are right now, I laid in my bed drunk called that number first, they gave me a ton of numbers to call and I figured out what and how I was going to do what I needed to do for myself. I spent a month and a half in detox/homeless program, it didn't cost me a dime.
Then for 10 months I was in a treatment center for women who took you from the beginning to end of learning the program, counseling, a bed, food, etc., and when you were ready, helped you find a job and got me out the door. I paid them what I could while I was there and again, I do not owe them any money either. My balance is paid with them. I didn't have a job while I was there so do the math on how much money I was actually able to give them. I gave them what I could.
There are programs out there that will help someone in your position. You have TONS of work in front of you. You're going to have to be willing to do the work if you REALLY want this. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!! I know you can because I did and so many people before us have done it too.
I was in a horrible marriage for 8 years and my drinking and a divorce from hell is what got me out of it. I'm still dealing with TONS of major crap from that X @sshole husband of mine but I'm sober, I'm not married to him any more, I have a WONDERFUL job!!! I have my own apartment, I don't live in a sober house and I'm doing this by myself, all on my own and it's GREAT!!!!!!!!
I want to see you do this.
PM me if you have any questions that you don't want to post in this thread. I'll be more than happy to help. Good luck!
Where do you live? Have you made any phone calls? Other than calling AA??
There are tons of numbers in the phone book. There is also 211, you just dial that from your phone. They are a great resource and can give you tons of numbers to call.
I'm on a "211" kick here as I just called them this week for myself and I want to share this with you. When I was in the same spot you are right now, I laid in my bed drunk called that number first, they gave me a ton of numbers to call and I figured out what and how I was going to do what I needed to do for myself. I spent a month and a half in detox/homeless program, it didn't cost me a dime.
Then for 10 months I was in a treatment center for women who took you from the beginning to end of learning the program, counseling, a bed, food, etc., and when you were ready, helped you find a job and got me out the door. I paid them what I could while I was there and again, I do not owe them any money either. My balance is paid with them. I didn't have a job while I was there so do the math on how much money I was actually able to give them. I gave them what I could.
There are programs out there that will help someone in your position. You have TONS of work in front of you. You're going to have to be willing to do the work if you REALLY want this. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!! I know you can because I did and so many people before us have done it too.
I was in a horrible marriage for 8 years and my drinking and a divorce from hell is what got me out of it. I'm still dealing with TONS of major crap from that X @sshole husband of mine but I'm sober, I'm not married to him any more, I have a WONDERFUL job!!! I have my own apartment, I don't live in a sober house and I'm doing this by myself, all on my own and it's GREAT!!!!!!!!
I want to see you do this.
PM me if you have any questions that you don't want to post in this thread. I'll be more than happy to help. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Originally Posted by Stilljustagirl 
I just know it will help! I am sorry for being such a pain to everyone! Just needed someone to be there and then remembered this .......thank you again!!!!
Remember to tell yourself right now "just for today, I just have to get through today and then I can deal with tomorrow", and you can change that up with seconds, minutes and hours.
grateful to be here
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 426
Still I do hope to see you sometime today saying "2days!!" Way to go. The first thing that you did for yourself is to come here and ask for help. Sometimes that is the hardest or most humbling part. I know it was for me - I've cried through writing a lot of my posts and cried at reading the outreaching of the human spirit here. It's sure proof that there really is good in the world (I sometimes wonder haha--and that was an excuse that kept me drinking) But I think crying was a detoxing of my spirit and how ugly and dark my insides are after so many years of drinking. I'm looking for some cleansing inside and out 
I think I'm finding it here. And I hope I continue to cry and not keep it inside.
I wanted to say something about AA to you-- I am not into AA at all. It didn't help me and I went to several meetings and liked them, participated in them. I do still have my Big Book and will always keep it. The people in AA were good to me and sincere. I was lucky in that way. But AA made me want to drink in the worst way and I did. Maybe it is too structured for me, I don't know. But it's not worth my sobriety to force myself to do something that doesn't help me even if it works for someone else. One thing I will say positive though, I read and post in all the alcohol forums - I read the AA comments too. So many people here have been tremendously helped by the program. If the way of AA appeals to you, please keep searching for a home group that you fit into. I've read about people that had to search for a bit and found a good group and that has made all the difference in their sobriety. Do what you have to do. You don't owe anyone in an AA meeting to continue to come to a group where you feel an outsider. And while you are searching, you can always come here for AA support. There are lots of people who know a lot about it here. And are most willing to share with you.
You are in my thoughts today even while I'm selfishly thinking of myself and my effort to get thru this weekend sober.
I think I'm finding it here. And I hope I continue to cry and not keep it inside.I wanted to say something about AA to you-- I am not into AA at all. It didn't help me and I went to several meetings and liked them, participated in them. I do still have my Big Book and will always keep it. The people in AA were good to me and sincere. I was lucky in that way. But AA made me want to drink in the worst way and I did. Maybe it is too structured for me, I don't know. But it's not worth my sobriety to force myself to do something that doesn't help me even if it works for someone else. One thing I will say positive though, I read and post in all the alcohol forums - I read the AA comments too. So many people here have been tremendously helped by the program. If the way of AA appeals to you, please keep searching for a home group that you fit into. I've read about people that had to search for a bit and found a good group and that has made all the difference in their sobriety. Do what you have to do. You don't owe anyone in an AA meeting to continue to come to a group where you feel an outsider. And while you are searching, you can always come here for AA support. There are lots of people who know a lot about it here. And are most willing to share with you.
You are in my thoughts today even while I'm selfishly thinking of myself and my effort to get thru this weekend sober.
Alcoholic
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Calais Maine
Posts: 37
I have been exactly where you are at. Believe me! I thought I was different. I found out that there were millions of people in this world just like me. They are called alcoholics. Welcome to the world of recovery! It can and will get better. You are not alone even though I know that you feel that way. Believe me again, I was just where you are now. I got thru it (the land of the living dead) and so can you. Good Luck.
P.S. I recovered thru A.A. also!
P.S. I recovered thru A.A. also!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 10
Still Here!!!
Woke up in the middle of the night crying with guilt and sadness for the life that I have lost to drinking! Came out here and felt so much better after talking to 6 people in a chat room!! I feel so much better talking to people who understand! The sun finally came out today!! I feel like there is hope!!!! Going to clean for sons graduation party next week! He is gonna be a freshman!!! Going to my first AA meeting tonight at 5 and try to live again! Thank you to every single one of you for talking and not judging! You all are beautiful and i need every single one of you! Maybe one day I will be the one helping!! That would be my dream! Today I just want to live again!!! Hugs and kisses!!! XOXOXO.....Thank you from the:ghug3:sorry bottom of my heart!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Welcome, and you can do this! Most of us have horror stories to some degree - you will see that in AA too. Don't be afraid to try multiple meetings, each meeting is different. Here is a good link on what to expect:
Your First AA Meeting
Your First AA Meeting
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Stilljustagirl,
This could be the start of a life beyond your dreams. I did much the same as Trucker. I found a guy who knew AA's solution out of the book and he showed me the directions to follow. As a result of that, I recovered from that hopelessness and despair. My life took on new meaning. As a side benefit, I haven't needed or wanted to drink since then.
I can assure you that if you walk into a meeting and tell someone there that you are willing to work the steps, the help will appear. You'll filter right through some of the various opinions in the room, and someone with a solution will show up in your life. It's just how this thing works.
Welcome.
This could be the start of a life beyond your dreams. I did much the same as Trucker. I found a guy who knew AA's solution out of the book and he showed me the directions to follow. As a result of that, I recovered from that hopelessness and despair. My life took on new meaning. As a side benefit, I haven't needed or wanted to drink since then.
I can assure you that if you walk into a meeting and tell someone there that you are willing to work the steps, the help will appear. You'll filter right through some of the various opinions in the room, and someone with a solution will show up in your life. It's just how this thing works.
Welcome.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 10
I don't know what I would have done these first 2 days without all of you. All ready you mean the world to me! I went to first AA tonight!!! Was worried because I knew people and was so surprised they were there. Nothing but love, hugs, caring and famiiar stories!! Tonight I prayy to make it till tomorrow and say 3 days!! I need you all! don't mean to be so needy but so new and I do! Thank you everyone....you are all the best and only hope that I can return the favor and love one day Hugs and kisses.....Melissa
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 542
Yah Melissa, 
That is so so great and fabulous that you went and it was good! Your off now to an amazing start! Bring on Day 3 I say!! Just keep depending on all of us for strength in the days to come - that's what were hear for hon.
Love Pancake xo
That is so so great and fabulous that you went and it was good! Your off now to an amazing start! Bring on Day 3 I say!! Just keep depending on all of us for strength in the days to come - that's what were hear for hon.
Love Pancake xo
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