TheLadyb

I went to a party last night with every intention of not drinking.
Got Drunk
Drove Drunk
Bought another bottle.
and then said things to my husband that are so horrible.
He wants a divorce.
I am at the bottom.
I can't stop drinking.
I don't know how to end this but to END it.
But i have three children who need me.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPP PPPPPPPP

I really really want to stop drinking.
WHY can't I.

smacked

Pour out what you have, drink a sh**load of water, and make an appointment with your doctor.

If you're that drunk, get to an ER so you can detox safely.

This is an opportunity.. grab it with both hands, and feet!

You CAN stop drinking, you just can't do it alone. Most of us can't. Please get help.

Astro

I had to reach that point where staying sober was more important than anything else, to drink meant to die. By the time I'd reached that point I was on my way to a divorce, being kicked out of my own home, losing the right to see my children 24/7, saying goodbye to the dogs, etc. It was too late to save anything other than my life.

Your story of last night sounds like a condensed version of my entire life. So the question is.....are you done yet?

This is a short paragraph from the Big Book of AA, it hits home every time I read it......

We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn’t happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.

There's much, much more to life than drinking, and it's bigger and better than you can imagine right now. Nobody's ever died from not taking another drink, stick around here and you'll see that long-term sobriety and happiness is within reach. I look forward to hearing more from you.

(Big Book quote from page 152, Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st edition)

suki44883

If you are feeling suicidal, please call 911. If you want to stop drinking, you have to take steps to do that. Have you considered AA or another program? Have you considered going to rehab? Rehab can teach you coping skills for when the cravings hit. Posting here helps, but not drinking has to be your number 1 priority. Driving drunk is so totally irresponsible and you are very lucky you didn't hurt someone else or yourself. You CAN stop drinking, but you have to be willing to do whatever is necessary to achieve that. Are you? (((HUGS)))

least

I agree, get to the ER for detox and something to get you thru the first couple days of withdrawal. Can you talk to your husband about not meaning what you said to him? Or is he that mad? If you are suicidal please call the suicide hotline. The number is in one of the stickies at the top of the page. Please get help. You can stop drinking, you need help to do so. Sending up prayers and positive thoughts for you.

joedris

It seems that you've been spinning your wheels in the sand for sometime now, and not showing any progress. You say you attend meetings. I assume we're talking about AA. Merely going to a meeting won't do you any good. You have to get a sponsor and actively work the steps. You have to become involved. Join a home group if you don't have one. Get active in the home group - make coffee or something. You will not get the benefits of AA through osmosis. It takes work. As I'm sure you've heard "Seldom have we seen a person who has thoroughly (emphasis mine) followed our path."

I have a collorary to that. "Seldom have we seen a person succeed who has not thoroughly followed our path." You need to take a hard look at yourself and decide where you fall in here.

Another reading, "How it works" states that some of us thought we could find an easier, softer path...," AA is the easier, softer path. But you know what? It ain't easy and it ain't soft.

keithj

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."
AA Big Book, Ch2, 1st Ed.

The why doesn't matter so much. The facts of your own experience do.

Ladyb, I was pretty much where Astro describes. I was in the initial stages of a divorce, living in my car, couldn't see my son. I was drinking round the clock, puking blood every morning. I had two pending DUI charges.

And guess what? I couldn't stop drinking. I went through another two years of more legal problems, counseling, rehab, insanity.

At the end of my rope, when I knew that I couldn't stop drinking and that my life was just going to keep going down hill along with what sanity I had left, I called a guy in AA who knew the spiritual solution. I was a devout atheist at the time.

I followed the directions, took the steps, and recovered. I live a life that is so much more fulfilling and gratifying than my life has ever been, even before drinking.

I've seen this work for just about anyone.

Anna

Hi Ladyb,

Please talk to your dr. and work on detoxing from the alcohol.

It takes a lot of decisions to stay sober. I had to stay away from certain places and people in order to stay sober. I HAD to!

Know that you can do this!









i

Dee74

ladyb

I couldn't imagine a life not drinking - but I trusted the good people here who told me it was not only possible but life was better. That was 2 years ago.

One day at time I made a commitment to be sober today....and I did everything I could to keep to that and stay that way.

Whatever you think you need - AA, rehab, therapy - take it...try it...do it.

I really believe we decide what our bottom is. Make this yours, ladyb.

hugs
D

readyforhelp

Ladyb,

You can do this. We are here for you, when you're ready. You have to want something more than the drowning gives you, and believe it is possible.

tommyk

Good words. Reality.

Pilgrim

A little over two years ago, I was where you are. My oldest daughter found my note. I wanted desperately to stop but I couldn't. I thought there was no way out. I was completely stuck. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol and I couldn't imagine life with it either. I was at a place called the jumping off point.

There is a solution and the first step is admitting to our innermost selves exactly what the problem is. We have to get very very honest here because we may have a disease that is very cunning and tells us we haven't got it.

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot stop and stay stopped and if, when you start drinking you find you have little control over the amount you take then you are probably alcoholic. If that is the case with you, in my experience, you are not going to be successful using your own willpower to stay stopped.

Alcoholism is a disease that is progressive and fatal. Over time, it always gets worse, never better.

For an alcoholic, there are three ways to stop drinking (and yes - we do need to stop and stay stopped). These ways are based on the experience of thousands of alcoholics. The first is to be locked up - prison, hospital, treatment ... The idea is to try to keep us away from the bottle physically. It doesn't work permanently because when we get out we go back to drinking due to the mental obsession. The second is to die - drink driving, suicide, accidents. That works permanently and is the method 90% of us use, sometimes after years of alcoholic torture with no idea what the problem is. The third is what I did. I found a spiritual solution by doing the steps in AA. My life is transformed and my family is doing well!!

You are not alone and you don't need to suffer any more. There is help. I suggest you try going to an AA meeting that believes in stong sponsorship and doing the steps quickly. If you want more information about that, let me know.

CarolD

Yes...you too can quit drinking....

Talk to your doctor about what is best for you.
You must be honest about your drinking
in order to get the proper assistance.

When I was diagnosed with situational depression
my doctor sggested AA.
It was the best advice I ever had....

Blessings to you and your family

gravity

I once read hitting bottom described as follows:

After each binge the alcoholic has a decision to make - do I want this to be my bottom or do I want to get hit even harder.

It only gets worse, never better.

For me, that decision included not only quitting drinking but also getting help. There is a solution available for everyone.